Monday, January 07, 2008

No, actually you don't know it all

There's a blogger who I used to really enjoy reading who I recently had to take off my reader. She went from entertaining to annoying to irritating to massively pissing me off. If I were the kind of person to leave rude comments on people's blogs here's what I would have said to her:

Ok, fine. You want to ignore every expert who tells you that your child might have some form of high functioning autism? Good for you. It's your kid, you do what you think is best. But here's what you don't get to do. You don't get to proclaim that Aspergers is not real. You don't get to decide that everyone who says that their child has Aspergers and is trying to get them help is wrong for doing so. You don't get to imply (or outright state) that parents who say their children have a form of high functioning autism are too stupid or lazy or uninsighful to understand and appreciate their child's particular brand of brilliance. You don't get to say that therapy and interventions are wrong just because you've decided not to take advantage of them. You don't get to say "Wah! Stop talking about Albert Einstein having Aspergers!". Neurotypical children have nearly everyone else in the whole world to look up to as a role model. Let Aspies have one or two people that they can look at and say "That person is like me and they did a lot for the world. Maybe I can do that too." You don't get to simultaneously deny that something exists and become the god damned final authority on it. You want to ignore experts and research (and common sense) while you do what you think is right for your kid? Fine, go ahead and do that. But be aware that saying "My kid doesn't have Aspergers" should not equal "No kid has Aspergers and I'm going to turn into a raging asshole every time I ever hear the word." Seriously, get over yourself.

Yeah, that's what I would say if I was a raging hormonal bitch who was 33 weeks pregnant and dealing with a sinus infection. Good thing I'm not.


Charming Driver said...

I know exactly of whom you speak and yes, when sensory issues (read: torment) were mentioned/listed as a ''gift'' I had to stop reading because: No.

I too firmly believe every parent should make the right choice for their children but the caustic cloud regarding aspies and autism in general is very, very dismissive and ignorant.

Genevieve Choate said...

Oh yes, well I have an 'person' and her son shows allll the classic signs.

Nope he just has ADD. He does NOT have Aspergers (never mind he was listed with autistic tendencies by someone not able to dx the full-blown) and needed not further help.

Fingers in the ears lalalla.

Denial, denial, denial and thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn the switch flipped.

Now he 'could' and she's the end all be all resource on the subject.

So it went from 'what you know doesn't apply to me' to 'I know more than you and am the end all be all expert in less than 30 days.'

Some people are just weird.

This 'person' was always a pain in the ass, so no big loss there (but finally a gain for her child).

I'm sorry this was someone you enjoyed and then it went South.

nell said...

It's one thing to deny the possibility of Asperger's in one's own child, and quite another to deny it's existence over-all.

The thing is, even if testing turns up results that are difficult to deal with, isn't it better to know and be able to do everything in your power to help your child, than to refuse testing and plow through without really knowing what the specific issues are?

I'm no expert, but I sure as hell would want to know everything I could if it was my child, and even once I was an "expert" I would never presume to tell other people what to do.

Anonymous said...

Can I get an "amen"?