Saturday, April 30, 2005

Warning!

Eating too many Twizzler Sours will give you a little bump on your tounge that hurts like the devil.

In happeir news my dad's new Disney poll-thingy is up. Check it out!

Friday, April 29, 2005

Mmmmmm

Doesn't that new Twizzlers Sour candy sound like the tastiest, most mouth watering thing ever created? No? Then why haven't I been able to stop thinking about it all day long?

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Dreams

I have been having some really odd dreams lately. Bad, bad nightmares that wake me up and bizzare, vivid dreams that seem to make no sense of all. Last night I had a dream that I could feel the baby moving and when I looked down I realized that my belly had turned clear and I could see into it to watch the baby. I could see him turning around and kicking his legs. It felt so real and then I woke up because Joseph was poking me in the stomach. He was dreaming and talking about Velma and getting into the tv. Oh well, it was fun to think for a minute that it was the baby that I felt and not a crazy 4 year old with a Velma fixation.

Karma?

I must have done something bad to a restaurant owner in a past life because I have some bizzare karma going on right now. Yesterday I was craving a hamburger and Jesse stopped off to get one at Wendy's after his softball game. Now you should know that I love hamburgers with mayo and pickles. It's really the only way I like them. Anything else on them just ruins them. I was so looking forward to that hamburger. Jesse comes home and I open it up and they gave me a stinking cheeseburger. I cheeseburger. As in, a burger with cheese. Cheese that ruined the entire thing. Jesse called and they offered to send him a coupon but he went in and got the order instead. They gave me a coupon for a combo meal. I'm getting a real collection of coupons for free meals now. I would actually just prefer they get the stinking things right in the first place.

This all leaves me wondering how often this stuff normally happens. I don't usually eat a lot of fast food or take out but I have been more often lately. Is it normal to have places get your order wrong 4 out of 6 times you go out? "Oh why is me? What did I do to deserve this?" -Joseph

Monday, April 25, 2005

My pet peeve

One thing that I hate, I mean really, really hate is when I go out to eat and my order gets screwed up. It's 10 times worse when you get drive-thru or take out because then you can's just send it back. We went to Bravo Burrito tonight to grab some dinner and I ordered a beef burrito and Jesse ordered some chicken thing with super hot sauce. When we got home I took one bit of my burrito and my mouth was on fire. They had put Jesse's hot sauce on my burrito. It was so hot that it was just painful. Jesse offered to swap with me but I didn't like what he had ordered at all. I would have gone back to complain (or called) but I am planning on going back tomorrow to hit them up for a donation for the Relay for Life. But it still bugs me, especially since it has happened 3 out of the last 5 times I have gotten food from a restaurant.

My top (bottom?) 5

I'm a little crabby today because I'm starting to suspect I will have morning sickness for the rest of my life. I'm going to be holding my newborn child in one arm and my trusty ice cream bucket in the other. In honor of my less than cheerful mood I am posting my top (or bottom) 5 items that people use with their children that drive me nuts. In advance, no offense to anyone who used or uses these, it's just my personal thoughts.

5- Really expensive children's clothing. I have no problem with someone like Bill Gates dressing his child in designer wear. The people I'm talking about here are the sleazy looking people you know just got done cashing their welfare checks and go off to buy Junior a whole new Tommy Hilfiger wardrobe while the government picks up the tab for little extras like food and electric bills. Junior is almost always drinking from a bottle filled with Kool Aid too. (See #1.) If I ran the world there would be a law that if your rent is subsidized you're not allowed to shop at FUBU or Baby Gap or anything like that. Call me a snob but there's a reason that Joseph wears clothes from Target and K-Mart. It's because it's what we can afford. We didn't get the notice that your toddlers clothing budget should come first on your list. Silly us, we've been buying food and keeping a roof over our heads.

4- Child harnesses. Unless your kid was raised by wild animals and then returned to you at the age of three there is no stinking reason you can't control them without the use of a leash. How much easier is it really to hold onto the leash then the kid's hand anyway. And I'm not even going to mention that I was once almost killed at Disney World when I kid wearing a leash cut in front of me and got me all tangled up his in two foot teather as his mother walked along, paying no attention what-so-ever as her child and a complete stranger lay crumpled on the pavement next to her. No, I won't mention that at all because there are plenty of other reasons to hate these things. Anyone who has ever gone out in public with Joseph knows he can be a handful at times but I've found that by paying a small amount of attention to him I'm able to keep him by me without resorting to something that was made for dogs!

3- Nuks. In theory I have no problems with nuks. Joseph used one for a while but it was really only when he was sleeping or when he really needed extra comforting, like at the doctors office. What I hate is seeing kids who are walking around and going to school and doing their own taxes using nuks. Here's a tip, when Junior is old enough to walk into a restaurant and order a steak and then cut said steak on their own, it's probably time to retire the nuk. Although the liklyhood of a waiter being able to understand their order is probably pretty low, what with the nuk lodged in their mouth and all. Even with the nuk out they have probably developed a delightful speech problem. They're probably not going to be able to actually chew the steak real well either with the train wreck they've got going on for teeth caused by years and years of non-stop nuk usage.

2- DVD players in cars. Some of my best memories of trips that we used to take are of us all in the car singing and playing games just talking. (Don't get me wrong, I'm not seeing the past through rose colored glasses. It wasn't all good. I can clearly remember many times Ben would eat an entire bag of Funions and fall alseep with his head on my shoulder, burping and farting for the next 100o miles.) But for the most part it was fun. We got to see some really beautiful sights just by turning our heads and looking out the window. We got to spend some real quality time together playing the Alphabet Game or 20 Questions. I also like to think we got some culture by listening to the same Peter, Paul and Mary tapes over and over and over again. None of that would have happened if we had just put in a DVD or 10 while we were driving. We wouldn't have had so much fun laughing as my dad pretended to decode license plates or used our brians as my mom read the 100th Tri-Bond question in a row. I think DVDs in cars are a part of the school of thought that says "Why bother to entertain your kids when you can put in a Rugrats DVD shut them up for the entire drive?" Call me an old fogey but when I was kid we actually interacted with each other and we had a good time and we put up with it when our brother farted on us continously across 4 states and that's the way we liked it.

1- Kool Aid. I bet I can count on one hand the times we had Kool Aid in my house as a kid. Why do people let their children drink this stuff? "Tired of water honey? Let me pour in some sugar and coloring and serve that to you. No reason to give you something healthy! It's not like you've got growing to do!" What's so wrong with sticking with juice or water or milk? Kool Aid does nothing but rot kid's teeth, and their brains and even the very fabric of our society. Ok, so I might be over-reacting a little bit but I really hate this stuff. It's one thing to give Kool Aid to your kids when they're a bit older (say, 40) but before then you make their food choices for them. Why make a choice that has only negatives and no positives. No matter how the commercials try to spin it, it's crap and I will never have it in my house. (As a side note, I also hate it when people give their very young children pop.)

Wow, that was harsh. Well, I had to break twice to vomit while I typed this so I hope you'll cut me some slack. On a happier note I am 15 weeks pregnant today and my jeans still fit. They were loose for a little while after I lost all that weight but now I can really feel my belly getting bigger and the pants have started to fit again. Some things I've read said I might be able to feel the baby move as soon as next week. I'm really excited for that but knowing me I'll get all weepy over a gas bubble.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Argh

grumblegrumblegrumble

The tide has turned, the winds have shifted. A new day has begun. I think I'm going to keep Joseph in pre-school another year after all.

That is all.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

How much longer?

I think I'm going to have morning sickness for the rest of my life. Seriously, I'm ready for this crap to be done with. I'm over 14 weeks now so any day would be good.

Joseph has been working on a plan all day to try to get into the Scooby Doo world. He has tried leaning against the tv, closing his eyes and singing the Scooby Doo theme song and laying on the couch with his Scooby Doo books covering him. He told me I won't have to miss him because I can watch him on tv every day.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Happy Birthday to me

It's my birthday today! How old am I? 20-something? 28 I think but don't quote me on that. Joseph has told me "Happy Birthday" about 100 times today. I suspect that Jesse coached him a little bit. It's sweet.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

It's not fancy enough!

Check out my awesome new count down at the top of the page.

Today Joesph wanted to wear the same shirt he wore yesterday. When I told him he couldn't he said he had to because his teacher said to him "Joseph, I don't think that's your favorite shirt. You should wear it again!". When he still told him no he then yelled that he had to otherwise he wouldn't "look fancy". Heh. Good one Joseph. I put him in a very cute monkey shirt and when he got on the bus the driver said "Cute shirt Joseph!". He pouted and I heard him mumble something about Velma. He's so strange.

Monday, April 18, 2005

14 weeks

I'm 14 weeks pregnant today.

I have been feeling pretty good this past week but the last day or so have been kind of rough. I was actually getting muscle cramps in my abdomen today from throwing up so hard. I was feeling a little better later and I was able to eat this afternoon. This has to end soon, right?

I met with the case worker from the school Joseph would be going to kindergarten at today. He was really nice and answered a lot of questions that I had. I'm going to hold off on registering Joseph for school for a few days though. His pre-school teacher is going to try to find out about the K teachers Joseph could have. We both agree that he would do better with a certain kind of teacher. One who's firm but not so firm that they can't be flexible with Joseph's needs. Anyway, once she's gotten some info for me I'm going to go ahead and register him.

Mom came over today and helped me clean, clean, clean. It's always nice to have someone come and help organize. Sometimes you just don't know where to start with stuff when you're right in the middle of it but someone else can help figure out where to put things or how to turn one huge, unmanagable projects into a bunch of small, do-able ones. Anyway, that was nice and we got a lot done. She's going to come again next Monday and work on Joseph's room and playroom with me while he's at school. It's impossible to get rid of anything while he's around so it can really only be done when he's at school.

That's all for now, we're late for Joseph's Monday night class!

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Hey!

Joseph was napping on the couch today when he sat straight up and said "Hey! What's all the hulaballoo?". Jesse and I could not stop laughing.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Update!

The siding guys have left! Joseph and I saw them getting into the car when we got back from therapy. They have chosen to give the gift of music to the entire neighborhood though and have left the radio on blaring loud. They have been gone for nearly 2 hours now and that radio has just been merrily blasting away. Would it be totally weird if I turned it off? Or threw it into the street? It's in my yard. All their stuff is in my yard actually. Not just a little, like, a lot. There's siding on the walkway from the house to the garage and a table saw set up about 6 inches off the patio. There's tools and cardboard boxes and plastic and a pair of pants (?) laying all over our side yard. What's up with that? Bah, I just have a short fuse because I don't feel very good today.

I have updated and revised the baby wish list. The baby needs everything.

To send or not to send?

Joseph's pre-school teachers have suggested that we move him on to kindergarten next year. His teacher said he is testing a year ahead of his age group and is in the 91st % of kids academically. I always knew he was bright but I had no idea how bright! The question is, will he be ready as far as is fine motor skills and social skills? The people at his school think he will adjust well to being in a bigger group and could really benefit him. He would continue to get help with the fine motor skills he is having trouble with (like writing and drawing and cutting). There would be a para-proffesional in the room to help kids like Joseph who need a little extra help.

Right now I'm thinking we're going to send him. Everyone involved with him at pre-school seems to think it's a good idea. On Monday I'm going to meet with the Kindergarten special ed case worker for the school he would go to. I'll have a bunch of questions for him. One of them being is it going to matter that Joseph is so tiny? Will he have a hard time keeping up with the other kids? Is his communication on par with the other kids? Will he be able to talk to them? I admit that my concern in this area is probably for nothing. The speech therapist he saw said Joseph was testing way ahead of hi age group in almost all areas.

I don't know. It's hard to think right now. The guy next door is having his siding replaced in in between the non-stop pounding the workers have sappy country music blaring at an ungoldy volume. I can clearly hear every word over the pounding and Joseph watching Sesame Street. As if I didn't already hate that "Live Like You Were Dying" song enough, now these people seem to have found a station that plays it every 8 minutes. Ay yi yi.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Awwwww!

I just wanted to take a second to say thanks for all the very kind emails I have gotten from my buddies at TWoP. I want to take the time to email everyone back but I may be the worst email writer in the history of the world. Anyway, it really does brighten up my day so thank you! Also, death to TGMF!

Pray for MoJo!

Ok, nobody is going to get the title of this entry but it makes me laugh and it pretty much sums up how I feel today. I want to curl up in a ball on the bathroom floor and sleep for the rest of the day.

Last night Joseph slipped trying to get out of the tub and knocked his chin pretty good. He split it open just a little bit and cried very dramatically until he was told he could go back into the bath tub for a little while. It didn't really bleed much but he does have a little cut. He got to pick out a fancy bandaid (he picked a some kind of monster thing) and that seemed to help a lot. He looks kind of cute with it on his chin. He won't let me do Reiki on him though, he thinks it will hurt for some reason. I'll have to try again tonight while he's sleeping although last time I tried that he woke up and accused me of doing "sneaky Reiki" on him.

Well, I'm off to spend some quality time with my empty ice cream bucket! Pray for MoJo........

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Pickle juice

Today Joseph and I stopped at Nelson Brothers for a donut after therapy. I noticed that they had a gaint jar of pickles sitting on the counter. Actually, it was about 3 pickels and about 2 gallons of juice. Casually (at least as casually as one can ask such a bizzare question) I asked the girl behind the counter what they did with the juice when they were done with the pickels. "Oh" she replied "We dump it out."

I stood there for a second wondering a) what must this person be thinking b) what had compeled me to ask something like that and c) how could I proceed with this conversation. After a moment of akward silence the girl raised an eyebrow and said "Why do you ask?"

Because I didn't want to her to think that I wanted the juice so that I could do something strange like bathe in it right there at that moment I cheerily replied "Because I want to drink it!"

As you go through life you will find that few situations are as uncomfortable as announcing to a perfect stranger that you would like to guzzle left-over pickle juice. Even Joseph was emberassed for me. I hastily explained that I was pregnant and it was just an odd craving. Little did she know that I have always liked pickle juice but I do blame the pregnancy for my asking this woman if I could drink what is essentialy trash from a deli.

After the woman laughed for a minute she very nicely scooped some into a coffee cup for me so that I could take it home. It's in the fridge chilling right now because as every true pickle juice lover knows it is much better when served cold.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Chili dogs is good medicine!

I am feeling so much better today than I was yesterday. I was feeling a little queasy when I woke up but that went away pretty quickly and I was able to eat. (Turkey jerky from the St Joe Meat Market, the breakfast of champions!)

Lat night I did a bunch of Reiki on Jesse. I worked on his lower back and his leg. He has some problem in his lower back that makes his right leg tingle sometimes. I think it's nerve related. Then I worked on his gross hand bump/growth thing. (shudder) It is my fondest hope that that thing goes away today and I won't have to work on it again. I swear I felt it moving when I had my hand on it last night.

I had my first baby dream last night. The baby was a boy and he had brown hair and very fat legs. He could also talk and roll over when he was just born so take from that what you will. Also in my dream the hospital was closed when I gave birth so I had to go to a gym instead. They gave me a fouton though so that was nice. The nuses also told me I could have all the chili dogs and Cherry Dr Pepper (is that even real?) that I wanted. Oh man, a chili dog sounds good right now....

Monday, April 11, 2005

Week 13

I forgot to mention earlier that I am 13 weeks along today. This is the average time when morning sickness ends. Of course every person I talk to continues to tell me horror stories about their brother's friend's uncle's mother who had morning sickness for 46 weeks and lost 75 pounds. So, I guess it could be worse.

Timothy (the Reiki master) told me that he thinks the baby is a boy. When I was being worked on by the class he said he felt a surge of energy in me at one point and he sahd "Oh, the little guy wok up!" When I asked him why he said "little guy" he said he just had a sense that the baby is a boy. I told him I thought so too so now I'll be very curious to see what the ultrasound shows at 20 weeks.

Why don't I have any raw cookie dough in my house?

Jen and Joseph, Reiki healing team

This weekend I got my Reiki level1 certification. I've been trying to work on myself today but without much success. I guess it takes practice. Mom has also done a few distance healings on me today to help with the morning sickness. I think it must be working because I felt my stomache growl a few minutes ago. (Eating would be nice!) I was also able to have a really nice, restful nap and that's sometimes hard for me to do. My headache also went away.

When I was at the Reiki class the Reiki master Timothy also did a power transfer for Joseph. That night Joseph did Reiki for the baby for a good two minutes. It was very sweet. He also worked in my head for about 15 seconds this morning. He's mostly just interested in doing Reiki for the baby. He also told me he wanted to use it to heal his friends at school if they get hurt. He's such a special little boy.

Today he brought home a picture that he had done at school. He pressed it on my tummy and said "For the babester, with love from my heart." He almost makes me cry sometimes.

I am going to do some more Reiki work on myself tonight. I'm also going to try to do some on Joseph after he falls asleep. Timothy showed me a good position to try on Joseph to help him with some of his issues with focusing and his food aversions. I'm eager to get more practice at this so that I can try doing some work on other people too.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Joseph news

Food therapy was so awesome today. He's been in a bit of an eating slump the last few weeks. He's not wanting to eat a lot of even the foods that he normall likes. Well, today at FT he ate so much! More than I have seen him at at one time in a couple of weeks I think. He had juice, apple sauce with pears, half a breaded beef pattie (he thought it was chicken nuggets and we didn't correct him!) and ...... drumroll please ...... about half a baby carrot! He just picked it up and bit into it like it was nothing. You could tell he wasn't crazy about the texture because he kept rubbing his nose while he ate it and then rubbing his throat when he swallowed it. But he did it! He really liked the crunching sound that it made. I think the only reason he stopped eating is because he was so full. He had some apple sauce and juice left and I know those are things he likes so I think if he had been hungrier he had eaten even more of the carrot. I was so proud of him today! Who knew you could feel so good over your kid eating a carrot?

Thursday, April 07, 2005

The Final Four

The final four round of Disney Villain March Madness is going on right now! Check it out!

Wait a second! How did Shan Yu beat out Ursula? Foul I say! At least Clayton is no longer in the running. He was only around for so long because he was up against some weak competitors. I'm stikcing with Frollo now because that guy is bad news. He tried to throw a baby down a well, he was cruel to poor Quasi, he tried to kill Demi Moore and tore of part of Norte Dame with his bare hands in order to squish some ants.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Sometimes In April

HBO has a new movie called Sometimes In April that they are playing a lot right now. If you have HBO you should really try to catch it. Be prepared, it's very tough to watch. It's about the tribal conflicts that resulted in mass genocide in Rawanda in 1994. It's kind of amazing that something like that was happening and people outside of the country really didn't know about it. It's pretty scary. Actually, what's really scary is that stuff like this is still going on today in parts of the world. Here is an interesting chart that shows some places that this kind of thing is still happening in: http://www.genocidewatch.org/genocidetable2003.htm I don't know, it was kind of hard for me to get to sleep last night.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Another Joseph post

Hi! I want to watch Scooby Doo. I was the pass napkiner at school today. (mommy's note- He means it was his job to pass out napkins at snack time.) I like gym. I like snack time. I had pop tarts for a snack. I like to bring my books to school and you can never stop me. Everybody is my friend and we have a new child at school. Her name is Kimberly. She goes in the time out room all the time because she is not a good listener and she does not like to share toys and she spit and that's all. Love, Joseph

That's just gross

I was throwing up this morning so I took on of the world's most expensive pills. My hope was that I could keep it down long enough for it to work. No such luck. After about 10 minutes it came up along with the teaspoon full of water I had taken it with. I could see it there in the bowl. I thought for a long time about washing it off and trying again. I reached in to pick it up but it fell apart. Dang. I couldn't take another one either because I wasn't sure if any of the medicene from the first one made it into my system and I didn't want to take the wrong dosage. Anyway, some of it must have stuck with me because I stopped throwing up and I was able to eat a couple of crackers. Right now I figure if I can drink 2 out of 3 days and eat one of those two days them I'm doing ok.

Yesterday I found out about a really cool program that we can use with Joseph. The county (I think) has something called Arise where someone who is specially trained in working with kids with special needs can be assigned to go with Joseph to things like swimming lessons or t-ball. They can be right on the ball field with him helping him keep on focus instead of picking up rocks or trying to play Scooby Doo. If need be they can even run around the bases with him if he needs that much direction. At swimming lessons they would get right in the water and provide him with non-stop one on one direction to make sure he's staying on task. Really you can have someone come to any activity that your kids are involved in if they need some extra direction. All you need to qualify is that your child has to have an IEP, which of course Joseph has. It's all free to us too. Of course we have to pay for whatever activity we sign him up for but the Arie service is free. I'm really excited to try it out. Waite Park has some summer sports for really young kids that we might sign Joseph up for. We could have done some last year but I thought there was no way we could get him to pay attention well enough. This just might work out for him!

Monday, April 04, 2005

Yipee!

I am exactly 12 weeks along today. (Next week I'll be starting the secnd trimester!) At 12 weeks the baby stops using it's yolk sac and starts getting what it needs from the placenta. The baby is about 2 1/2 inches long and weighs about 1/2 ounce. The arms and legs start move but you can't feel it until 16-20 weeks. Finger and toe nails are starting to grow. The heart is complete and functioning and the stomach is formed and linked to the mouth and intestines. The sexual organs are beginning to form but can't yet be seen on an ultra sound. I am endlessly fascinated by all this stuff. I llok forward to each new week because I can read up on how the baby is developing and see pictures of how it looks in my baby books.

I found out that I won't have to get blood drawn today because they did it when I was at the hospital and my doctor just checked those and my blood sugar is normal. Glad for that!

My pants have stopped fitting. I have to loop a rubber band through the button hole and around the button or else they're just a little too tight. I have already given in and bought a couple of maternity shirts but I'm holding off on buying pants for as long as I can. (Oh, I did buy one pair but they're actually a bit too big for me right now. ....... although, maybe not. I haven't tried them on since I bought them and I have grown since then.) Anyway, I don't like most maternity pants, they look dopey to me.

Speaking of dopey clothes, if anyone at any point in my pregnancy sees me wearing a shirt that says something like "Baby on board!" or "Guess what's cooking!" or anything with an arrow pointing to the tummy and a "cute" saying on it go ahead and assume I've lost my mind and need to be medicated.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Just shoot me now

I spent another day at the hospital getting IV fluids and medication because I haven't been able to eat or drink the last fews days and I've been throwing up a lot. On top of that I have a little bit of a stomach bug so nothing's staying with me for very long. It was a fun time all around but one moment in particular stands out in my memory.

I'm laying in the bed feeling like I've been run over by a bus and the best looking male nurse I have ever seen comes into the room to start my IV. As he's doing that the doctor comes in and he's even better looking than the nurse. So I'm laying on this bed sans make-up, contact lenses or even a recent shower and I've got these two very attractive guys watching me and I've got to say things like "I couldn't take my suppositories because I have diarrhea!". I could have crawled into a hole and died.

Anyway, before I had even come to the hospital I had called my doctor and she said that with they symptoms I had they would probably want to admit me overnight. She even said that she was on call the next day so would come by and check on me. Ok, since my doctor is telling me thins I put some weight on it. At the emrgency room they pretty much brushed off that idea right away. After giving me three bags of fluid I peed about an ounce. They gave me half a sandwich and after eating it I felt like crap. Then they pretty much said "Ok, go home now." I was a little suprised since I didn't actually seem to be feeling any better than when I came in. I expressed this concern and was met with a chorus of "Oh, this happens all the time to pregnant women all the time! We see it all the time! This is no big deal!" When I tried to explain that this has never happened to me and I'm just trying to be cautious since my regular doctor thought I would probably need to be admitted the doctor pretty much walked out of the room mid-sentance. I was pretty frustrated since all I really wanted was for someone to explain why it was ok for me to go home now since I felt exactly the same as I did when I got there. Again I tried explaining that I didn't want to go home only to have to come back the next day if I was still sick. I think to shut me up they gave me a perscription for the most expensive pills in the history of the world!

So now I'm home, feeling crappy even with the help of a $10 pill. (That's after insurance!) I'm pretty annoyed by the whole thing. I'm ok with beign sent home but it would have been nice if someone had taken the time to explain things to me instead of just blowing me off. I know morning sickness happens a lot and know a lot of women have to have fludis put in so I should just shut up and deal with it but it's easier said than done when I'm spending the third day in a row hunched over my sick-bowl throwing up that half a cracker I ate.

Anyway, on the good side they brought in a fetal heartbeat monitor at one point and I got to heat the baby's heartbeat again. Jesse and Joseph were in the room so they got to hear it too. That was pretty cool for all of us. It's all good.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Strange things people say

I recently read that 4% of couples who adopt their first child will go on to have another child by birth. The vast majority of those people adopt because they are unable to concieve a child. Only a very tiny % of couples who adopt their first child do so for reasons other than fertility problems and then go on to have a child by birth.

My point? I realize that I am in a somewhat unusual situation and that it makes some people curious. What has shocked me is the amount of people who feel free to ask bizzare, personal and sometimes downright rude questions about our family and how we chose to build it. It ranges from the somewhat rude - "Did you adopt the first time because you didn't think you could have a child and now you can?" to the abusurdly out of line - "Are you sorry you adopted now that you are pregnant?" to the truly bizzare - "I heard that adopting a child can make you more fertile. Is that why you did it?"

It's not just the questions, it's the strange comments that people make. "I bet you're excited to have a child of your own coming!" "I have three grandchildren and then two more of those adopted ones too!" "Now you'll get to see what it's like to really have a baby!"

No matter how many times I hear these things I am shocked. Thank goodness most people are "tactful" enough to not say that kind of stuff in front of Joseph. Most lean in and try to whisper it to me like we're sharing some kind of secret while my son (my real child, my first child) is occupied elsewhere. Most people, not all.

Here's the really wierd thing though. All kinds of people say this stuff. Normal, intelligent looking people can ask and say the stupidest things. Most of them say only strange or midly rude things but there are a few real freaks out there. I'm going to have to come up with something good to say to those people.

I know from experiance that people ask all kinds of strange things when they find out you have adopted a child. I have also heard that people thing being pregnant means you will answer wahtever personal questions they have for you. I'm just kind of shocked at how the two are coming together.

But this has been a lot heavier than I meant it to be. I guess the trick is finding a way to laugh at those people.