A special hat that makes you pee

My ob ordered up a series of tests for me in hopes that the results with show the RE that I'm able to be pregnant again. One of the tests involves me saving 24 hours worth of urine in a jug in my fridge. It's a sure fire appetite killer. Every time I get the munchies I have the same internal dialogue. "Hmm, I'm feeling a little peckish. I thin I'll mosey on over here to the fridge and get myself something to OH MY GOD there's a jug of pee in there!" Then I vow to never eat again. Lather, rinse, repeat every 15 minutes. I get peckish a lot.

Yesterday I went to the clinic to get my blood pressure done (it's fine and dandy thank you very much) and blood drawn and to pick up the stuff for the 24 hour urine test. A very nice lady in the lab gave me a bag of stuff for the test and said "Your jug and your hat are in there." Then she went on to explain about 45 more things I needed to know about the test. I didn't hear any of them though because I was to busy thinking "A hat? What did she just give me a hat for? Does she know I'm taking a urine test and not a ...... head test? Should I say something? But wait! What if it's a hat that makes you pee? Or what if it's a hat that I'm supposed to wear while I pee? Like a special hat that measures my brain activity or something. But why would they need that? Maybe it measures my fluid levels or something. Through my scalp. Yeah, maybe that's it."

"Got that all?" the lab lady asked?

"Oh, sure!" I responded cheerfully because I was not going to make myself look like an ass by asking "And if I get this electronic hat wet will I have to come back and get a new one or will it continue to read my brain waves?"

As soon as I got out to the lobby I opened up the bag to get a look at the hat. Turns out a hat is a little plastic bowl shaped thing that goes into the toilet so that you can pee into it. I guess it sort of looks like a hat. Not enough that they should call it that though because that confuses people and it makes then think they're getting electronic hats.

Yes, I said in my mouth

Small update to the Joseph situation. I guess I was wrong about what's going on with him. He does NOT have pneumonia. He had what the doctor is referring to as "breathing incident". If something like this happens time after time it's called asthma but if it only happens once it's called a breathing incident.

The doctor I spoke to today said it was probably brought on by a combination of Joseph's seasonal allergies being bad and him having a little bit of a cold. We're chalking it up to sort of a freak thing for now.

The good news is that once he gets out of here he'll probably be able to start school right away. He's not contagious so we won't have to keep him home.

The bad news is that last night I was struggling to get a very sleep and combative Joseph to pee into the little bedside pee thingy and there was ....... a bit of an incident. During the struggle Joseph was kicking and peeing at the same time. The pee went everywhere. My shirt was all wet. Some got in mouth.

Don't every let anyone tell you that motherhood isn't glamorous.