Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Tell me a story internets!

I hope you all have a great day. I will probably not. I will be spending my day doing my civic duty in the form of jury duty.*

Jury duty! Fuck, yeah!

So cheer me up. Tell me a funny/cute/silly/uplifting story that will make my day. Bonus points if it involves baby talk. Negative points if it involved adults doing baby talk. Super ultra bonus points if it involves Disney or puppies or chocolate.

Come on people, make my day!

*To be 100% honest I'll probably be spending my time on jury duty mentally composing hate mail to Michael Savage.


Syntax said...

My nephew is just shy of 5 and my friend's daughter Rabbit will be turning 6 next week. They are fast friends.

After a day of bubble blowing and catch, we are ready to go home. My nephew tells me to unlock the car. So I do as I'm talking to his mother and Rabbit's mother. He runs over, opens the car door, and waits for Rabbit to get in and tells her to put on her seatbeat. And then proceeds to open the car door for the other ladies. All on his own. Such chivalry at 4 years old. I know grown men who don't do that.

The wedding is planned for June 7, 2025! lol

Maria said...

When my son was in first grade he had a bout of bad stomach pains that turned out to be just a bad virus. But at one point we ended up taking him late night to the emergency room when he developed a high fever in addition to the stomach pains. They checked him out for appendicitis (negative). The next Monday at school he told his teacher about his hospital trip and that he almost had to have his independence removed. :o)

Barbara said...

Ok, totally not my story, but it made me laugh... Jen at Absolutely Bananas posted signs today that CJ made for Jay... They should help Sign Says

Laggin said...

Here is my uplifting story of the day:

A young man, in his early teens, walked into Michael Savage’s radio studio, interrupting his lunch. The Savage gruffly slammed down his carton of chocolate milk, growling, “What are you doing here?” The boy quietly spoke, “I know I am different. I know there are things I do not understand and that my interpretation of the world is different than almost everyone else. Most say my understanding and interpretation are wrong.”

“Once I overheard the teachers telling my mother that I might not understand parody when we studied it in English. Understanding parody requires catching subtleties of language that I sometimes miss. It requires humor.”

“But, you see, if you tell me I cannot do something, then I view that as a challenge. I do not want my difference to mean I cannot do or understand things. So I worked very hard on understanding parody.”

“Tell me if you think I understand it now”.

The boy handed the Savage a piece of paper. This is what it said:

Now, the problem du jour is angry, right-wing radioheads. You know what that is? I'll tell you what it is. In 99 percent of the cases, it's an adult man who knows better but offers an unintelligent, hurtful spewage of thoughts in order to achieve fame. That’s what a right-wing radiohead is. And you know what? They should cut the act out. Oh how I wish the radioheads could scream–silently. Oh how I wish THEIR fathers were around to tell them, "You are acting like a moron. Maybe you think you’ve gotten somewhere in life. But the truth is you aren’t just acting like a putz, you ARE a putz. A putz with all the ethics of a 13-year-old queen bee after drinking a Rockstar energy drink. YOU straighten up. Act like a man capable of logical thought and kindness. Don’t sit there crying and screaming about everybody else. THAT is the definition of being an idiot. DO something positive for a living other than spewing hatred.” But unfortunately, most right-wing radioheads have gruff fathers. Fathers who are verbally abusive and who willingly humiliate their sons in front of their friends.

Radiohead—everybody has a problem. If your father told you, “Don’t behave like a fool,” it would appear that you were not listening. Right now, you are everybody’s dummy. You frequently sound like an idiot. Who still says, “Don’t act like a girl?” I know some girls who could kick your butt. And, as for you advice, “Don’t cry.” Why? Because that’s what you were raised with? Wow. And didn’t your father also tell you he didn’t like the way you were dressed? That you “looked like a fag”? Do you advocate that too? If the whole world were raised in a particular manner simply because that’s what their parents experienced, wouldn’t we still be living in caves? I suggest you get a little sensitivity training. My father is sensitive and has spent the time to understand me. He did not turn me into a girl. If this is a nation of losers and beaten men, then you are Exhibit “A”.

The Savage looked up, understanding that this boy did comprehend parody but unsure what else to say. He was not on his bully pulpit. There was no one watching this particular show. The boy spoke again, “I read that you explained your political shift from beatnik to radiohead saying, ‘I was once a child; I am now a man.’ If that is the case, Michael Alan Weiner, then I will stay a child.”

A big, almost goofy smile spread across the boy’s face. He turned on his heel and walked from the room. The Mickey Mouse on the back of his t-shirt seemed to silenty mock the Savage in his retreat.

Laggin said...

Sorry, I couldn't work in the baby-talk.

Laggin said...

Oh, and sorry for blogging in your comments!

delagar said...

I don't know if this will cheer you in, but in Pork Smith, where I live, we don't have one day of jury duty, we have ONE MONTH. AARGH!!!!

So your system isn't so bad, I gues is my point.

delagar said...

Oh, and I join you in hating on the Savage. What a tool.

Amy said...

yuck...I got mine in the mail yesterday too! I'm hoping to get out of it. Good luck!

susan said...

I met up with a friend of mine in the park today. There was some sort of kid music concert thing that would be happening later, so a lot of families had started arriving and settling down with blankets and picnic food and whatnot. I had my 3 month-old son on my lap while we sat on the grass, and a little girl, maybe about 2, came over to stare at him.

"Cow," she said, pointing at the giraffe on his shirt.

"You're close," I told her. "It's a giraffe. See the long neck?"


She sat down in front of us and continued to gaze at my boy.

"He have botto?"

"No, he doesn't need a bottle right now."

"He have botto." She pointed at his pacifier.

"Oh. Yyyeah, kind of, I guess. Sure."

Then she reached forward, patted him very gently on the head, and skipped back over to her parents.

Alison Wonderland said... Enjoy.

Jen said...

syntax - What a cutie! I would be planning that wedding too!

maria - Haha! That's pretty funny!

barbara - CJ is a nut. Did you read about the time he tried to keep a spider as a pet?

laggin - a) Awesome story! b) Baby talk would have taken away from it. c) I don't mind long comments!

delegar - We actually have two weeks where we're in the pool but yesterday was the first day I was called in. A month though? Yuck!

amy - It's not totally sucky. I found parts of it kind of interesting.

susan - Cutie pie! I love cute kids. I always seem to have run-ins with little monsters though!

alison - Your blog is my next stop!

SoCo mom said...

My 5 y-o daughter can do what my parents cannot: train their large and rambunctious Airedale puppy. I have to bite my tongue, listening to her commanding him to "dwop it!" I can't hide the grin that comes from seeing him obey her instantly.

My 3 y-o son, who is on the spectrum, likes to request Disney/Pixar CARS trailers to be played on my laptop by leaning up to me and saying "Car???" and then "Rrrrroom, rrrroom!" If I'm a stinker and hold out, he makes kissing noises at me and says "tank you!" I always cave at that point.

... and yes, Savage is an idiot and why do people pay good money to broadcast/listen to jerks on the radio? I don't get it.