Monday, May 26, 2008

A reminder to myself

This past weekend Jesse and I went to a wedding where the mother of the bride did something ...... interesting.

As everyone was eating the mother of the bride went up to the front of the room and got on the mic. She began telling this story about how when her daughter was a newborn and her umbilical cord stump fell off she (the mother) saved it. She went on to describe how this cord stump was a symbol of how she loved and cared for her daughter. And let me tell you, it was a real hit. There's nothing people enjoy hearing more when they're eating than a good story about a dried up stump.

She then went on to pull out the box that contained the very cord she had just described to us all. She called the groom up to her and then presented to him the box containing her daughter's dried up umbilical cord stump. She said it was a symbol that it was now his job to care for her daughter.

The groom was gracious and he smiled and hugged his new mother-in-law. He clutched the box tightly in his hand as walked back towards his seat. As he passed our table he paused for a fraction of a second and muttered "This is fucking disgusting."

I made of a note of that moment. I want to remember that story forever so that someday when my children are teenagers and they think I am the most embarrassing person on the planet I can say "At least I didn't save your dried up umbilical cord stump and keep it in a decorative box so that I could present it to your new spouse on your wedding day!"

30 comments:

Lotta said...

Oh man! Funny story but someday that dude is going to be on the recieving end of a baby so he better learn to keep the "disgusting" comments to himself man!

Sam said...

And I thought that I was weird because I saved the baby teeth that Chicken lost. EW THE STUMP? Nasty.

Radiomom Rhetoric said...

That story is so effing funny--that I nearly read it on air this morning....(I didn't-but wanted to!)

gross. LOL

Marshamlow said...

Wow and I thought I was a wack job, glad some people are crazier than me. And during dinner no less. Thanks for the laugh.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

That is hysterical. And disgusting.

kik said...

Geeze,

I didn't save my baby's cord stump...

...guess I'm out of the running for 'mother of the year'. (snort)

Jen said...

lotta - I don't know, I was pretty grossed out by my own daughters cord stump too. Some things just shouldn't be brought up wile people are eating swedish meatballs.

sam - Saving teeth = normal. Saving cord stumps = weird.

radiomom - For a second I was bummed that you didn't read it buthow much would it have sucked if you had and the mother (or daughter) had heard it? That would have been pretty bad. And funy.

marshamlow - I'm findng the whole story a lot funnier retelling than I did when it first happened because now I'm not eating and then I was.

jenny - Indeed. One might even say it was effing disgusting.

kik - I bet most people don't save the cord. I think the "normal" thing to do is get rid of it.

The Laundress~JJ! said...

Holy Hell that is friggin gross.

Laggin said...

Can you say "in bad taste"? Literally.

slackermommy said...

OMG! Was the bride mortified?

I kept my firstborns stump in my wallet after it fell out away from home. A couple years later and after my second was born I found it and was totally grossed out that I kept it. What was I thinking?

Jen said...

jj - It is so gross! And did I mention we were eating swedish meatballs at the time?

laggin - She should have at least waited till everyone stopped eating. At the very least.

slackermommy - The bride had a big smile on her face the whole time so I don't think she was mortified. And I'm sorry, but did you say you kept the stump in you're wallet? Why didn't you get a decorative box? That seems to be the thing to do.

Karl said...

Wow, that's just...wow.

Ben said...

Oooh, I guess I need to get you guys a new anniversary present....






Ha ha, I kid of course, I've never bought you guys an anniversary present.

P.S. Finally, the award for sweetest beard goes to....

Shamelessly Sassy said...

hahahahhaahahahaha. This is reminiscent to me of when people photograph their child's first bowel movements. I would have died if my mother had done this at my wedding.

Sheila said...

Wow. Now that is a story to share with your children later on, for sure!

Jen said...

karl - Agreed.

ben - I can has wizard?

shamelessly sassy - People ..... do that? Like, on purpose?

shelia - I will share it. I just hope they enjoy it as much as I did.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

You are awesome.

http://blogs.chron.com/goodmombadmom/2008/06/bs_sunday_1.html

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

*sigh*

That didn't work.

Let's try this: http://tinyurl.com/43ezzb

Jennifer H said...

I have to agree with that groom. But you telling the story is hilarious!

Congrats on being included on Good Mom/Bad Mom!

mommastantrum said...

Does this mean that those of us that threw the stump out in the BIOHAZARD container I do not Love and Care for my son?
Thanks for an effing hysterical wedding story laugh!

Loula said...

Right now I am wishing I had not eaten before I read that story. Just...Ewww.

Simply,
Loula

Manager Mom said...

If I had a nickel for every time I attended a wedding where the mother of the bride busted out an umbilical cord stump, I'd, uh...be glad there's an open bar.

I mean, can dead skin particles even SURVIVE that long?

Jessica said...

So I wonder where they're going to keep the stump now?

Jen said...

jenny - Awww, thank you! And I didn't even have to ask for it this time.

jennifer h - Thank you. You know what the blogesphere needs more of? People named Jennifer. 800 million of us just isn't enough.

mommastantrum - I think it means you have taste and sense.

loula - Did I mention we were eating swedish meatballs at the time? Because we were and that amped the gross factor up by about 10 notches.

manager mom - I was a little tipsy when this all happened but I don't know if that made the situation better or worse. Probably better. Being tipsy makes everything better.

jessica - It's probably famed and hanging over the mantle.

Biddy said...

ohhhh sweet jeezus!

i'm laughing so hard right now! my boss is looking at me like he might pull the straight jacket out at any moment!

bleu said...

Ok well I have no shame in saying I have my sons stump on my alter in a tiny box. I also have my own stump my mother had saved for me.

I also have my placenta in the freezer and his teeth they had to remove when he was little.

bleu said...

That said I think the gift at the wedding is really inappropriate and sad her partner and her were sooooo out of sync on the thoughts about it.

JoulyBean said...

My mom saved all four of us kids' stumps. She put them in our babybooks. While I do think it's kinda gross, I'm actually happy she did that. I always have an interesting story about the gift I received for my 18th birthday!

My best friend saved her sons circ skin. I think that was a little bit more disgusting than what my mom did.
-Joul

dawn said...

My daughter sent me this item, surely as a hint she is jealous that I have her older brother's cord but not her's ;-)... Come on, folks, show a little parental imagination! I'm forever grateful that my midwife, 26 years ago, had the foresight to suggest, at time of separation, we let her tie the entire length of cord into a "pretzle/bow" shape to dry. Ever since, faithfully, I carefully unwrap it from its tissue paper when time to decorate the tree for Holidays... I get the same teasing every year, but the memories evoked are well worth it. Gross? Nah. It doesn't look any stranger than any other school "art" made n' saved for the tree... My only regret is my daughter's planned home-birth (w/ such rituals possible) became a chaotic hospital C-section, so no ornament from her-- "just" a whole perfect child, now 20. Becoming a parent changes our idea of "the gross factor" a lot...

lyraadriana said...

I am the said daughter of the above Dawn. I am a little bit sad that mine wasn't saved. I do think it's touching, and sweet, and a very good reminder of a very important event. I do however disagree with it being given up. I think that any mother who saves it in the first place, should hang on to it forever.
Besides. Nothing is as gross as those that eat the placenta.