I have three children now

Today I took the kids to Toys R Us to pick up the WiiFit I had on reserve. Frankly I don't know why I ever take my little hooligans to toy stores because getting them to leave always involves melt-downs, hissy fits and temper tantrums. And that's just from me.

Today was no different. Joseph started up the second we walked into the store. I was standing near something pink and freaked out and said all his friends were going to come into the store and see me standing by that pink thing and think I was going to buy it for him and then they would laugh at him. Yeah, because that's logical and likely.

Elle was no better. Oh sure, she started out all cute as she ran for the Barbie aisle yelling "Come on everybody! Come on brother! Look at the dollies!" But within two minutes she was trying to run away from me and stomping her feet and yelling "NO MAMA!" at the top of her lungs.

By the time we went up to pay for the new WiiFit both of them were whining and crying. I calmly told Joseph that I was not pleased with his behavior and he fell to the floor and yelled "Stop insulting me!" The entire time I was paying I kept getting "you're not a very good mom are you?" looks from everyone in the store.

As we walked out the door Elle decided it would be a really great idea to bolt into the parking lot at breakneck speed. Luckily she's got small, stumpy legs so I was able to catch her by the collar of her shirt. So she flopped to the ground. I pulled her up and sort of dragged her along as she fought to free her hand. With my other hand I was hanging on to Joseph who was now screaming "I'm not going with you until you say that you're sorry!"

So there I am, walking out of Toys R Us with a screaming, flopping kid on each side of me. The worse they behaved the tighter I clutched my WiiFit. If someone had come up right then and tried to snatch one of the kids I probably would have let them but that WiiFit was going home with me.

All's well that ends well I guess. The kids are in bed and I got to spend some real quality time with my WiiFit. And oh, I love it so. I love it even though it insulted me a couple of times, like when I stumbled off the platform and the Wii said "Your legs are pretty shaky aren't they?" Thankfully the WiiFit didn't seem to mind all that much when I called it a motherfucker. Which is good. Because I may have said that more than once during the strengthening exercises.

So I love my WiiFit even though it insulted me a little bit. And don't tell my kids this but if you asked me who I would rather spend time with right now I would probably have to pick my WiiFit. It may make me do push-ups but at least it's never screamed "I wish you didn't adopt me!" in the middle of a Toys R Us parking lot.