Thursday, November 20, 2008

A special hat that makes you pee

My ob ordered up a series of tests for me in hopes that the results with show the RE that I'm able to be pregnant again. One of the tests involves me saving 24 hours worth of urine in a jug in my fridge. It's a sure fire appetite killer. Every time I get the munchies I have the same internal dialogue. "Hmm, I'm feeling a little peckish. I thin I'll mosey on over here to the fridge and get myself something to OH MY GOD there's a jug of pee in there!" Then I vow to never eat again. Lather, rinse, repeat every 15 minutes. I get peckish a lot.

Yesterday I went to the clinic to get my blood pressure done (it's fine and dandy thank you very much) and blood drawn and to pick up the stuff for the 24 hour urine test. A very nice lady in the lab gave me a bag of stuff for the test and said "Your jug and your hat are in there." Then she went on to explain about 45 more things I needed to know about the test. I didn't hear any of them though because I was to busy thinking "A hat? What did she just give me a hat for? Does she know I'm taking a urine test and not a ...... head test? Should I say something? But wait! What if it's a hat that makes you pee? Or what if it's a hat that I'm supposed to wear while I pee? Like a special hat that measures my brain activity or something. But why would they need that? Maybe it measures my fluid levels or something. Through my scalp. Yeah, maybe that's it."

"Got that all?" the lab lady asked?

"Oh, sure!" I responded cheerfully because I was not going to make myself look like an ass by asking "And if I get this electronic hat wet will I have to come back and get a new one or will it continue to read my brain waves?"

As soon as I got out to the lobby I opened up the bag to get a look at the hat. Turns out a hat is a little plastic bowl shaped thing that goes into the toilet so that you can pee into it. I guess it sort of looks like a hat. Not enough that they should call it that though because that confuses people and it makes then think they're getting electronic hats.


Shannon said...

I've had to do that 24 hour urine test during my pregnancies and man does it suck. It makes me think twice about drinking anything because the more I drink the more often I'm going to have to pour pee into that disgusting bright orange jug (that's the colour they give you where I had the test done). Plus it makes it impossible to go out except for incredibly short trips if you're pregnant because there's no way I can go more than half an hour without peeing at 7 months pregnant! I feel for you!

Jen said...

Yeah, don't think that the nurses and lab people don't put them on their heads to be funny sometimes. Cuz they do.

Cathy said...

My husband just did a 24 hour urine test. He didn't have to put his in the fridge though, but it made the bathroom smell worse than normal.

Good luck with the hat. =)

Ben said...

Don't listen to the instructions, it's called a hat because you wear it on your head. Trust me on this.

Anonymous said...

i suggest eating non-refrigerated foods.

Sam said...

Maybe I'm wearing one of those hats and I just don't know it, because I am peeing all the damn time. Or I'm pregnant. Huh. One or the other.