Tuesday, September 21, 2010

You just can't cut the wisdom out of me

I have a story for you.  It's a story of magic and miracles and wonder and the freaky ass thing that's going on inside my mouth right now.

Eight years ago I had my wisdom teeth removed.  It took a long time for the right lower side of my mouth to heal and at a follow up appointment an x-ray showed that I still had a small tooth chip left in my gums.  The oral surgeon promised me that the chip would work it's way out or it would be reabsorbed by the surrounding gum tissue.

Eight years come and go.  The chip never came out so I always assumed it was reabsorbed.  It's never brought up by any dentist that I see.  (I change dentists a lot.  I have a massive dentist phobia and I'm always looking for one that I can make an appointment with without feeling like I could vomit from terror.)

Yesterday I went to a brand new dentist.  I mentioned that I was having some pain on the right side of my lower jaw.  She looked at my new x-rays and said "That's because you've got a wisdom tooth crowding your molar on that side.  It's going to need to come out."

I explain that I already had that wisdom tooth out.  She pulls up an old set of my x-rays.

"Huh .... I've never ... How is that ... Are we sure these are yours?  We are?  Then how... That doesn't seem right."

All good things to hear your dentist saying.

It turns out that my tiny little leftover wisdom tooth chip has regrown into a tooth.  It's a small tooth but it's a tooth.  It's got a nerve running though it and everything.

My dentist says she's never seen that happen before.  In fact, when I got home I had a consult with Dr Google and I learned that wisdom teeth do not regrow.  It just doesn't happen.  Unless, you know, it does.  In my mouth.  It happens in my mouth.

Now I don't have the x-rays so I can't give you photographic proof but why would I lie about this?  Because I want to achieve world-wide fame as The Freak With The Tooth Thing?  It's not exactly a title that comes with great power and financial rewards.  Believe me, if I was going to lie to you it would be about something much more exciting that my wisdom tooth.

The dentist also expressed amazement over the length of the roots of the teeth in my lower jaw.  She just went on and on about it.  At first I was oddly proud like it was something I had any control over.  Then she just kept talking about it.  She even said it looked like the roots are longer now than they were in my last set of x-rays.  If I had not been sucking down nitrous oxide like it was chocolate cake I probably would have thought to ask her if that meant that sooner or later the roots of my teeth are going to pop right out of the bottom of my face.

I'll ask her tomorrow.  I have to go back to have a cavity filled.  At least that's the excuse the dentist gave for wanting me to come back.  She probably just wants me to sit in the waiting room so she can charge people 25 cents each to get a look at the Amazing Walrus Girl.

Two years ago today we came back from Disney World.
Three years ago today I laughed at Jesse and the kids were freaking adorable.


susan said...

Can I join your freaky wisdom tooth club? I had 6 (count em, six) of the little bastards. One extra each on the top and bottom.

Suzanne said...

And here I was thinking I was special for having five wisdom teeth. I had four out years ago and every time I go to the dentist he says "you know you've still got a tooth back here?" Fortunately I've been pregnant or nursing for the past 2.5 years so OH DARN I haven't been in to schedule that appointment.

Lindsay said...

I had a tooth on the roof of my mouth when I was a kid. Like middle center. When it was coming out, there was this terrible crunching sound and the dentist kept sort of saying, Huh. There was a hook on the tip of the root. It was freaky. I still have the tooth.

Here's my good news though. I am totally untraumatized by that experience, and when I had my wisdom teeth out it was no big deal. The implant was a whole nother story.

Stimey said...

You never want to be the person who the dentist/doctor/auto mechanic says "Huh, never seen THAT before" to. You also don't want to have the procedure done that all the med students want to watch.

That's way bizarre about your tooth. Good luck going back!

Anonymous said...

Jen, That proves it!! You are the goddess of growth, wisdom and prosperity... Anybody who can grow back a wisdowm tooth, with a nerve in it no less, is truly awesome!! I'd go back to the dentist who did the original removal, and make him do the job right this time!! I can't believe he left a piece of the tooth in there in the first place! sheesh...