Sunday, December 30, 2007

How to compliment someone

So let's say your about to see a pregnant woman that you haven't seen in a while. You want to give her a compliment that will really make her day but what do you say? Listen up because I'm going to tell you exactly what to say to make her feel warm and fuzzy all over! Within two minutes of greeting her, look her up and down and say "Wow! This pregnancy has really made you balloon out all over!"

I promise you that the pregnant lady will remember your kind and thoughtful words for years to come. In fact, she probably won't be able to look at you again without remembering how your keen observation made her feel about herself.

For maximum effect be sure to follow up this compliment by later saying that one of the pregnant lady's kids is smarter than the other and then follow that up by saying "You don't have anything to worry about with this one." while the lady's autistic child is less than 2 feet away.

She'll be beaming for days.

6 comments:

Krista said...

I hope this person doesn't consider themself a friend of yours...

Jen said...

This person considers themself my FILs wife. (My step-MIL I guess.)

realitytesting said...

You can't be serious. Are you serious? That is.....awful. You must avoid this person.

wheelsonthebus said...

That is fantastic advice. Thanks for sharing it. Although, you might want to title it differently: "How to make yourself look like a totally ignorant and self-absorbed SOB."

Emily

nell said...

My god, people are such assholes. I bet she had no idea she was being so offensive.

Anonymous said...

There is actually no such word as "themself." I think the word you wanted was "herself."