Thursday, December 22, 2011

A, B, C, easy as 1, 2, 3

"Since you had one with the first surrogacy and two with the second are you going to have three with the third?"

I lost count of how many people asked me that.  Friends, family, casual acquaintances, my ob.  Hell, I even joked about it myself a few times.  Oh, it's a funny joke, carrying triplets.  Ha ha HA.

When I went to California for my embryo transfer I was well armed with statistics and facts and percentages.  I knew we were going to be aggressive and transfer three embryos.  I knew what could happen.  I was willing to take the risk. I knew that in the room next to me there was another woman, a second surrogate my IPs were were working with, who was taking the same risk.  My IPs, frustrated with their 15 year cycle of trying and failing to have a child had decided to take a big risk.  Two surrogates, six embryos.  An unusual situation to be sure but one everyone involved with was comfortable being a part of.

Right before the transfer the doctor squeezed my hand and said "Now triplets are possible you know, but not likely at all.  You just keep taking your prenatal vitamins and everything will be fine."

After the transfer came the wait.  Almost right away I knew it had worked.  I just felt pregnant.  Less than four full days after the transfer I got my first positive urine test.  Nine days after the transfer I had my first blood test.  My beta came back as 62. Now that might not mean anything to most of you but for those of us in "the biz" that number is kind of low.  Two days later I had another beta and that one was just a hair shy of doubling.  A good sign but I still wasn't real happy with the low number.  Two days later I had my third and final beta and the number had almost tripled.

I found out that the other surrogate had not gotten pregnant.  Not one of the three embryos transferred had "stuck" for her.

So yesterday was the big day for me.  I got to go to my first ultrasound and see how many embryos had "stuck" with me.  Based on my low numbers I felt like it was probably one.  (In fact, I had compared my numbers to when I was pregnant with the twins and they were a good deal lower this time around.)  I also have had almost not morning sickness and certainly you can't have a multiple pregnancy without morning sickness, right?  On the other hand, I knew that I had been really tired.  Well, tired doesn't even start to describe it.  I was utterly exhausted.  So maybe it was twins.

When I went for my ultrasound the technician recognized me from when I was in all the time with the twins.  She was friendly and we chatted for a bit before getting started.  As she started the ultrasound she asked "Any chance there's more than one in here?"  I laughed and said there could be as many as three but I didn't think that was really possible.

She started probing me and the room got very quiet.  I couldn't see the screen but I could see her face and she looked... confused?  Worried? Amused?  I started to get worried myself.  What if she was seeing a gestational sec with no fetus in it?  What if this was a chemical pregnancy?  "What are you seeing there?" I asked at last.

"I'm seeing a lot of activity" she said slowly and then she turned the screen towards me.  And there it was.

A. B. C.  Three.  Triplets.  
I was speechless.  I just stared.  How could this be?  I mean, I knew it could be but .... HOW?  I managed to find my voice and I asked the tech to show me each heartbeat twice.  I still didn't believe it until she managed to get all three heartbeats on the screen at one.  The rest of the ultrasound was a blur.  I was trying to keep from crying or laughing or passing out or all three combined.  Before she left the room the tech squeezed my hand.

I got dressed and wandered out to the waiting room.  Then to the hall way.  Then I had to sit down.  I sat for a long time.  I called Jesse and my surrogacy agency and texted a couple of people.  Then, when I was at last feeling halfway solid I drove home and ate half a jar of nutella.

Today I'm still feeling stunned.  I don't know what this will bring.  It's still super early in the pregnancy.  (I will be six weeks tomorrow.)  I know it's not uncommon in multiple pregnancies for one fetus to ... disappear.  Of course that doesn't always happen.  I have to admit that I am facing the prospect of carrying three babies.  Am I freaked?  You bet your sweet ass I am.  Freaked doesn't even scratch the surface of how I feel.  But I'm going to play this one day by day and see what comes next. 

As for right now?  I'm going to go eat that other half jar of nutella.  Don't judge.  I'm eating for four.

7 comments:

Shannon (Used to be Charming Bitch) said...

Girrrrrrrrllllll!!! No freaking way!! I am so...something for you!! Happy? Freaked? Worried? Yes, yes, all of those....WOW!!! And hugs!!! and xoxoxo!! And WOW!!!!

Dawn said...

Seriously, all I could think when I saw you write this on FB was holy crap. THREE! At least it's not 8 :D

You're awesome.

Becca said...

Wow! I have been following you for a long time and I just wanted to say that I think you are AMAZING! Good luck with this new journey.

Swistle said...

That is HUGE AND EXCITING NEWS.

Emily Rosenbaum said...

Look, the obvious question here is this: why did you leave half the jar of Nutella? You could have bought another for today.

Barbara said...

I know I told you already, and I know you are freaked out... but CONGRATULATIONS!!! Good luck! *hugs*

Stimey said...

I am way behind on reading this post, as it snuck past me in my feedreader, so I wasn't going to comment. Right up until you said you were eating for four and then I was GOBSMACKED. Damn. That's a lot of people.