Monday, November 09, 2009

Why would you even tell me that?

I've noticed something odd lately. While most people I know are supportive of me being a surrogate some of them are not shy about telling me about people they know who don't think it's such a great idea.

In the past few months I've had several people tell me things like:

"My neighbor doesn't understand how you can use your body that way. She thinks it's just like being a prostitute."
"My co-worker's sister thinks it's wrong to get paid for what you're doing. She thinks you're doing this for the wrong reason.
"My brother-in-law said he thinks you're damaging your kids by doing this."
"My friend doesn't understand how your husband can let you do something like this."
"My uncle's girlfriend thinks what you're doing is really unnatural."

You know, it's not that it bothers me that someone's friend's uncle's co-worker thinks I'm a baby selling whore who's psychologically scarring my children but come one! Why would you tell me that stuff? What reaction do you want from me?

Want me to acknowledge that not everyone approves of what I do? I get that, I do.

Want me to smile politely as you insult my life choices by proxy? Sorry, I'm not that passive.

Want me to say something nasty in return? Maybe say your neighbor can suck it? Sorry, I'm not that aggressive.

Want me to think that you've got your own unkind thoughts about my choices but you want to blame some anonymous person for your opinion rather than claim it as your own? Because that's pretty much where I'm at.

I don't look for or expect unanimous approval for what I do. I know I'll never get that. But is it too much to ask that I not have to hear about the disapproval of people I don't even know?

Two years ago today Elle wanted an itchy potty.
Three years ago today Joseph saw a commercial for an ED medication.


shyestviolet said...

it's a good thing you warned me, because I was about to tell you the lady I met at the grocery store thinks you're damaging the babies inside you with your unholy support of the 'gay agenda.' but I'll keep that to myself.

Anonymous said...

Hey there...don't worry about what other people think, my experience is that they really don't do too much of that anyway. Cuz, if they did, they'd keep it to themselves!!Just forgive them for they don't know what they are doing anyway.... You are doing a wonderful thing for loving people, who will cherish those babies forever...what a super fantastic job!! I wish I was young enough to do it!! Love you!! Your MIL

Emily said...

My co-workers babysitter's garbage man's nephew thinks it is completely admirable, wonderful and beautiful!

Torina said...

I think it is totally awesome. Different, yes...but really amazing.

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

I can't imagine doing what you're doing. What you're giving--such a wonderful gift. So amazing.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful EMILY.

dancing_lemur said...

I think that I would just look at these people and say, "Really? I'm SO glad you told me...I've been wondering what s/he thought."

Anonymous said...

Its awesome and you should be compensated for it!