*insert clever title here

Yesterday I gave Joseph a bunch of my old Beanie Babies. I made the mistake of telling him that I had more and would give them to him someday as a suprise. He has spent most to today wandering around the house, looking in drawers and crying because he can't find the rest of them. His theory seems to be that I gave them to someone else. Cripes.

According to my countdown ticker I will be pregnant for approximatly ........ the rest of my life. I have pain from my temples down to my lower back and I am in a terrible mood. Only listening to my illegaly downloaded tunes makes me feel better. Thank goodness for Hey Ya and Cry Me A River and Little Red Corvette and Shiny Happy People.

The belly, it is expanding

I can't button my pants at all now. I have to use a rubber band to hook the button to the button hole. It's time to admit that I need new pants. Sigh.

I look in the mirror every time I go to the bathroom and try to figure out if I look pregnant yet. Mostly I just think I look fat. I'm betting I gained back all that weight I lost from the morning sickness. Ugh. I feel huge.

That's some quality first aid

Today the nurse from Joseph's school called to tell me that he had walked in fromt of another kid on the swings on the playground and gotten knocked down. She said she gave him an ice pack because he said his nose and mouth hurt but that he didn't have any marks and seemed to be ok.

When Joseph got home I asked him how school was. He said (in his cute, chirping voice) "I fell down on the playground and bumped my nose and Nurse Laura gave me a six-pack for my mouth."

Wow. Now that's some first aid we can all get behind. By the way, he's fine and you can't even see a mark on him. Behold the healing power of a six-pack!

Hide and go what?

Today Joseph was watching a show and they little characters on it were singing a song called "Hide and Go Boo!". I swear the first 12 times or so that they said it I thought they were saying "Hide and Go Poop!". I asked Joseph if that's what they were saying and he laughed so hard he fell of the couch. He clued me in but made me say "Hide and go poop" about 20 more times and now the dumb song is stuck in my head.

Oh yeah, go to my dad's site to do the new Disney poll thingy.

This even grosses me out!

Ok, the good news: My retina is not torn or detached. Even though my retinas are "very thin" my eyes are healthy.

The bad news: (WARNING! This is gross!) The back of my eye is coming detached from the jelly-like stuff behind it. The doctor says this happens to everyone at some point though usually not till much later in life. My eye is seperating from the jelly and the space it makes is filled in by a liquid that makes kind of a cloudy spot on my retina. The cloudy spot is what's causing the blurry spot in my vision in my right eye. The blurryness will go away after a while but for the next two months I am at an even higher risk for a tear in my retina. I have to watch for flashing lights or "floaties" or a darkness out of my right eye. I don't really have an issue with eyes but I have to admit that as the doctor was telling me about this I was getting a little sick. Something about eye-jelly doesn't sit will with me.

Between this eye thing and my strange lung collapse I'm starting to think I have some strange medical luck. I'll be the first person in recorded history to have spontaneously exploding knee caps or by diagnosed with Constant Hair On Fire Syndrome.

To sum up, the news is good but weird and gross.

Mom, this is gonna gross you out

I am totally freaking out. I have to go to the eye doctor after Joseph goes to school today because I think I might have a torn retina. My eyesight is all fuzzy out of my right eye and I keep seeing a bunch of "floaties". Yesterday for a minute I saw a bunch of flashing lights in that eye and I just wrote it off as "one of those things" but now I'm starting to get worried. I know I'm at a high risk because my eyesight is so bad and as one doctor told me, my retinas are "stetched to the limit". Ack!

I'll update later assuming I don't have to spend the next two weeks laying flat on my back not moving my eyes or whatever it is you have to do if one part of your eye becomes torn.

4 months

I am 4 months pregnant today! The baby is about 4 and 1/2 inches long and just under 3 ounces. Body and head hair have grown in and this week sweat glands will start to appear and work. The baby can now start to straighten it's neck and move it's head and it's arms and legs move all the time. The baby can also hear and respond to sound now. I told Joseph this and he spent a good portion of this morning yelling songs at my tummy.

We have no waffles

I don't know if it's the weather or a growth spurt or what but Joseph has been driving me a little bit crazy lately. He's cranky and clingy and asks me a million questions without bothering to listen to the answers. Here's a transcript of an actual conversation we had the other day:

Joseph: I'm hungry.
Me: Ok, let's go to the kitchen and find a snack.
J: I want waffles.
M: You ate your last waffle yesterday, we have to find something else to eat.
J: No, I mean I want a SpongeBob waffle.
M: I know honey but you ate the last one yesterday. You can have grapes or yogurt or applesauce or peanut butter toast.......
J: Ok, I'll just have a SpongeBob waffle.
M: We don't have any more waffles Joseph, you need to pick something else.
J: Ok, a Patrick waffle.
M: We don't have any of those either.
J: Ok, then how about a Squidward waffle?
M: Joseph, the waffle box is empty. All the waffles were gone. All the Spongebob waffles, all the Patrick waffles, all the Sandy waffles, all the Squidward waffles, all of them are gone. We have no waffles left. None. Pick something else for a snack or I will pick something for you.
J: ok, ok, how about just a Spongebob waffle?
M: Joseph! We have no waffles! None! (At this point I pulled the empty box out of the trash and shook it upside down.)
J: Wel, who ate all my wafles?
M: You did!
J: Ok, then I'll have one more today and none yesterday.
M: Mommy needs to go check the mail now. (Then I run around outside the house and scream and pull my hair out. Ok, minor exaggeration, but only on my response, the rest is real.)