How would you describe me?

Now that the surrogacy is on again I've agreed to blog about the process and my pregnancy on my agency's website. In order to get started I need to write a short thingie* about myself. I cannot fricken do it! Everything I write makes me sound like an arrogant jackass ("I just want to make the world a better place by creating something that would not have been possible without me!") or a sad sack ("Oh, don't mind me. I'm just happy to have someone notice me. Pregnancy makes me fat.") or a complete crazy lady ("My womb is a golden vessel from which springs forth new life unto a glorious world and angels and puppies and unicorns!"

I cannot write with pressure on me! I can't even get the basics right. I don't know how much information to give and how to phrase it to make it sound good without sounding too good. Why is it so hard for me to write do this? It's not like I have a hard time talking about myself in real life. Or on my blog. Or in my head as I pretend that I'm narrating a documentary about my life. It makes laundry less boring ok?

So help me out here people. I'm not asking you to write this thing for me but just give an idea of how to start. And finish. And tell me what I should say in the middle. And also, if you have any attractive pictures of yourself that you can let me use that would be great because I'm supposed to send a picture of myself in and in all the ones I have of myself my face looks like a matzo ball.

*They chose me for my mad writing skillz and ability to use words like "thingie" when other words would really work much better.