Saturday, August 01, 2009

"Woof" means "I wish the ground would swallow me up right now."

"Hey!" he shouted.

The second it was out of his mouth I knew what was coming. I froze. There was no way to stop it. My boy is an unstoppable force who has yet to meet his immovable object.

*************

It all started so innocently.

Joseph, Elle and I were in the garden picking beans. We saw that one of the neighbors who's backyard butts up against ours was building something shed-like in the corner of their yard.

"Maybe it's a tool shed." Joseph guessed.

"Maybe it's a mansion for Brutus." I suggested. Brutus is the neighbor's dog. He's about 6 inches tall.

As we headed inside the kids giggled at the idea of Brutus having his very own mansion. It quickly became The Funniest Joke Ever and I had to tell it over and over again. When they got tired of that I had to embellish the story.

What would they eat in the mansion? Pupperoni pizza. What would they call the mansion? The Puppy Party Palace. Would they have a butler? Yes, a penguin who knew how to work a pooper scooper.

Joseph seemed to start to think the dog mansion was real. "I wish I could go to the Puppy Party Palace but I'm allergic and I think they only let dogs in."

"Don't worry Joseph" I said. "I'll dress up as a dog and sneak in and let you know what it's like."

Later Joseph and I headed back out to the garden to do some weeding. Our neighbor and his friends were still hard at work on the shed. Joseph watched them work.

I was bent over a particularly weedy patch of carrots when out of the corner of my eye I saw Joseph wander over to the fence that encloses the neighbors yard.

"Hey!" he yelled.

And I froze. There was nothing else I could do.

"My mom wants to dress up like a dog and come over to play with you guys!"

I think I'm done working in my garden for the summer.

Two years ago today I went to the ER and then on bedrest.
Four years ago today Joseph was adorable.

7 comments:

Emily said...

BAAAAAhahahahahahaha
I love this so much.

Mandy said...

LMFAO..... excellent!

Mrs. Schmitty said...

snort!

Becky said...

A tear! An actual tear came out I was laughing so hard!

wheelsonthebus said...

that's awesome

Beany said...

God I love your kids! Seriously. I can see your neighbors hiding in their house whispering to each other and peeking out their blinds. "Is it safe to go out now?" Or dressing up like dogs and knocking on your front door. Oh, too funny.

justmeandthevoices said...

Hilarious!!!!