This is how I know we'll be together forever

This past weekend we visited a house that had a cat.  When we got to the house Elle suddenly got nervous.  As we approached the door she paused and said worriedly "Does the kitty have claws?"

Instead of answering her Jesse and I both said (at the exact same second) "Do the chickens have large talons?"

He's pretty much my favorite husband ever.

One year ago today I lathered up.
Three years ago today Joseph wondered about his birth mother.

Randomosity

I am giving away a breast pump. If you would like to win it you can enter here.

Today Elle and I went to the hardware store to buy telephone wire. We couldn't find what we were looking for but we did find a blueberry bush. When Elle saw it her eyes lit up and she squealed with joy. Now we own a blueberry bush.

Jesse gives me my hormone shots and we have discovered that there is no way to talk about it without it sounding really dirty. "Stick it in fast and make sure it's in all the way."

If you are in the mood for having your heart smashed into a million pieces then watch the movie Dear Zachary. It's an amazing documentary and so very, very well done. I watched it on Friday and I am still recovering from it today.

Coach on Survivor might be the most delusional person I have ever seen on reality tv. I always wonder if he really believes the stuff he's telling people. He can't really believe that a tribe of Amazons really wanted to eat his butt, can he? Because if he does he is the only person in the entire world who believes that.

We have decided to take the lazy approach to our garden. We're slapping a fence around it and calling it a day. Maybe next year we'll be organized enough for raised beds but this year we're going to see how well our vegetables do when we are total slackers.

Joseph has lost another of his top teeth. The entire top front of his mouth is empty except for one front tooth that's coming in. I don't know how me manages to eat anything. He sure does have a crazy cute smile now though.

Tomorrow I am joining a gym. Look forward to my update in two weeks where I quit a gym. I am afraid. Very, very afraid.

Two years ago I had the most beautiful daughter. I still do of course.
Four years ago today I had problems with eye jelly.

Random musings 47

I saw Sex and the City the other night. I know that I swore I wouldn't see it but I did. Still love Charlotte and and Samantha. Still kind of "meh" on Miranda. Still hate Carrie and Big. The movie wasn't awful but it's kind of hard to get too terribly into the story when every time you see the main character you think "I hope you choke on your $500 shoes, horse-face". You know what's really great though? Seeing a movie with graphic sex scenes with your Grandma. Awkward!

I can't believe I forgot "Oh fer cute!" in my Speaking Minnesotan post. (Thank you!) I think I just hear it so much that I kind of forget that everyone doesn't say it. I admit though that I do prefer "Oh fer gross!" And "hot dish". How could I forget "hot dish"? Hot dish is what you non-Minnesotans call casserole. That's one thing I refuse to give in on. I'm sorry but it just sounds so stupid to me. If anyone ever hears me say "hot dish" please slap me. I've already given in an stared referring to soda as pop. Isn't that enough?

One time in middle school I bought this t-shirt that had the names of every lake in Minnesota on it. (Why did people think I was such a dork?) I wore it proudly until the twelfth person asked me "Is that the name of every person in Minnesota?" Then I wore it ashamedly.

How do you feel when a blogger you really like likes a blogger that you just cannot stand? Do you ever want to leave a comment for them saying "It's either her or me! I DEMAND THAT YOU CHOSE!" or is that just me? It's probably just me. No one else is that neurotic.

I already twittered this but I'm going to go ahead and say it here too. The other day I said to Jesse "You're never romantic anymore!" and he said "What? Did you want to have sex last night or something?" Yeah. Because that's what I meant. Meathead.

76 days until we leave for Disney World. All of the sudden it seems like it's coming up fast. I better start packing. One thing I'll need to pack? Diapers. Potty training is not going well. For a couple of days we had a little success and now nothing. Maybe I should leave Elle with my mom for the weekend to see what she can do with her. Although, if I don't learn how to do it now then how will I someday potty train my own grandchildren?

Well, that's enough stupidity for now I guess.

The horror

I guess I can't watch my kids watch Nickelodeon anymore. If I do I risk seeing one of their new ads about how they're going to be playing ET coming on some date coming soon but I can't even pay attention because I'm too busy silently screaming in terror.

Some people think ET is "lovable" or "cute". I think he's "the stuff nightmares are made of". My parents tell me that after I saw ET (as a wee tyke of 5) I cried all the way out of the theater. They probably thought that was because I was sad ET went home. They were wrong. I was crying because I knew that creepy, bug-eyed little monster was going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

For the past 26 years I have lived with the fear that ET is hiding under my bed. Yes, I still have that fear today. I'm convinced that if I leave any part of my body hanging over or off the bed at night ET will reach up and touch me with his glowing finger. And if I look to see what touched me he'll be right there, inches away from me, staring at me with his big, googly eyes.

Now I've freaked myself out so much that I had to check and make sure he wasn't under the desk while I was typing this. I can't be the only person who finds ET scary can I? Come on, someone else admit it. Or at the very least tell me something else that you're afraid of that everyone else considers cute and non-threatening.

Now with 97% more randomness

A snowplow just drove by our house at about 90 miles an hour. Yes, a snowplow. Because it's snowing out today. Why do I live in this effing state anyway?

When I took Joseph to see "Horton Hears a Who" I actually got weepy as all the Whos were chanting "We! Are! Here!". What the hell is wrong with me? Who does that? It's a good movie though so you should go see it. Let my know if you cried during that scene so that I won't feel so alone and pathetic in my weepyosity.

Guess what I made for dinner the other night!
Joseph said: I hate yolky!
Elle said: I love pinnochi!

The drug dealers across the street had one of their cars repossessed last week. I guess if you're going to have drug dealers living across the street from you I guess it's probably best to have ones that have not been able to achieve a lot of financial success. Because they're not very good drug dealers. I'm trying to look at this positively ok?

I miss my Sucks Sucks gang. Where my bitches at?

This morning I weighed myself immediately before and immediately after going to the bathroom. I weighed more after I went to the bathroom. That doesn't seem possible.

Here's a message board icon avatar I really like but will never have an occasion to use:

That's all for today.

No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men is the movie you should be seeing instead of wasting your time and money on another boring (Vantage Point), predictable (Vantage Point!) and cliche (VANTAGE POINT!) action movie.

Don't worry, because I actually liked this movie I won't be spoiling it at all for anyone who hasn't seen it. I will say this though: This movie really took me by surprise. I was often caught of guard by what happened and sometimes by what didn't happen. Jesse saw this with some friends of his and they complained that the pacing was too slow. I disagree. I felt like the slower pace added to the tension. The movie had some downright creepy scenes where, strange as it sounds, almost nothing happened.

Don't go see No Country if you're looking for a big, happy Hollywood ending where everything gets neatly wrapped up and explained. You won't find it in this movie. What you will find is a good story, great acting (I was even impressed by Tommy Lee Jones who I don't usually like) and lots of unexpected twists. I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes a movie that makes you think, who doesn't mind a little gore and who can sit through scenes that move a little slowly. Unlike Jesse's friends.

If you've seen this movie leave me a comment letting me know what you thought of it.

Don't waste your time on Vantage Point

The title pretty much sums it up. Don't bother with Vantage Point. There, I just saved you the $12 you could have spent seeing it. As a thank you you may purchase something for me off of my Amazon.com wishlist.

Anyway, Vantage Point. It's one of those movies that when it was over I sat there for a second and thought "Wow, that was kind of stupid" but a few days later my hatred for the movie has grown and every time I think about it I want to shake my fists and scream "Damn you Vantage Point!"

I thought it was going to be a cool who-done-it with lots of unexpected twists. It wasn't. I had the conclusion figured out about 10 minutes into the movie. All that was left to do was sit back and watch the indestructible hero of the movie run around and get into car accidents that would kill anyone else but somehow leave him with only a rugged looking scratch on his cheek. Also his handgun held 200 bullets.

When Jesse and I went to see the movie there was a couple there that we know and they said they liked the movie. Take that for what it's worth though because they're stupid. So maybe if you're stupid you'll like this movie. If you've got a brain in your head you won't enjoy this movie at all and you'll leave the theater thinking "Oh yeah, right. These people have a huge plot to kill the president and they kill goodness knows how many people in order to pull it off but then the whole plot gets foiled when the bad guy swerves to avoid hitting a little girl standing in the road even though he already almost killed her in the beginning of the movie by setting off a massive bomb right where she was? And what was with the president and his bodyguard looking like they were going to make out there at the end? Stupid!" At least that's what I was thinking.

Save your money or go see No Country for Old Men instead.

Babies love R-rated movies

Yesterday Elle was playing with the tv remote control and somehow managed to purchase a pay-per-view movie. Add this to the list of things I never thought I would have to say as a parent: "No Elle! No buying Aeon Flux for $4.95! No bad Charlize Theron movies! The reviews are very bad Elle, very bad!"

My advice

My advice to you is to never see a movie with me. I must have some bad movie going karma or something. No matter what movie I go see it always works out that the most obnoxious people in the entire theater end up sitting right by me. I must give off some kind of scent that attracts idiots or something.

Jesse, Joseph and I went to see Barnyard today (thumbs down by the way) and right behind me was a guy I will refer to as The Pointlessly Loud Laugher. He laughed at everything. A shot of an empty field? HAHAHAHAHA! A man walking? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! A dead cow? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And I won't even mention that the guy's wife and daughter seemed totally unable to control the volume of their voices and that when they walked in they spilled popcorn on my head and that when they got up to go to the bathroom the used the back of my chair to pull themselves up and that after the movie was over I went to use the bathroom and the mother and daughter were in there in the two stalls furthest away from each other and they were yelling to each other about how the popcorn they ate gave them such bad gas. Not that I'm bitter.

This happens to me every damn time I see a movie. What is it about me? What did I do to deserve this? How can I rid myself of this curse? I am not making this up! If you've been to a movie with me then post a comment telling people about what rotten luck I have at movies. Let people know how sad my life is and how they should buy me things off my wish list.

My little guy

I had a date with my best little guy yesterday. Joseph and I went to see Doogal. It'a really wierd movie. The story is wierd, the characters are weird, the anamation is weird. There is a farting moose though so Joseph was happy anyway. The important thing was to spend some one on one time with Joseph anyway so that was good. He kept saying "I love you!" and "I like you!" and "I'm happy we're seeing a movie". It was cute.

On Saturday some of Jesse's friends from high school were in town and we stopped in to see them at their hotel. When we got there Joseph sat down at this table that had an ashtray sitting on it. He wrinkled up his nose and loudly said "Can someone move these cigarettes away from me?". After it had been moved he still stared at it for a while and finally asked "Who smoked those?" When the smoker fessed up Joseph turned to him and in the most serious voice possible said "Hey man, smoking's not cool." Everyone at the table burst out laughing, it was just too funny not too even though he was being very serious about the whole thing.

Elle's second tooth is just a day or two away from coming in. I can feel it under her gums. She's growing up so fast! Yesterday I gave her a tiny taste of apple sauce. She looked shocked and then offended and then happy ...... because she spit it out. We'll try again later, no reason to rush things. She loves rice cereal though. She gets some every day at lunch and she just gobbles it down. My baby's all about the eating!

Sometimes In April

HBO has a new movie called Sometimes In April that they are playing a lot right now. If you have HBO you should really try to catch it. Be prepared, it's very tough to watch. It's about the tribal conflicts that resulted in mass genocide in Rawanda in 1994. It's kind of amazing that something like that was happening and people outside of the country really didn't know about it. It's pretty scary. Actually, what's really scary is that stuff like this is still going on today in parts of the world. Here is an interesting chart that shows some places that this kind of thing is still happening in: http://www.genocidewatch.org/genocidetable2003.htm I don't know, it was kind of hard for me to get to sleep last night.