Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I spoke too soon

Remember how earlier today I said that soccer was going great? I spoke too soon. Today Joseph was being the goalie and he let a goal slip by him. A kid on his team yelled "You stink!" to him. The coach pulled him over right away to give him a talking to. If the kids' mom hadn't shown up just as practice was ending I would have had a few choice words for him too. Luckily Joseph had no idea the kid was even talking to him. He was just really not with it today. Usually he's a running, kicking machine but today he mostly just wanted to grab the ball. And cuddle it. And kiss it. Who knows what goes on in that little head of his.

Joseph's helper

I am crazy about the helper that Joseph has during soccer. She's a 5th grade teacher so she's used to dealing with kids. She mentioned to me that a couple of the kids playing soccer have a "bad additude" so she's already talked to them once about being nice to Joseph. She says if she has to she won't hesitate to get a little tough with them. It's like he has his own mafia looking out for him. She's also really good about getting him to pay attention and stay focused on the game. He likes her a lot too so it's all working out really well. Things are going great for Mr Joe.

Monday, June 26, 2006

My deal with the devil

I have aquired a Sam's Club membership. Before you know it I'll be frequenting the drive through at McDonalds to buy Joseph some pop. Then I'll stop in at Wal-Mart to buy formula, snacks for my combined NRA/anti/choice meeting and the new Ashley Simpson cd. Then I'll talk about how awesome Fahrenheit 9/11 was. Someone stop me before I get too far out of control.

Tummy troubles

No update this weekend because Joseph and I both had some kind of stomach bug. Mine resulted in me not eating for about 48 hours and having my back sieze up completly and Joseph's resulted in him throwing up all over our bed and having some of the worst gas man has ever known. We're both better now and it looks like Elle and Jesse managed to avoid catching whatever it was that we had.

On Friday I took the kids to the zoo and Judy joined us for part of the day. It was fun right up until the point where a fire alarm went off and they evacuated the whole zoo. I wonder what happened there.

Starting today Joseph will have a "helper" at soccer. There's a program here where kids with special needs can have someone help them with sports (and other types of activites) to kind of help keep them on track. I told Joseph that he's going to have an extra coach and he's all for it. He's excited because (as he says) she'll help him do his best. What a sweetie.

Joseph, Elle and I will beon our own this week. Jesse's going to be gone all week for work. This should be interesting to see how we all handle it. Pray for Mojo.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Who are you?

Fess up if you're from TWoP and reading my blog! I know you're out there!

Teeth news

Joseph had his very first ever succesful dentist appointment yesterday. He had a check-up and cleaning and x-rays all with no problem. I found a dentist that has the magic touch! And it doesn't hurt that he's freakishly hot. Not that I notice that type of thing. Anyway, the whole thing went perfectly and Joseph even said that he had fun. He has not a single cavity or even any damage from the massive teeth grinding that he does at night. Even better news, Dr Hot says that the teeth grinding will probably go away all on it's own once Joseph gets all his molars in and that should be soon now.

Elle is getting another tooth! Thankfuly it's one of the center top ones and I'm sure the other one will follow soon. She's been kind of a bear the past fews days but that's not suprising considering she has 4 teeth that just popped though and 2 more that are probably very close.

In other Joseph news, his soccer practice is kind of hard for me to watch. Not all the kids are as nice as they could be and they aren't real patient with Joseph even though he's doing his best. He doesn't seem bothered by it though. He runs up and down that field like there's no tomorrow. He may only get to kick the ball once when they break into teams but he puts everything he's got into it. The rest of the time he just runs around yelling things like "Yellow team unite!" and "I try my best" and "I never give up!". Can you tell we've given him a pep talk or two. He was super excited yesterday because his team won 3-0 even though when he got the ball he kicked it halfway down the field in the wrong direction before the coach managed to get him turned around.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Some people are lame

Jesse drives by our town's Planned Parenthood clinic every day on his way to work. He told me that every Friday there are protestors out there picketting. Here's the thing, that clinic doesn't even do abortions. They do lots of other good stuff like give women access to free or low cost birth control. They educate and inform women about their health and reproductive choices. They do pap smears and provide other health services. But some anti-choice group has decided to march around the clinc every Friday to try to stop women from even going into the place. The place that helps women avoid getting pregnant and having to choose if they should have an abortion or not. Tell me how that makes any sense at all.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I was mistaken

Elle does not have one new tooth. She has three. The one on the bottom and two more on the top. Here's the strange thing. They're not the front teeth, they're the one's that are next to where the front ones should be. Have you every heard of such a strange thing? My baby is a freak!

Monday, June 19, 2006

BamBam and Pebbles

Today Joseph had his first day of t-ball and soccer. I'm going to switch him out of t-ball and into bambam ball tomorrow. He'll fit in better there because the kids are younger and they work on more basic skills. Like not throwing your glove when you throw the ball. Which it seems is something Joseph needs practice at. He liked it a lot though so it was fun to watch him.

In soccer he is the smallest of all the kids and has the least experience. The group is really for kids 6-10 but I was allowed to sign him up for it since he'll turn 6 soon. There is no younger group for soccer otherwise I might have considered moving him into that. He really worked hard though. He ran and ran and ran the whole time. He was right in there with the bigger kids trying his hardest to get the ball. As he told the coach when he got to practice "I might be small but I'm quick!"

Elle tried to eat a pebble as we were watching Joseph practice today. When I fished it out of her mouth I discovered that she's got a third tooth. It's on the bottom, right next to her other 2. Silly girl hasn't even gotten her top ones in yet.

Happy Father's Day!

Blogger wasn't working for me yesterday so I didn't get to post this when I wanted to. Anyway, it's lame compared to what Ben said.

Happy Father's day to Jesse and my own wonderful dad. Both of you have children who are very lucky to have you as their father.

This weekend was busy! We spent all day at the Mall of America with Judy yesterday and Joseph just about ran us ragged. The kid has so much energy! Today we went to my parents house to grill kabobs. Or "kabobbys" as Joseph called them. I ate way too many as always. The trick though is to pass your empty sticks to other people so it look like they were the ones to eat so many.

As a Father's Day present to me Elle has started saying "Mama". So cute! It brought tears to my eyes to hear it. She really just learned how to make the "mmmmmm" sound so it takes a lot of working at it to get it out but it's just about the sweetest little sound you've ever heard.

Friday, June 16, 2006

In the weeds

We got a notice from the City Weed Inspector yesterday. Yes, apparently it's a real job. He told us that we had weeds over 8 inches long in our yard and if we didn't cut them then he would and we would be charged for the time. This has pissed me of for 3 reasons.

1) This notice was issued the day after Jesse cut the grass. The only weeds we can think of that might have been that long are either a few growing against the house (because Jesse had not yet used the weedeater) or in the strip between the road and the sidewalk. There is no grass in that strip, just weeds. It's not our fault, there used to be grass there and then they tore it all up when they redid the gutters along the street. Then they put in this shitty sod about 2 weeks before the first snow. All the grass died and there's nothing but weeds there. If you walk around my neighborhood everyone has the same thing. Big patches of dead grass with nothing but weeds that grow at 10 times the rate of the rest of the grass. Even the crazy lawn guy across the street has it.

2) The house across the street from us has been empty for about a year now and it's sidewalks were never shoveled in the winter and it's grass has not been cut in monhts. Why isn't some city bigwig making sure that yard is taken care of? We may not have the best landscaped lawn in the world but at least the grass is cut on a regular basis.

3) The house across the alley from us has 2 jumked cars sitting it the yard. This is somehow ok. It's ok to have gaint hunks of rusting metal in your yard as long as you keep the weeds around them cut to less than 8 inches.

Maybe the City Weed Inspector could use his power for good. Maybe he could do some undercover work to find out who it is that's allowing their dog to crap on our sidewalk on a nearly daily basis. As of yet I've been unable to figure it out and I would really appreciate some help in the matter. Maybe if he figured it out he could even wack the offender with his 8 inch ruler. That would make me feel better.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Kiddie Parade

Here are some pictures from the Kiddie Parade the kids were in recently.
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That's us before the parade.

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Here's us during the parade. Note the look of pain on my face. I think it was from lugging 22 pounds of hula dancer around. Or maybe I was just reminding Joseph to wave.

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Here's a shot of Hawaiin Joseph.

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And here's one of Hawaiin Elle.

How cute are we?

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

What did you say?

Joseph and I were sitting around eating dinner tonight when out of the blue he turned to me and said "I'm attracted to dogs."

I nearly died choking on my laughter. I asked him what he said. He looked as confused as could be and said "Why are you laughing? I just said I'm attracted to dogs!"

Ok, this time I couldn't hold back the laughter. Once I calmed down I asked him why he would say such a thing. His answer was "Well, when I'm around them my nose runs and my eyes get itchy. I think I'm attracted to them."

So yeah, he meant "allergic". "Attracted" was funnier though.

Joseph and I played outside for about an hour today, mostly chasing each other around and spraying each other with the hose. At one point he was running after me trying to spray me and he yelled "Come back here Mommy! I just want to tell you how much you inspire me!" Cute!

Too anal retentive for Play-doh

Joseph is in the kitchen playing very nicely with Play-doh. I'm sitting here quietly stressing out because he's mixing the colors up. He's happily chattering away making blue and orange and green creations and it's taking everything I have not to go over there and demand that he seperate all the colors RIGHT NOW!

Summer news

It's going to be a busy summer for Joseph. On Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays he'll be playing t-ball and soccer. On Thursdays he'll do arts and crafts and then bowling. Plus, he's got a total of an hour and a half of therapy a week (and we may be adding more before the summer is out), plus, the library has a summer reading program he wants to take part in, plus we'll be trying to fit in visits to the pool and park. He has a goal to try to go all the way under this big spraying thingy (it's technical name) at the pool before summer is over. He's got a log going on.

In other news, Diet Dr Pepper continues to taste like hot buttered ass.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Pointless survey II

Because I'm bored:

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? I have one on my knee from a roller skating accident from when I was a kid.
2. WHAT ARE ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Paint, pictures of the kids and a spider.
3. WHAT DOES YOUR MOBILE LOOK LIKE? My mobile?
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO? A little of everything except rap or heavy metal
5. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO? Watch movies from Netflix, add movies to my Netflix queue, organize my Netflix Queue.
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING? A bigger house.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS AT TIMES? Friends from high school.
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION? I don't know if I have one.
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SMELL? Freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? Sometimes.
11. IF YOU DIED TOMORROW: That's not a question.
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? I don't know.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE? Um....
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Short.
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING TO SOMEONE? Given that I'm married? No where.
16. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD? Jesse.
17. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE? Es-Yeah.
18. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX)? I think I got a teddy bear from my dad when I was born.
19. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? Leaving where? Like to the store or leaving for good? What the hell kind of survey is this?
20. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? With words.
21. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 99
22. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN? My parent's house.
23. WHAT ANNOYS YOU THE MOST? Inconsiderate people.
24. HAVE YOU EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? I don't think so.
25. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY? Nursing Elle.
26. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Breast reduction.
27. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY? Because I'm bored I guess.
28. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PIZZA? Canadian bacon and pineapple.
29. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL? Take up smoking pot?
30. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? Money.
31. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF IT SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING BLOOD? Never go outside again.
32. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? I don't think so.
33. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Yes, but it's never done me a bit of good.
34. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE? I guess the one with the diamond on it.
35. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Friday night.
36. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No, I write like a boy.
37. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT? Salami.
38. ANY BAD HABITS? I'll answer that later.
39. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF? That Disney CD with a song by Raven Symone.
40. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes, I'm awesome.
41. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL? Yes.
42. DO LOOKS MATTER? Not in the great scheme of things.
43. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? I get up on my high horse and rant and rave about people who aren't as good as me.
44. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? Disney World.
45. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY? Family, yes. Other people, no. Look at me, I'm Tony Soprano all of the sudden!
46. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Barbies.
47. WHAT CLASS IN SCHOOL DO YOU THINK IS TOTALLY USELESS? Home Ec.
48. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? I have a blog.
49. DO YOU USE SARCASM? No, everytime I talk I mean exactly what I say.
50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT? No.
51. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GIRL? I.... don't know.
52. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? I have none! Boo hoo!
53. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Sure, why not?
54. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No time for that in my fast paced life.
55. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE STRONG POINTS? Yes.
56. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR? Chocolate chip cookie dough.
57. WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE? 10.
58. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE COLOURS? Green.
59. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE? None, I had them all cut out.
60. WHO DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW? Denile.
61. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? Yes, please call me with you answers ASAP!
62. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Some New Age crap on TV.
63. LAST THING YOU ATE? Part of a Hershey's Special Dark bar.
64. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Someone from the local summer youth program.
65. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX? That they're men.
66. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? I'm good, how are you?
67. FAVOURITE DRINK? Regular Dr Pepper.
68. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? I don't know, something fruity probably.
69.WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT? Baseball.
70. HAIR COLOUR? Brown with blond and reddish highlights.
71. EYE COLOUR? Kind of greenish hazel.
72. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES? I do when I don't have my contacts in.
73. SIBLINGS? One younger brother.
74. FAVOURITE MONTH? April I guess.
75. FAVOURITE FOOD? Chocolate chip cookies. God, how many questions has that been the answer to now?
76. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Skeleton Key. Stupid!
77. FAVOURITE DAY(S) OF THE YEAR? Weekends.
78. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? I did it a couple of times back in my single days.
79. SUMMER OR WINTER? It's summer right now.
80. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs.
81. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE-NIGHT STANDS? Relationship. Don't be a whore.
82. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING RIGHT NOW? About 5 different ones. I'm about 4 pages away from the end of AFFC.
83. WHAT’S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Mickey Mouse.
84. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? Hotels.
85. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Hell's Kitchen.
86. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE? I wonder if I'll get to take a long-ass survey that has a bunch of strange questions and ends abruptly?

The Big Switch

I've switched from regular Dr Pepper to Diet Dr Pepper. I'm sure it will be ok as soon as I accept the fact that the diet stuff tastes like complete and utter crap.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Busy weekend

We've been so buys the past few days! On Thursday we entered Joseph and Elle in the local Family Fun Week Kiddie Parade. My parents put together a "float" that Joseph pulled on the back of his 4 wheeler. The theme of the float was "Escape to Hawaii". It was pretty cute. It even had a tape playing Hawaiin music as he drove along. He wore a little Hawaiin outfit and as he drove down the street he waved to everyone watching and yelled "Aloha!". I think what may have given us the last little push to win first place though was Elle in her bikini and grass skirt. I promise I'll post pictures soon. It's just about the cutest thing you've ever seen. Joseph was really excited to win first place for the second year in a row.

On Friday night through Saturday morning we had the Relay for Life. That's always fun. Joseph stayed the whole time and he did just great. He was even able to sleep for 6 hours or so. The silent auction items donated did well too and raised nearly $100 putting our team total raised at around $1800. So that's good.

Sunday was a baby shower for one of my cousins. Seeing her so excited for her baby has made me want another. I know Elle's still a baby but I miss having a tiny baby around. Can I really be saying this? It wasn't that long ago that I was still sobbing at night because Elle was waking up every hour on the hour to nurse. And have I really forgotten how miserable I was at the end of my last pregnancy? Yeah, I guess I have. I want another baby!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Parenting is hard

Sometimes being a good parent is all about ignoring your instincts.

A couple of days ago my mom and I took Joseph and Elle to play at a kiddie pool. After we had been there of a few minutes Joseph found three older boys (maybe they were 8 or 9) who were playing a game where they tried to push each other down under the water. I called Joseph over and told him that it was ok if he played with the boys but that he couldn't push or be pushed. Call me over protective but I couldn't see letting my very gentle little boy get pushed around by three little ruffians. Anyway, that seemed to be an ok plan for a while. The boys pushed and splashed and Joseph mostly just followed them around squealing.

Then things took a turn for the less fun. I looked away for one second to make sure that Elle wasn't floating away and I look back to see Joseph sitting by the side of the pool crying. I hop up and start walking quickly over to him. The older boys went into defense mode. They were no dummies. They know that when a 6 foot tall woman is storming over to her child that you just made cry you start coming up with answers and quick. In reality I wasn't even going to say anything to the boys, I just wanted to find out from Joseph why he was crying.

Joseph told me that one of the boys told him he couldn't play with them anymore because they were playing a pushing game and he wasn't allowed to push. I had two instincts right then. The first was to scoop Joseph up and cradle him and soothe him and help him feel better. The second was to tell those older boys "You're going to play a gentle game with my son and you're going to like it!" I did neither.

First I told the boys (who were still loudly proclaiming their innocence) that I knew they hadn't done anything wrong. Then I whispered to Joseph that he needed to stop crying because otherwise those big boys were not going to want to play with him. Then I told him that he needed to either find someone else to play with or he needed to ask the boys if it was ok if he just splashed instead of pushed. The littlest of the bigger boys was furiously whispering to his friends "Is it ok if he just splashes? His mom says he can't push!"

As they discussed it with each other my sweet and gentle little boy sat on the side of the pool shivering and saying "It's ok! We'll work out a plan! It's ok, right Mommy? We can work out a plan? My friends will still let me play with them? Right?" Augh, that was hard.

In the end they decided that he could splash instead of push. Joseph went back to following them around and squealing and they went back to mostly ignoring him. He was happy. I was a mess. I wanted so bad to demand that those little boys be nice to him and include him. I just want the whole world to see how gentle he is and to be as gentle with him in return. It's hard knowing that the older he gets the more he's going find that not everyone is as nice as he is and not everyone is going to want to be his friend. Why can't I just follow him around for the rest of his life making sure everyone is nice to him?

Netflix review

Sometimes when I'm considering adding a movie to my Netflix queue I like to read the reviews of other people to see what they have to say about the movie. There are some real gems out there. In honor of all the people who post Netflix reviews I now present to you the best Netflix review I have ever seen. It doesn't matter what movie it's for, just read it and enjoy!
"I haven't seen this anf if, as it now states in small print that it is titled, I will not watch it as I haven't the three other titled films. You should note in - large --- letters when it is subtitled. Please send me the english version of this film. Please put in the film description when the actors will not be speaking Eniglsh as I do not speak French. Also, when talking to your customer service, they stated I had 7 ?? movies in hand? I do not. Please advise which ones you state I have please and see if we can clear this up. Thank you. By the way. I hope you win your suit against Blockbuster"

They wrote another one later too!
"Since you do not reply to anything I write, I am checking other places to get movies!! I have stated many times trhat you do not state clearly, foreign films, I believe 4 of. Also, one of them was empty, another scratched, which was replaced. Now, I have none at all??? I will bet you have many more like me. I guess your getting to big?At this time, paying for 3 movies at a time, I have none in the house???"
This was about a movie named "Touchez Pas au Grisbi". How could they have known it was foreign with a title like that? I love people.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

What Joseph said

"Mommy, that shirt looks nice on you. It's a good shirt because it has a spot for those lumpy things on your chest to go."

"Sometimes when you're in love with someone and you look at them everyone can tell that you're in love with them and it makes you feel shy. That's why when I love someone I keep it my own secret."

"I don't really like all these dinners that you make me. Instead of food can you just buy me toys?"

Monday, June 05, 2006

Rewards

Who ever said motherhood is a thankless job? Yesterday Joseph grabbed a stack of paper and some crayons and sat himself down to work on a project. He scribbled for about 15 minutes and all I heard him say was the occasional mumble of "Oh yeah, she has two eyes, not one." and "This color is good for a shirt." After a while be brought me a "book" that he had made. It had pictures of the two of us together doing various things and he had carfully signed his name at the bottom of each page. He asked me if I could write the title of the book on the cover for him. What was the title? "I love you Mommy". Cripes, I was just a big puddle of happy, melted mommy.

Congratulations to my sweet baby boy on raising $215 for the Relay for Life. He's a monster!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Imagine this

Imagine this: You plan out a dinner for your family. You make a great effort to plan something that everyone will like. You cook the dinner with your own 2 hands and present it to your waiting family. You are greeted with shrieks of "This is gross!" and "I don't eat this yucky stuff!" and "Mommy, why do you cook stuff I hate?". You send the little shrieker to the couch to sit quietly so that you can enjoy your meal. After a while he gets bored and wanders back in to berate you some more for not making chicken nuggets. Repeat the same thing every night and you'll see what it's like to live with Joseph.

Contrast this with Elle who only screamed once at dinner and that was because I wasn't paying close enough attention to her and I hadn't noticed that she had eaten all her tater-tot casserole. By the end of the meal Elle had eaten more of the dinner than Joseph had. She even clapped in between bites.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Hot or Not? The Random Edition

Let's proceed shall we?

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There's nothing much to say about the girl in this picture but how strange is the family posed in the pictures she's pointing to? Did the photographer say "Now act like someone put you in a glass jar and shook you up"?

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"But Grandpa we don't want to be in the picture!" "Quiet kids! Don't you want grandpa to get a good rating on Hot or Not!"

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Is this really the best picture you have of yourself? Really?

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Dude, how much popcorn does this guy have? I totally want to watch movies at his house!

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"...... to get through the wrapper on this Tootsie Pop?"

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Our secret obsession

Joseph and I have a secret. It's something I've never shared before. He and I are suckers for the crap that you see commercials for on tv and then order over the phone. We almost never see one of those commercials without one of us saying "I'd like that!"

What does Joseph covet? Blendypens! http://www.renart.tv/index_files/blendy.htm He talks about them all the time. "And Mommy, did you know that the Blendypens come with a carrying case that is also a belt so that you can color wherever you go?"

What do I covet? The Kaboom NeverScrub Refillable Self-Cleaning Toilet Kit. http://yhst-54645302932347.stores.yahoo.net/neverscrub.html

I sometimes think I might cave in and order one or the other but I'm afraid that if I do I will lose all self control and order everything I see on tv. I'll become one of those people who watches infomercials not because they are funny but because I find them to be a great way to keep up with what'snew in the field of overpriced junk. I'll watch the Home Shopping Network and start ordering applique vests from Susanne Sommers. (I think I spelled about 10 words wrong in that last sentance.) I don't want to be one of those people so instead I'll quietly covet and hope someone else buys Joseph and I what we want.

The final day

Today is Joseph's last day of preschool. Eeek!

Yesterday I freaked him out by telling him that during the summer he would only be allowed to pick 2 shows a day to watch on tv and then that would be it. His little heart is broken.

Joseph's been watching old Double Dare reruns lately. What a crappy show that is. I didn't realize it when I was a kid but man, what a pile of suck. They ask about 8 questions in every round and the rest of the time is spent explaining how the Physical Challenges are supposed to work. Half they time they break or don't work like they're supposed to. Then, during the final challenge it's just one huge commercial as they explain what lame prizes you can win after getting through each obstacle. Anyway, Joseph really likes it for some reason now and has been asking us if we can go on the show.

Elle is starting to get up on her knees and elbows and rock back and forth. Won't be long now till she's crawling. Ack! Why do my kids keep growing!?!

Interesting note - Someone is stealing my computer games! I can't find my Pharaoh disk. If you have it please give it back to me. If you don't have it but feel sorry for me then please buy me a new one. Thank you.