Monday, November 28, 2011

Randomness - The LA edition

Is there anything more decedent than room service?  You look at a menu and choose whatever you want to eat and then magically, after a quick phone call it shows up in your room and you can eat it while you sit on your bed and watch a marathon of Deadliest Catch.

Have I mentioned that I am in LA?  Probably not since I haven't blogged in over two weeks.  Eek.  Retroactive blogging guilt!

Saturday morning I had an embryo transfer.  Attempt #2 at surrogacy #3 has begun.  I'm going to be here till Wednesday taking it super easy and resting and relaxing and clenching and hoping like the dickens that this one takes.  I feel like our odds are pretty good so.... we'll see I guess.

I have gone into serious take-it-easy mode.  After I eat my room service I stare at my tray with resentment thinking how big of a job it will be to take it over to the door.  Why must post-room service clean up be such a big job?

Today is my husband's birthday.  I feel bad that I'm not home to do something nice for him.  I would have grilled him a nice steak or something.  Although really he does all the grilling at our house so he probably would have had to grill his own steak.  Which I guess he can do even without me there.  So I guess me not being there really doesn't change anything.

Before I got here I was really looking forward to a few days rest and relaxation.  Now that I'm here I have to say that I am SO BORED.  I've been reading a ton, spending a lot of time on pinterest, playing some facebook games and watching a bunch of reruns of Pawn Stars (most depressing show ever).  It was fun at first but now I'm going a little stir crazy.  I wish I could do a load of dishes or brush Elle's hair or listen to one of Joseph's long stories about video games or play with my camera or can a batch of tomato sauce or bake some cookies or do anything outside of this hotel room.  But... my IPs want me on aggressive bedrest so I'm resting.  And slowly losing my mind.

Oh!  Hoarders is on!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Overheard from the backseat of my car

Joseph's friend: "Joseph, you have Aspergers right?"
Joseph: "Right.  And you have Tourette's System*?"
Joseph's friend: "Yeah." *long pause* "That's probably why we're such good friends."
Joseph: "Because we understand each other."


*He really called it "Tourette's System.  He's too cute.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

The visitors

I had some visitors this past weekend.  I watched thme run around the house and take toys off the shelf and scream at each othrt and laugh at each other and eat bowls of applesauce and then run around some more.  I stared at them and wondered "How were you both ever so small that you fit in my tummy?"

The surro-twins, they're not tiny babies any more.  They're little people with gigantic personalities.  I spent most of the weekend just watching them and enjoying being around them.  The time I spent with them was about the only time in the past two weeks I haven't had a pounding, burning lupron-induced headache.  Maybe because they were a nice reminder that everything I'm going through is for a reason and when it's all done and we're (please, oh please) successful there will be another little bit (or two) of magic in the world.

There's The Boy who laughs at everything and will let you hold him (even if you're pretty much a stranger to him) as long as he's eating chicken fingers.
There's The Girl who's a little more serious and hard to impress.  Once you make her smile though you feel like you've won something.
The Boy doesn't want to stop and look at what's in front of him, not when there's something even more interesting across the room.
The Girl is a little more deliberate.  Once she knows what she wants she's determined to go after it.
When you give them a present they might think it's hilarious to try to drop it in the toilet.
And when they nap they put their little heads together.

Yup, I did a good job.  Now their daddies are doing a good job.  I can't even explain to you how much it filled my heart up to see the babies and see how well they're doing.  The timing of their visit was perfect too.  I needed a reminder that at the end of all the shots and the ultrasounds and the headaches and the procedures and the pills....
Something wonderful happens.

One year ago today Jesse's credit card was stolen for a stupid reason.
Two years ago people were rude by proxy.
Four years ago today Elle wanted an itchy potty.
Five years ago today Joseph wanted Jesse to take ED medication.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Lupron Blues

So I don't know if I've mentioned this or not (and I'm too lazy to go back and check) but I am preparing for another embryo transfer.  This will be my second attempt with this new couple and for various reasons I'm feeling a lot more optimistic than I was the last time around.  As it stands right now it looks like I should be transferring sometime right around, or even on, Thanksgiving Day.

In preparation for the IVF cycle I have been on a drug called Lupron.  I have to give myself an injection of it in my belly every day.  Luckily there is plenty of padding and the shots really don't even hurt that much.  Usually Elle picks out the spot where I should do the injection then the counts down for me to jab myself. It's a family affair.

Lupron is a hell of a drug.  Here's me normally - "Hello!  I enjoy things that are pleasant!  Chocolate is good!"  Here's me on Lupron - "I have had a headache since last Tuesday.  I swear to god that whatever it is you're doing right now you're only doing to piss me off.  If you don't stop breathing so loud I am going to rip your face off.  WHY DON'T WE HAVE ANY CHOCOLATE IN THIS HOUSE!??!?!?!"

The kids call Lupron my "crabby shots" and it's a pretty well deserved nickname.  I try really hard not to take it out on them and most of the time I'm pretty successful (poor Jesse gets the worst of it) but I guess sometimes I fail.  We were in Goodwill the other day looking for some finishing touches for Halloween costumes and Elle was just not listening at all.  When we were standing in line she kept whining and begging for me to please buy her some chocolate eyeballs that looked like they were about 47 years old, please buy the eyeballs, why won't you buy the eyeballs, I NEED the eyeballs, I never get any eyeballs, these are the best eyeballs ever, I will cry if I don't get these eyeballs.  Joseph started shoving himself between me and Elle and trying to whisper something to her.  She couldn't hear over the sound of her own whining so finally he yelled "Watch out Elle!  Don't make Mommy mad!  You know she's crabby when she's on her Lupron!"  We got some looks.

But in spite of having had a constant throbbing headache for the past week and having my asshole dial turned up to 11 things are pretty good. Halloween was fun.  The kids were adorable.  Please stand by for photographic proof in 3 .... 2.... 1....

In case you can't tell they went as Doctor Elle and Plants vs Zombie zombie Joseph.  And didn't they do a nice job when I said "Look at me you guys!"?

Oh yeah!  I also became famous on facebook for like three seconds when I posted a picture from the Anoka Halloween parade.  But that's a story for another day.  For now I have to go eat my weight in Nutella.

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Little Elle on the Prairie

You may recall that several weeks ago Elle and I took a little road trip to see some historical Laura Ingalls related history.  It was a joy to spend those days with just Elle.  She was funny and sweet did the most adorable things.  She also broke something in pretty much every location we went to.  By the end of the trip I was calling her Hurricane Elle because it turns out that girlfriend has a serious case of the klutz.

So join me if you will on a pictorial journey down memory lane as I tell the story of that time Elle and I drove to South Dakota and then back again.

The trip began as so many in American history have - in a covered wagon. 

Actually, that's not true.  The trip really began in my car which we had packed to the gills with cheese sandwiches (remember how excited she was about the cheese sandwiches?  Maybe not, I might have mentioned it on facebook) hard boiled eggs, activity books, Barbies and changes of clothes for one very picky little dresser.

The first stop on the trip was the Laura Ingalls museum in Walnut Grove, MN.  Laura and her family lived here for a time but the town is mostly known for being the setting of the odd and inaccurate tv series based on the books.  In turn the museum is really more about the show than it is about the real Laura Ingalls.  Here Elle stands with the real fireplace used in the show.  I think that's what it was.  It's hard to get a close look at things when you're touring with a five year old who cares less about what she's seeing than she does about what else she can see.
There were lots of other exhibits that Elle really enjoyed as well.  It's a pretty neat little museum with lots of hands on stuff for kids so if you have a kid into pioneer stuff this would be a good place to go.  They had a little church with an organ you could play.  Elle really liked that.
 They also had some old fashioned toys you could play with.  This was another big hit with Elle.  I guess playing with dominoes makes her look like she's 12.  Odd.
I forced Elle to try on these pioneer clothes.  She looked so cute that this older lady who was in the museum started kind of ... following us around and wouldn't stop talking to us.  We finally had to go into another building in order to lose her.
 Then there was this odd military exhibit. I guess to highlight Laura's military career?  Elle did not enjoy trying on this helmet but I made her do it anyway.  Can you tell that the thing weighed about as much as she did?
 Next up was a jail cell.  Always good for a laugh.

The next exhibit was a pioneer dugout house.  Elle was fascinated with the bed made of rope and furs.  As someone who has an unnatural fear of bedbugs I was pretty much horrified when she insisted on trying it out.  Yuck.  The good news is that she seemed to come out relatively infestation free. 
Then it was time for a quick phone call.  Just because you're exploring the prairie doesn't mean you can't use modern technology.
 After that was a visit to the school house.
We walked though this big area of weed and overgrown grass to get to this fiberglass horse.  I don't know why Elle looks like she hasn't brushed her hair in a week.  Pioneers didn't have hair brushes either.  I think.
Elle's favorite part of this museum was the outhouse exhibit.  This sign made us laugh and laugh and laugh.  For the rest of the trip Elle kept asking if she could poop in whatever exhibit we happened to be in at the time.
We drove all the way to Walnut Grove to play with some old toys.  I told Elle my grandparents used to have that same toy barn when I was a kid. This led her to believe that I had been a pioneer.  Not pictured, this stuffed goat that you could squeeze and then it would yodel.  We only did that about a million times.  We only stopped because the old lady who had been following us before caught up to us and we had to move on again.
This little area where you could pretend to be a pioneer grocer was Elle's favorite part of the whole museum.  We spent a REALLY long time here buying butter and canned goods from each other.  I have to admit that Elle is the one that finally put an end to this game.  (What?  It was fun!)  Not pictured here is the large glass front of this counter.  Moments after I took this picture Elle ripped the entire thing off.  I don't know how she managed it but somehow with her puny bare hands she pulled the glass front and wooden frame off.  There was no one else in the building at the time but I looked around and there were security cameras.  Maybe somewhere there exists film of me frantically shoving the thing back together while Elle happily rings up another order of butter and eggs.
The last stop on this tour was the old post office.  Museum karma caught up with Elle and as we were leaving this area she tripped and when stumbling across the room and crashed into a wooden telephone booth.  I almost laughed because it looked so damned funny but then I heard a pathetic little moan from inside the booth.  Elle, being the drama girl that she is, started to cry as soon as I got over to her so I used the phone to call the pioneer doctor.  That made her laugh and then she wanted to call the pioneer doctor too.  When she hung up the phone the receiver snapped off.  In her defense the receiver had been duct tapped on so I don't really think she can take the blame here but cripes.  It was clearly time for us to leave.
Stay tuned for the next installment where we visit Plum Creek and Elle manages to break something else.  That's right, my baby broke something at a creek.

Three years ago today I had a conversation with the neighborhood brat.
Six years ago today I was OMG, boring.