This is why I am boring

I haven't had much to say lately for three reasons.

1. My life is uneventful.
2. For the past week I have had the headache from hell and it hurts me to look at the computer screen.
3. I am busy gardening and preserving food. In the past 10 days I have made pickeled rhubarb, pickled cherries, blueberry jam, strawberry rhubarb jam, dried cherries, banana chips, dried kiwi slices, strawberry rhubarb fruit leather, dried banana peppers, rhubarb barbecue sauce (insanely good) and apple rhubarb chutney. I've also frozen a ton of blueberries and strawberries for use later in the year. I am having a torrid love affair with food preservation.

Other than the preservation obsession I do have two peices of news.

1. We have finally mastered potty training. It took a lot of patience and perseverance and tootsie roll bribes and spare princess panties but we did it. We rock.
2. I have started the hormone shots again to prepare for the next embryo transfer. The whole stupid lung collapse threw everything off for a tiny bit but now we're back on track. Most likely we'll be doing the transfer July 27th. Obviously I'm hopeful it works this time but I'm trying not to think about it too much one way or the other. We'll just see what happens and go from there I guess.

Now I have nothing else to share so I'm going to go outside and sing to my tomato plants.

Two years ago today I posted a failproof pregnancy test.

Potty training is going to kill me

I don't know how much longer I can take this whole potty training business. Every time Elle has a wet diaper there is crying, whining, yelling and stomping around. And that's just from Joseph.

For some reason Joseph has become emotionally invested in Elle's potty training success. It's only 9:30 in the morning and he's already cried twice today about Elle having wet diapers. I'm trying to remind Elle to use the potty chair and gently pointing out that she's a big girl and big girls go potty on the potty chair and not in their diapers and the entire time Joseph is waling in the background. It's added an interesting dimension to the whole thing.

I've been thinking of just letting Elle run wild and free without a diaper for while but I'm not sure that's such a good idea what with our house going on the market tomorrow. It's hard enough for me to keep the house clean without having to worry about pee puddles all over the place.

The fact is that Elle seems pretty indifferent to the whole thing. She seems happy when she manages to pee on the potty but she also seems just as happy to go in her diaper. Even my repeated reminders that "Cinderella likes it when big girls go potty on the potty chair" don't really seem to be having an effect. Princess potty training is not turning out to be the raging success I thought it would be. Sigh.

Our realtor is coming over in a little bit to take pictures of the house for the online listing so I suppose I better go make the beds (something I NEVER do) and make sure the hand towel hanging up in the bathroom matches the decor. Because that's the thing that's going to sell this house. We may live across the street from drug dealers but at least our hand towels match the rest of our bathroom decor.

Self pimpage alert! Be sure to enter my Maternity gift card giveaway! Only a couple of days left to enter. And if you have a second check out Problem Girl Eats because I've posted some really great recipes lately and I would like to share them with you.

Random musings 47

I saw Sex and the City the other night. I know that I swore I wouldn't see it but I did. Still love Charlotte and and Samantha. Still kind of "meh" on Miranda. Still hate Carrie and Big. The movie wasn't awful but it's kind of hard to get too terribly into the story when every time you see the main character you think "I hope you choke on your $500 shoes, horse-face". You know what's really great though? Seeing a movie with graphic sex scenes with your Grandma. Awkward!

I can't believe I forgot "Oh fer cute!" in my Speaking Minnesotan post. (Thank you!) I think I just hear it so much that I kind of forget that everyone doesn't say it. I admit though that I do prefer "Oh fer gross!" And "hot dish". How could I forget "hot dish"? Hot dish is what you non-Minnesotans call casserole. That's one thing I refuse to give in on. I'm sorry but it just sounds so stupid to me. If anyone ever hears me say "hot dish" please slap me. I've already given in an stared referring to soda as pop. Isn't that enough?

One time in middle school I bought this t-shirt that had the names of every lake in Minnesota on it. (Why did people think I was such a dork?) I wore it proudly until the twelfth person asked me "Is that the name of every person in Minnesota?" Then I wore it ashamedly.

How do you feel when a blogger you really like likes a blogger that you just cannot stand? Do you ever want to leave a comment for them saying "It's either her or me! I DEMAND THAT YOU CHOSE!" or is that just me? It's probably just me. No one else is that neurotic.

I already twittered this but I'm going to go ahead and say it here too. The other day I said to Jesse "You're never romantic anymore!" and he said "What? Did you want to have sex last night or something?" Yeah. Because that's what I meant. Meathead.

76 days until we leave for Disney World. All of the sudden it seems like it's coming up fast. I better start packing. One thing I'll need to pack? Diapers. Potty training is not going well. For a couple of days we had a little success and now nothing. Maybe I should leave Elle with my mom for the weekend to see what she can do with her. Although, if I don't learn how to do it now then how will I someday potty train my own grandchildren?

Well, that's enough stupidity for now I guess.

Princesses don't wear diapers!

Bribery with jelly beans hasn't worked. Promises of painted toenails hasn't worked. Asking my mom to do it hasn't worked. It's time to take drastic measures to get Elle potty trained.

She's giving me signs that she's ready but so far we're not having much luck. Or rather, any luck. So a couple of days ago I came up with a new potty training tactic that Nell would never approve of so let's just not tell her ok? (Nell has a really cute potty training story here that you should read.)

I told Elle that princesses do not wear diapers, that they go in the toilet. Then I promised her a phone call from a princess if she went potty in the toilet. She squealed with delight and chose .... um, Mickey Mouse. Not really a princess but ok, I can work with that. Then we had the following conversation:

Me: Where does Cinderella go potty?
Elle: In da toilet?
Me: Right! And where does Jasmine go potty?
Elle: In da toilet!
Me: Right! And where does Sleeping Beauty go potty?
Elle: Seeping Dooty goes potty in da toilet!
Me: That's right! Where does Ariel go potty?
Joseph: In the ocean!
Elle: In da ocean!
Me: Bad example. Where do all the other princesses go potty?
Elle: In da potty!
Joseph: Unless you're Ariel! Then you go in the ocean!
Me: Is Elle a beautiful princess?
Elle: I a beauuuuutiful princess!
Me: So where do you need to go potty?
Elle: In the toilet!
Me: Good girl!

Two minutes later.....

Elle: Uh oh! I go potty in my diaper!

The next step is to go and buy her a Disney Princess potty chair. Because of course there's such a thing. And I'll be damned if I'm taking this kid to Disney World still in diapers. That gives us nearly four months to get this potty training thing down. Can it be done? Will the pretty princess potty training method work? Probably not.

Jelly Belly Elle

I stuffed Elle full of jelly beans today. It's all part of my plan to potty train her. No, really. Stick with me here.

See, I didn't potty train Joseph. My mom did it. For a long time Joseph had no interest whatsoever in being potty trained. Then one weekend he came home from an overnighter with my parents and he was totally potty trained. I don't know how she did it but I suppose the fact that he was nearly 4 at the time didn't hurt her efforts at all.

I was glad my mom was able to potty train Joseph but at the same time there was a little part of me that thought "How come she can do it and I can't?" I mean, what kind of a mom can't potty train their own kid? And if I don't figure it out then how will I be able to potty train my granchildren when my own children come to me someday and say "I just can't do this!"?

So, come hell or high water, this one is all mine. I am going to potty train this child matter what it takes. And that's where the jelly beans come in.

First off, I'm pretty sure that Elle is ready to start trying. Lately when she poops (or pees or even toots) she comes to me with a very distressed look on her face and says "I poopy!". If I don't change her fast enough she'll start trying to take her own diaper off. So while she seems so young to be potty trained she is giving me some signs that she's ready.

Second, there's really no hurry here. I've read some things about how you can potty train your child in a weekend or a day or 6 seconds or whatever but those seem to high pressure to me. My plan is just to have Elle sit on the potty a couple of times a day and try to catch her at just the right time.

"Good god woman!" you're not doubt saying by now. "What about the jelly beans?" Well, I am not above rewarding Elle for productive potty sessions. So today I let her get a taste for them. From here on out she'll get one whenever she uses the potty. Now some things I've read say that you should never, ever bribe your child with treats when potty training. Some things say it's a-ok. I guess it's just one of those times when you have to take everything you know and then decide what seems right to you. And if you could see Elle's face when she's eating a jelly bean then you would know that this is right.

And anyway, if all else fails I have always have my mom potty train her.

Oh, and on a totally unrelated note - I will be going to a Trader Joe's for the very first time ever on Monday. Can anyone reccomend some absolute must-haves from Trader Joes? I hear they have good snacks and I want to know what to be on the look out for.