Saturday, February 21, 2009

Does my face hurt? Because it's killing me!

Those of you not really familiar with me or my blog might now know that I suffer from Constant Hair on Fire Syndrome. CHOFS is characterized by bizarre medical conditions and symptoms that only seem to happen to me and no one else. A perfect example of the nature of CHOFS is when I was sitting on the couch watching tv and my lung collapsed. Who does that sort of thing happen to? Me.

CHOFS has struck me again.

Last night I went to bed with my right ear hurting a bit. I figured it might possibly be an ear infection, a result of The Cold That Ate My Head. I woke up at 3 AM feeling like I had been kicked in the ear. By 4 AM I was on twitter chatting with Shannon who was dealing with TWO kids with ear infections. When I whined to her about how much pain I was in she advised me to stick a blow dryer in my ear. I'm pretty sure that was intended to be helpful advice although knowing Shannon that might have just been her colorful way of telling me to get bent.

I managed to doze off around seven but was up again at eight. Now both ears hurt and I suspicious that during my brief nap someone had pummeled my face in with a shovel. Still I figured it was no biggie. I would just go into Urgent Care and they would take care of me. I mean, what's a little sinus infection on top of a double ear infection? I guess I forgot about my CHOFS.

See, I don't have an ear infection. I don't have a sinus infection. I have collapsed tubes. The tubes in my ears have CAVED IN! Of course they have. I can't take antibiotics. I just have to wait a week or two for the pressure in my head to go away so that the tubes can open back up. In the meantime I can take Suddafed because that helps some people. The doctor who saw me warned me that might cause me to be irritable. Haha. I told her I've been a real bitch for the last couple of days anyway* at least this way my face might stop hurting.

So there we are. Part of my face has collapsed and I'm somewhat crabby about the whole thing. I'm going to attempt to make myself feel better by eating a chocolate muffin (that I probably won't be able to taste) and watching some Flight of the Conchords (which will probably hurt to laugh at). Awesome.

*Seriously, if I've come in contact with you in the last 72 hours? Sorry about the attitude.

5 comments:

laura said...

When I've had something similar happen, my doctor prescribed Flonase, which worked much better than Sudafed for me.

Good luck. I hope you feel better soon.

Ben said...

Oh, so that's why you called me a bastard.

CharmingDriver said...

Not that you need me to tell you this but um THAT SUCKS!! What the hell? Collapsed tubes?!!!!

But YES for actual earaches, a hair dryer on low or even a heating pad on low can sometimes help with the god awful pain until you can get to a Dr. Or you know, you can get bent, either way, ha!!

Stimey said...

CHOFS. That's brilliant. But I am so sorry to hear that you suffer from it. I'm sorry about your face tubes. That's totally sucky. Want some of my Vicodin?

Karen said...

You just reminded me that this past I woke in the night with a terrible ear ache. Hmmm.... It was gone in the morning and I completly forgot about until just this second. Hmm....