Fragina Monologues

This post by one of my new favorite bloggers made me laugh out loud and made me recall two conversations Joseph and I have had about vaginas. That's right, vaginas. You need to use the right words with kids, don't dumb it down for them. Just use the real term, even if it is a gross and hairy sounding word. And I say that as a woman who once used the word "whoo-ha" when talking to her gynecologist. Anyway, on with the show.

Conversation with 3 year old Joseph who just saw me get out of the shower
Joseph: Mommy! Your penis fell off!
Me: I don't have a penis honey. Mommy is a girl and girls have a vagina.
Joseph: Fragina, fragina, fragina, fragina..... (as he walks out of the room)

Conversation with 6 year old Joseph who's watching me change Elle's diaper
Joseph: When will Elle get her penis?
Me: She won't get a penis buddy. Remember? Boys have a penis and girls have a....?
Joseph: A ...... fragile? (pronounced like the dad in A Christmas Story who thinks "fragile" is Italian.)
Me: Close, girls have a vagina.
Joseph: Right, a fragina.
Me: Not a fragina, a ..... ah forget it. That's close enough.

He's going to be saying "fragina" until he's 20 and someday people are going to laugh at him. I'll consider it payback for the time I had him in a busy public restroom with me and he loudly announced "Gosh Mommy, you have a really hairy fragina!"

Too much information

First off, Ben, I got your email.

Next, I had a doctors appointment today. Everything is looking pretty good. My blood pressure is up a little bit but it's low to start with so that's not a big concern. The doctor mentioned that being stressed out or in pain can cause that and I told her that I'm getting very little sleep at night because I'm in so much pain (what with the torn muscle and all). She encouraged me to keep on taking tylenol during the day but gave me something stronger for at night when the pain is the worst. I hope that helps since right now I'm probably getting about 4 hours of sleep a night.

I only gained 1/2 pouind ince my last appointment. Color me suprised. At this stage the baby gains about 1/2 a week and it's been about 2 weeks since I was last weighed. The baby is bigger (she's measuring at 37 weeks now) so much to my suprise I haven't really gained any weight at all.

Now the really personal stuff all about my cervix. If you don't want to hear about my cervix then I suggest you stop reading right now.

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For those of you still with me, what are you? Sick? Even I don't want to hear about my cervix. But here goes. I'm not dialated at all but she thinks the mucus plug is gone. When she pressed against my cervix she said right away that she could feel the baby's head right against it. So the baby has dropped down (or "engaged") and that is probably why I hurt so much and why I pee with the force of a fire hose. Anyway, that all looked good and healthy.

So far things are looking good, right on track. I think I'll be feeling a little better if I am able to get more sleep at night too. I can't complain because the baby is active seems healthy. I can do this for a few more weeks I guess.