Warning: Disturbing Penis Dream Ahead

For me being pregnant means a lot of things. It means morning sickness and mood swings and bizarre cravings. It also means strange and vivid dreams nearly every night. Most of the times I enjoy the dreams because they're usually good dreams and they're so realistic that they're kind of fun. It's fun to wake up from a dream that felt so real that you're almost not sure if it really happened or not. The dream I had last night though was so strange and disturbing that I just can't seem to get it out of my head. I've been thinking about it all day long so I just had to share it.

As a side note I would like to point out that I hate hearing about other people's dreams. I just don't think it's that entertaining to hear a 20 minute story about something that only happened in your mind. So I won't be offended if no one reads this. I just want everyone to know that if they do chose to skip this entry they'll be missing out on a description of a living, detachable penis. Oh, and I would also like to apologize in advance to Jesse for telling this story.

Ok. Here goes. In my dream I find myself standing over Jesse who's alseep in bed. Since he's laying there naked and all I decide I'll just, um .... remove his penis. I pull on it and it just pops off, sort of like Barbie's legs do when you pull on them too hard. I walk around with the penis in my hand and I use it for various things like killing a spider and dusting the tv. (That's how you know it's a dream, I never dust.)

At some point I decide to go outside, still holding the penis of course. I'm sitting on the front steps when all of the sudden a bunch of kids go running by yelling for me to look out for the bear. I look over my shoulder and realize that there's a huge brown bear running towards me. I run towards the house and decide to throw the penis at the bear to distract it. I watch from the porch as the bear walks over to sniff the penis. To my suprise the penis comes to life, moving and hissing like a snake. (I won't describe this further because even thinking about it horrifies me now.)

I run inside to find Jesse awake and looking out the window and smiling as the bear rips apart his snakepenis. "Oh Jesse!" I cry "I'm so sorry! Now we won't be able to have any more children! I'm sorry I didn't think about that before I threw it!"

Jesse just smiled and said it was no big deal. The last thing I remember before I woke up was that I felt so relieved that Jesse wasn't mad that I let a bear eat his living, detachable penis.

So. Uh. That's it then.