Tuesday, May 06, 2008

The horror

I guess I can't watch my kids watch Nickelodeon anymore. If I do I risk seeing one of their new ads about how they're going to be playing ET coming on some date coming soon but I can't even pay attention because I'm too busy silently screaming in terror.

Some people think ET is "lovable" or "cute". I think he's "the stuff nightmares are made of". My parents tell me that after I saw ET (as a wee tyke of 5) I cried all the way out of the theater. They probably thought that was because I was sad ET went home. They were wrong. I was crying because I knew that creepy, bug-eyed little monster was going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

For the past 26 years I have lived with the fear that ET is hiding under my bed. Yes, I still have that fear today. I'm convinced that if I leave any part of my body hanging over or off the bed at night ET will reach up and touch me with his glowing finger. And if I look to see what touched me he'll be right there, inches away from me, staring at me with his big, googly eyes.

Now I've freaked myself out so much that I had to check and make sure he wasn't under the desk while I was typing this. I can't be the only person who finds ET scary can I? Come on, someone else admit it. Or at the very least tell me something else that you're afraid of that everyone else considers cute and non-threatening.

20 comments:

nell said...

Aw, you don't like ET? I always find the really, really non-threatening children's character's creepy, like Barney, or those teletubby things, the ones that are overly eager to play with kids, but whose heads I can imagine spinning in a slow creepy circle at any moment.

Radiomom Rhetoric said...

I'm not so much wgged out by ET as I am by....are you ready for this??

Ronald McDonald.

I HATE him. To me-he looks like a freaky child molester. I am not talking about the cartoonish one--but rather the "REAL" one that shows up at events and is on TV.

I had a live broadcast--and he was there...and I was about crawling out of my skin when they wanted me to get my pic taken next to him. Grimace wasn't so bad--but that Ronald....he gave me the Heebie Jeebies.

Cathy said...

I never liked ET - it put that whole idea in my head that there are aliens and I still think about that and get freaked out.
Okay - you know what's not cute, but totally freaks me out. Poop. I refuse to pee on the toilet right after Quinn poops without first flushing.
And yes - you and your readers NEEDED to know that.

Shannon said...

I was never completely horrified by ET, but I certainly didn't find him cute and cuddly as a child. He was more than a bit creepy, that's for sure. And I have to agree with the other commenter who said Ronald McDonald is freaky. I have no problem with clowns in general. But I've always found Ronald really gives me the willies.

shyestviolet said...

I had nightmares about ET. many, many nightmares. I still will not watch ET.

Jen said...

nell - Have you ever seen the orignal Barney? Now that was some scary stuff right there.

radiomom - I think most people are freaked out by clowns. In my opinion Ronald is a fairly non-scary clown (if you ignore the fact that he's the spokesperson for an evil company) but he's still a clown and therefor? Creepy.

Cathy - Agreed, poop is high on the creep-out factor. I have often done the pee pee dance by the toilet while I waited for it to flush because someone else (USUALLY my son) forgot to.

Shannon - See? No one likes clowns.

shyest - I'm so glad I'm not alone. Did you think he was hiding under your bed though?

Ben said...

I do vaguely remember being frightened that ET and Animal the Muppet were having a conference under my bed, so you must have transfered it to me temporarily.

(This was last month by the way)

Pendullum said...

I'm with you...
Nasty looking martian hobbit....
Never liked any of those fantasy type movies...
And they all seemed so boyish to me... And they kinda pissed me off as a girl as all the characters were geared to the boys ...

Beany said...

The Burger King spokesthingie. He's beyond crazy to me. And they show him showing up in people's beds. Wth? I saw a car the other day with a cling of him on the passenger side. Lifesize like. (shudder). ET never scared me. But I was a grownup when it came out. Although that doesn't seem to have helped with that Burger King Whacko.

Jennifer said...

I hated E.T. and still do to this day. I have never let my own children watch it either. Also, I agree that the burger king freak is spooky beyond measure! I love reading your blog, you seem so down to earth!

Caustic Cupcake said...

I furtively watched some of Stephen King's "IT" when I was probably way too young and for years I harbored a fear of sinks, storm drains, and especially heater vents for some reason. I know Pennywise is not supposed to be cute or cuddly, but the point is that for years I had a seemingly inexplicable terror of the friendly harmless heater vents. Because I was afraid if I explained why, I would get in trouble for watching the movie.

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I loved ET...sorry. But it was probably more of the movie I liked than the actual character. I won't let my kids watch it yet...because I KNOW they will be afraid.

Jen said...

Ben - Um, small confession here. That actually used to be my fear but years later I told you it was you who was afraid of that so that I would have something to make fun of you about. I know that doesn't make any sense.

pendullum - All those action/fantasy type movies are still like that today. Someone needs to come out with a movie like that for girls. Only without the scary alien.

beany - The Burger King guy really doesn't bother me. I think he's funny creepy. I'm not saying I would want to wake up and find him in my bed but I do think the commercials are kind of funny.

Jennifer - Thanks for visiting my blog! I'm much flightier in real life than I appear. I try to center all my down-to-earthiness here on my blog.

caustic - That's the worst, when you can't even talk about why you're scared because you know it will land you in trouble. Something similar happened to me but I can't tell you about it because my parents sometimes read this blog. (Hi Mom! Hi Dad!)

rms schmitty - You're mkaing the right choice. Don't scar your kids for life the way I was scarred. If you do they'll be talking about it on their blog 25 years from now.

Lisa *leelee* said...

I remember watching it when I was young as well. And I have never ever liked it. I thaught e.t.was icky looking. Yes they are playing the comercials like crazy. But lucky me no one in this house has any interest yay!

Ben said...

Hmmm. I could have sworn I was creeped out by Animal as a kid. Dang it. Oh well, "I don't know HOW to clean the toilet!" will always trump anything else in that regard.

Christopher said...

I was never scared of ET as a kid - I just thought he was really boring. He's an ALIEN for God's sake, why isn't he KILLING THINGS or at least shooting them up with his ray gun?

I was a surprisngly blood-thirsty child given my current general placidity.

Jen said...

Lisa - It's the eyes. The eyes are creepy. I'm thankful no one in my family wants to watch it either. Not that I would let them anyway.

Ben - What about the grocery races we used to have? "Hey Ben! Let's race to see who can carry in more groceries!" and then I would stroll along with one bag while you ran back and forth with as many bags as you could. I actually feel kind of bad about that. But thenI think about how you never had to clean a toilet and I stop feeling so bad.

christopher - Who knew you had that blood thirsty streak in you? You hide it very well what with your karoke skills and your cute boyfriend.

Kelly said...

Oh My GOSH!! I had nightmares for ages after watching ET when I was the same age!! Buggie-eyed aliens are SO not cute!! My friends have always laughed when I tell them ET scared me!!

Angela said...

Isn't it on tonight? I think it is. I no longer feel the love for E.T. either. But once, it was there and it was real.

Angela said...

Isn't it on tonight? I think it is. I no longer feel the love for E.T. either. But once, it was there and it was real.