Failed

Ever since I got back from California I have been taking pregnancy tests.  I pee on a stick and then hold it up just waiting for that bright pink line.  Ok, no bright pink line but maybe a light pink line.  A shadow of a line.  An area with a pinkish hue.  Something to give me hope that the transfer took and that I was pregnant.

But nothing.  I felt some rumbling of nausea that I thought might be a sign but that just turned out to be the start of a stomach bug that I'm now smack dab in the center of.  My breasts have been sore and I thought that might be a sign but I guess it's probably just a side effect of the fertility meds I've been on.

I took a blood test yesterday to confirm what I have been suspecting.  This morning I got the results.  The transfer didn't work.

I never had high hopes for this transfer.  For various reasons I didn't really expect it to work.  Still, I had hopes that we might beat the odds.  I wanted it to work.  I really did and if you could get pregnant just by doing everything you're supposed to then I would have been pregnant with triplets. I wanted it to work so much because I knew how important it was for my IPs.

Since that's not how it worked out we now have to move forward.  I should know soon what the next steps will be.  I know my IPs will want to try again and hopefully this time we'll change some things up so that there's a better chance of success.  This is not the end of this road.  It's just a little stumbling block and we'll get past this.  We'll have success.

Four years ago today Elle wore underwear on her head.