Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Internet drama is like a lake or a rock or something

I compose all my best posts while I'm sitting in the shower. I know what you're thinking. "You actually compose this drivel? Like, actual thought goes into it?" You're also probably thinking "Wait a second, did you say you sit in the shower?"

Back off, all right? I've been doing it since I was a kid and I'm not about to stop for you.

But where was I? Oh yes, I compose my best posts while I'm sitting in the shower. Something about the hot water and the steam and the soap and the washing of my hair till it squeaks then pouring on a gallon of conditioner really gets the old creative juices flowing.

I also have a lot of great ideas for posts when I'm halfway asleep. For that reason I keep a notepad by my bed and I use it to jot quick ideas on as I'm drifting to sleep. Then I wake up in the morning and read my notepad and it always says something like "Shneedle doo snarf coorp? snack cake moodle bowl!" Then I throw that page away and hope for better luck next time.

The point of all this is to say that I came up with really great analogy for Internet drama the other day. You may want to sit down for this, it's pretty good. (I say that assuming that you're not in the shower where you would of course already be sitting down.)

Starting Internet drama is a lot like throwing a rock into a pond. What you did may have been very small but instantly ripples start to form. Those ripples grow and grow, getting bigger and bigger than you ever thought they would. You don't have to stay and watch those ripples grow. You can turn away and not watch them. You can refuse to add to them by throwing more rocks into the water. You can roll your eyes and declare that the ripples are boring and that you're so over them. What you can't do is stand on the shore and demand that the ripples stop. Even if it makes you angry or sad those ripples are going to keep growing. All you can do is wait for them to stop when they're good and ready to. Jumping into the water and trying to force the ripples to stop is only going to make things worse.

You know what? I'm going to be honest with you. This was not a shower composed post. This is something that came to me at two in the morning. That's why it's such a labored analogy. At one time I think there was also a part about pond scum and ducks but I decided to leave that our for the sake of clarity.

Now if you'll excuse me, there's a shower floor calling my name.


Nette @ Smiling Mom said...

OK, this post just made me laugh out loud!!

Keep the Joseph stories coming! I just can't stop reading...

Diana said...

I compose my posts in the car and in bed at night before drifting off to sleep (and subsequently forgetting the genius that were my thoughts!).

Actually, I have to be careful in public when I see or hear something that gets the creative juices flowing because I quickly find myself deep in thought, mouthing the narration of my next blog post. People look at me like I'm crazy when I do that. Also, most other times, but especially when I do that.

kik said...

It's true, the ripples made it all the way to Korea-- who would have known?

Now get back to Joseph's story!!

Ferdinand the Duck said...

Very true. Very true.

Also, I sit in the shower! I like long showers and I'm lazy. What of it?

Alison Wonderland said...

I'm kind of confused. Can you give ma a "for instance" (that would be an example for those of you without a six year old)

I compose my best posts (at least I think they're my best) on my night shifts. There's (apparently) nothing like be forced to be awake at 3:00 in the morning to get my creative juices flowing.

Oh and the thought of sitting on my shower floor makes me really really uncomfortable.

Jen said...

nette - Believe it or not the story is nearly done. Maybe three or four more parts.

diana - Ha! I do that too. I look at the world differently now that I blog. Nearly everything becomes potential material.

kik - Slave driver! I just did one part yesterday!

ferdinand - I knew I couldn't be the only shower sitter in the world! I'm so pleased to share that title with you.

alison - Just for example, if someone called someone else's blog "parasitic" in a public forum, that would be like throwing a rock into a lake. Or a boulder.

Eile said...

Blogging is hard! I am not sure that anything that I actually compose in my head comes out quite as well when I type it.

So far, my ideas for future posts (and I say this because with the 2 blogs I am working on I have done four posts total..can you say noob?)have come at any time I can't write down what I am thinking...like the car, or the movie theater, or food shopping..shower...work- no wait, I do write at work...

Please keep the Joey posts coming they are so moving. I am so glad that he found you! I love your writing and I am looking forward to reading much more.

Laggin said...

Well, that analogy struck a note with me. It's the perfect comparison. I've been being washed over with tsunami ripples of Internet blogging drivel in another part of my life. And you know what? It sucks.

*big huge huffy-breathed sigh*

Mrs. Mustard said...

I get a ton of ideas as I lay in bed, but since I have a total breastfeeding mommy brain (read no memory whatsoever) I totally forget by morning. And I don't have the energy to jot notes. I write it all on the fly, baby!

tonkelu said...

Wait...you mean to say that not everyone sits on the shower floor composing blogs?

Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants said...

Nice analogy!

I compose my best ones right before I fall asleep.

Can't remember them in the morning.

Hmmm, off to the shower....

Jen said...

eilie - Welcome to the world of blogging! Don't worry, once you've been at it for a while you'll find blogging material everywhere you look. I totally see everything in my life through the filter of "is this bloggable". Hmmmm, that's kinda sad.

laggin - That does suck. The sad thing about internet drama is that it involves real people who's real feelings can get hurt.

mrs mustard - I have breastfeeding mommy brain too. Only I'm not breastfeeding so explain that. If you ever want proof that breastfeeding raises a baby's IQ then just talk to the breastfeeding mom of an infant. There's a reason she's so scatterbrained, it's because her brains are being sucked out her boobs.

tonkelu - Only the very best, smartest, cutest people do.

alli - Oh my, Miss Fussypants! I'm all atwitter. If I had known you were going to stop by I might have cleaned the place up a bit or at least put on some pearls. Oh wait, I don't own pearls. Shoot. Well, thank you for stopping by. I may have composed this entry in the shower but I was inspired to write it after you-know-what happened with you-know-who.

Laggin said...

Yipee! I sent Tonkelu to you!

LiteralDan said...

High five, man! Sitting-down-in-the-shower power! I thought I was the only one till I found out I was one of two. Now there's enough of us to make a club!

What's the opposite of Internet drama? Cause I'm feeling that right now. Wait, wait... awesome connections made over the Internet are like sitting down in a nice, warm shower. Yeah, that's it.