Wednesday, January 02, 2008

I hate Oobi

Last night's proposed timeline:
8:00 - Have both kids in bed and asleep.
9:00 - Jesse leaves to take care of some stuff at the office. I go to bed.
10:30 - Jesse comes home and finds us all sleeping comfortably.

The real timeline:
8:45 - Kids finally both in bed and sleeping
9:00 - Jesse leaves to take care of some stuff at the office. I go to bed.
9:05 - Joseph gets up.
9:15 - Joseph is back asleep and Elle is up.
9:30 - Elle is asleep and Joseph is up.
(This continues on for some time.)
12:00 - Both kids are laying in my bed watching Oobi on Noggin as I prepare to dope them up. Joseph is crying that he has a headache and Elle is getting snot all over my pillows. I have not gotten one second of sleep and if I move my head too much it feels like someone is hitting me in the face with a sledgehammer. A call to Jesse tells me that it will be "at least another half hour" before he's home. (Do all offices have stripper music playing in the background?) I consider the possibility that if someone were to break into the house and try to steal the kids (a paranoid, irrational fear I have whenever Jesse is away at night) I might let them. I don't want to be responsible for little people anymore. I want to guzzle a dose and a half of NyQuil and fall asleep to the soothing sounds of my vaporizer running and Golden Girls on the tv.
12:58 - Elle is asleep in her crib. Joseph is asleep in my bed. I lay down on the couch and doze off.
12:59 - Jesse comes home and moves Joseph into his own bed. Jesse promises to get up with the kids if they wake up again. I crawl into bed myself and sleep (sort of) until morning. The kids stay asleep for the rest of the night.

What did we learn here? Oobi is a really stupid ass show but it comes in handy at midnight when you want your kids to shut up long enough so that you can read the dosing instructions on their medications. Also, there should be a law that no woman who is 32 weeks pregnant should have to get a massive head cold that she can't take anything for. That's just inhumane.

6 comments:

~JJ! said...

Gah.

Understood.

I hate Oobi too.

wheelsonthebus said...

My takeaway? That your husband has uncanny timing.

Emily R

Kel-Bell said...

Oobi has been featured on E!'s "The Soup" many times, along with "Hip Hop Harry" and "Yo! Gabba! Gabba!"... my point is that I wonder how many pounds of marijuana and how many tabs of acid these people have to take to think this crap is sufficient for children's entertainment... cripes!

Jerseygirl89 said...

I love Noggin. . .but when I DESPISE Oobi. It freaks me out so much that even my kids don't like it. So now I know to let them fuss until at least 12:25 am, when Oobi is over.

And I am SO SORRY you are sick and pregnant. There's nothing worse.

Oed-wrecks said...

C'mon peeps. See the world through your children's eyes. There's a reason they love Oobi. There's a reason children relate to the speech pattern of the characters on Oobi... it's so like there own. And the concept of the "hand" puppet is a thing of beauty... object permanence. Wonderful stuff. Quit being grown-ups!

Mystic Lover of Fairy Tales said...

Just for the heck of it,I actually watched Oobi and I have to say it,Oobi is stupid. But somehow kids like it,who knows why?