Monday, July 10, 2006

Shut up already, lady

One of the little boys that Joseph plays t-ball with has a mother who has a severe case of motor-mouth. The woman does not shut up! During practice the parents sit in the dugout to watch and lord have mercy on you if you're the one stuck sitting next to this woman. She will talk, talk, talk, talk, talk the entire half hour. I know a lot about this woman. I know what school all her kids go to. I know their names and the color of their hair and what other activities they're in. I know her husbands name and what he does for a living and how they spent last weekend. I know know what her daughter does that annoys her husband. I know what her son's favorite kind of sports drink is. And all this is just stuff she talked about today.

If she starts talking to you then you're screwed. If you answer her back she takes that to mean that you want to engage her and she gets even more talkative. If you don't answer she takes that to mean that you want to hear what else she has to say and she talks even more. If you try to turn away and talk to someone else she butts right into that conversation and bring it around to her again.

The worst thing she does is the way she talks about the people in her life like I know them. She'll say something like "Well, you know how much Roger likes meatballs!" Ah yes. You know how Roger is with his meatballs. Ice-delivering, brown hair having, daughter hating Roger can't get enough meatballs.

The thing is that I don't want to be rude to this lady. I just want her to shut the hell up already. I'm afraid though that my inability to be rude will mean that she'll spend a lot of time talking to me during the next month and half.

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