Friday, September 17, 2010

His last name is Remover

There is a kid in Elle's preschool class named Stian.  Pronounced Stain.

Stian is Norwegian for "wanderer".

It is also Hipster for "my parents were too busy patting themselves on the back for coming up with my unusual name to ever take the time to consider how naming me Stian is pretty much like pinning a PLEASE TEASE ME note to the back of my shirt every day for the rest of my life".  Alternative meaning: "Thanks a lot assholes"

Edited to add: It's been pointed out to me that perhaps Stian is an old family name.  A tradition.  I respectfully agree that this may be the case but I maintain that some family traditions are better ... not continued.  Family name or not I still think it's a mean thing to do to a kid.

Edited to further add: It's been pointed out to me in an email that perhaps I am a huge bitch for making fun of the name Stian.  I respectfully agree that I may be a huge bitch but maintain that not liking the name Stian is not what makes me a bitch.  Still not a good name.  Sorry, random emailer.  If it makes you feel any better you can go ahead and make fun of my kid's names but then the joke will be on you because I didn't even name one of them, he came with that name so hahahahahahaha!

Edited to even further add:  Holy macaroni!  Does everyone who has a kid named Stian belong to some kind of message board or something?  I have now gotten three emails from people who are mad at me because I made fun of their kid's name.  All right, fine.  You win!  Stian is a wonderful name and I hope that when Elle grows up she and Stian get married and that they have 100 little Stians of their very own but if they don't I will adopt several cats (and some house plants) and name them all Stian because Stian is THE BEST NAME EVER!!!  Also, my best friend is pregnant and I will be encouraging her to name her baby Stian unless it is a girl then I will suggest Stianette.

17 comments:

jwg said...

Or maybe his family is Norwegian and maybe it is his beloved grandfather's name.

Nanette said...

Hahaha! I think it's so funny how women get their panties in a bundle over your objection to a silly name! :-) Thanks for the chuckle

Lunch Buckets said...

You have got to be freakin' kidding me. I can't get the Red Peters song about the dog named Stain out of my head. I do kind of hate you for that :)

Alison Wonderland said...

The beginning of this post was fine (and I'm right there with you with Stian being an incredibly horrible name). But I'm LOVING your editions.

Sara said...

Listen, I have to agree with you. I'm Swedish. My brother has named all of his kids with Swedish names. Uh, yeah, if they want to be made fun of. We live in the US. When in Rome, ya know?

The first two, you can get away with their names here. The baby? Kjell. Pronounced Shell. Still, no one knows how to pronounce it when they see it. Ka Gel...

Poor stain boy.

Rebecca Stob said...

I picked unusual names for my children (Persephone and Morpheus) I'm sure it won't be the worst thing that I will do to them as a parent :) My mom was not a fan of the name Morpheus but I pushed them out of my vagina so I get to name them! I do think Stian is rather unfortunate but depending on where you live unusual names are becoming more common and I doubt he'll be scarred for life and eventually he can go by a different name or pronounce it Stan or something.

shyestviolet said...

it's like they've got some sort of web monitor set up to alert them any time someone mentions their child's name. I got similarly dinged for making fun of the name 'kadence.' (yeah, I know.)

Sarah said...

I went to school with a guy whose first name was "Baby". It was a family tradition, he was the third, but we made very much fun of him anyway. C'mon have some foresight!

Stimey said...

Oh my God, I am dying here. I LOVE that the Stian people are mad at you. Hilarious!

Alex suggested we name Sam "Wiggand" because it was a family name. Wanting Sam to live beyond the sixth grade, I objected.

dancing_lemur said...

Heh, Stianette.

Swistle said...

Oh, I SO LOVE your edits on this. SO LOVE.

Lisa & Jason said...

I've nothing against family names, but come on! Perhaps it could have been a middle name? Just a thought.

Lisa & Jason said...

I've nothing against family names, but come on! Perhaps it could have been a middle name? Just a thought.

Nicole said...

Stian is, to me, a very strange name. Sometimes people do NOT think through what other kids might do to a kid named Stian. My son has a girl in his class named Austin. Her sister is named Jackson. Come on, people. Do you have any idea what those poor girls go through?

Anonymous said...

I knew a kid in college with the nickname Stian. He was named Christian and knew so many kids who use the nickname Chris that he picked something unusual for his friends to use. He pronounced it Stee-un. Kind of like Topher Grace, just another nickname for Christopher. I always thought Stee-un was kind of a cool name.

pippi said...

wait -- i speak norwegian and it isn't pronounced stain. it should be pronounced closer to stee-an.

my kids both have scandinavian names but i made sure to choose ones that weren't too wacky in english. sure, sunniva is a great name in norway but i wasn't going to do that to my daughter.

Blondie said...

There's a boy in my Sunday School class named Espn (pronounced "S-pen"), but we all know he was named after the sports channel, ESPN, and that's just lame.