Facebook is like the rapture

I suppose I had better blog something.  If the rapture come I don't want the last post on this blog to be one with a bunch of terrible pictures of me.

The fact is, social media is killing this blog.  And by "social media" I mean "facebook".  I made a conscious decision a couple of years ago to unplug from Twitter and stop trying to "build" my "brand" but I'm sort of addicted to facebook.  And not just because of FarmVille!  I like the instant feedback and connection that if offers.

Everyone knows commenting is down.  I used to get 10-20 comments on a post.  Now I get two or three.  And I'm not complaining because I know that's just how it is.  I'm guilty of not commenting.  Like, ever.  Even with my very favorite bloggers I just read, smile and mark as read.

But on facebook I comment and "like" and share and interact.  If I have something I want to share with the world these days it just seems so much easier to do it there.  I have over 500 facebook friends.  If I feel like everyone who wants to know anything about me is probably friends with me on facebook so they can just read about my life there.  Except my mother in law.  She reads my blog but she's not on facebook.  And that's ok.  We need the distance.  Otherwise daughter-in-law Jen and social media Jen would collide and I just can't handle that.

So facebook is taking over.  I can deal with that.  But I love this blog and I'm not willing to let it die so easily.  I have to make more of an effort to update it.  (Assuming that tomorrow I don't find myself spending all eternity in the fiery pits of hell...) I started this blog mainly as a record of my children's lives (hence the stupid url name) and if they ever read it someday I want them to think "Wow, our mom sure was delighted with us!" and not "Wow, our mom sure was easily distracted!  And why did she talk about her boobs so much?"

So, my darling children, if you ever read this, here is what you've been up to lately:

On Wednesday when I picked Elle up from school she had a missing tooth.  It had been loose and she pulled it out all by herself while she was supposed to be doing a math worksheet.  I'm a little sad I didn't get to be with her when she lost her first tooth but only a little sad since seeing loose teeth makes me feel a little gaggy.  I'm also a little sad that my baby is old enough to be losing teeth.  How did that happen so fast?

Joseph's class is going to be seeing a sex ed video on Monday.  His teacher sent home a slip this week for us to sign, giving him permission to see the video.  This is what was written at the top of the note:

It's like he's trying to tell me something ... When I told him that I wanted him to watch the video he said "I'm honestly shocked Mommy.  I never thought you would want me to see something like that."  I reassured him that the video would be appropriate for fourth graders but he's still pretty sure it's going to be terrible.  We reached a compromise where he will be in the room when the video is on but he doesn't have to look at the screen if he doesn't want to.  Nothing is simple with this child.  He sure is cute though.

One year ago today Jesse didn't read.
Two years ago today I had underwear in my fruit basket.
Three years ago today Joseph raised his eyebrows.

Programming notes

I guess today is National Delurking Day or something so if you're out there leave a comment and let me know.  Or not.  If you don't my feelings won't be hurt... much.

In other news I will AT LAST be posting the last chapter in Joseph's adoption story on Monday.  If you missed out on the story or want to reread it and catch up it can be found here.

In other news I am thinking of doing more "I Must Be Crazy Chronicles"  because they make me laugh and they're fun to do.  But then I think maybe people hate them and it's like forcing people to look at my vacation slides.  But then I think no one has to read any part of this blog if they don't want to and what if I just happen to have found a group of readers who really like looking at vacation slides?  So should I do more or not?  You can answer that when you leave your delurking comment that I know you had been planning on leaving anyway.

In final news I got some good news yesterday but I hesitate to share it in case things don't work out like I'm hoping they will.  It's really hard for me to self edit like this.  It's my nature to over-share.  I'll just say this: I'm NOT pregnant (because I know that's where everyone's mind goes with me) but... no.  I'll just leave it at that.

Edited to add: Those of you who read me via a feed will get to read the last chapter of Joseph's adoption story early because blogger is being a butthead and it published it early.  I deleted the entry but I think it will still show up in feeds.  Dammit!  I can't have nice things. 

One year ago today I was random.
Two years ago today I went to L.A.
Three years ago today I made a birth plan.  (Holy crap!  Little A is almost three!)

This is not an announcment

I've started about seven different blogs posts today, each of them more boring than the last.  I keep starting sentences and then losing interest halfway through.  That's been happening to me a lot whenever I blog lately.

I think I've lot my blogging mojo.

I need to figure out how to get it back.  I love blogging too much to quit.  I love this blog to much to let it die.  Yes, it's a stupid, unknown, poop-story-filled, read-by-four-people, poorly spelled, dorkishly URLed blog but I love it.  And I need to figure out how to get back to the place where I'm IN LOVE with it.

I certainly can't be the only person who has ever gone through this.  What do you do when you've got a bad case of the blogging blahs?  How do you break out of it?

One year ago today some people noticed me.
Two years ago today I didn't like the neighbor kid.
Five years ago today Elle had a bath.

For the record, he does not care for it

I'm finding it harder and harder to write about Joseph these days.  He's an amazing, talented, smart, funny, creative, energetic, enthusiastic, occasionally difficult child and I want to tell the whole world how weird, wild and wonderful he is but I'm holding back.  The older he gets the more it feels like I'm revealing too much when I write about him.

It was easy when he was little.  I could say whatever I wanted about him and it was just me, telling cute, funny stories about my cute, funny kid.  Now when I want to talk about him I start to wonder if I'm invading his privacy.  He's ten years old now.  Those cute, funny stories that used to be mine to tell as I pleased are now becoming his stories.  More and more often when I want to talk about him I ask myself "Would he want you to share this?" and more and more often the answer is no.

There's other stuff too.  Sometimes I want to vent or work through a particularly difficult episode but I worry about what people might think.  For example, last night Joseph had a really big, bad melt-down and I would like to talk about it and get ideas and support but something is holding me back.  I worry that people will read it and think that I'm a bad parent.  That I did something that caused that behavior or that I didn't do something that could have prevented it.

Even worse, I'm worried that people will read it and think something bad about Joseph.  Maybe people will read it and think he's a bad kid or that he's a spoiled brat or that he's somehow less awesome that he actually is.  I can't let that happen.  Joseph is a great kid.  The people who know him know that.  I can't let people who don't know him think badly of him.

I've had this blog for five years and before that I had another that I started when Joseph was just a tiny baby.  I've spent most of his life documenting every milestone, achievement, setback and one-liner.  It's hard to accept that I have to stop that now.  The best parenting tool I have at my disposal is my intuition and right now it's telling me to ease up, to let Joseph struggle and thrive and grow and succeed without me blogging every little thing.

That doesn't mean I'll never talk about him again!  He's a hilarious little boy and his quips and quirks alone could fill a blog. For example: The other night I made soup.  (For all the progress Joseph has made with food issues soup remains one of his, oh, let's just say less than favorite foods.)   My parents dropped Joseph off after taking him to his horse back riding lesson and he was in a great mood when he walked in the door.  He chattered happily as he took off his shoes (and shirt), washed his hands and sat down at the table.  He picked up a spoon and was just about to dig into his dinner when he realized what I had set in front of him.  The dreaded soup. He stared down at the bowl for a moment and then put his head up and looked me dead in the eye. 

"Mommy" he said, his voice a mixture of anger and disappointment. "I believe I've already made my feelings on soup very clear to you."

And then Jesse and I laughed and laughed and laughed because it might have been a teeny bit rude and sassy but it was also mostly funny.

Welcome to my blog Mr President

I was just browsing my stats and one visitor in particular caught my eye.

"Office of the President"

Could you just die?  Obama visited my blog!  Oh the honor, the prestige, the pure unadulterated excitement of having the President of the United States visit my blog!  And he didn't just read one page either.  He read like a dozen.  In fact, let me just bring up a screen shot so that you can see for....

Hmm.  Upon closer inspection I see that it actually says "Office of the President - University of California".

Well then.  I suppose that's a little less exciting than finding out Obama is reading this blog.  But still, the president of the University of California!  Or perhaps his secretary!  Or a janitor who has a pregnancy fetish!  That's pretty neat.

I'm going to be honest here.  When I'm old I'm going to tell my grand kids about this but I'll lie and say it was the president of the United States but they won't understand what I'm talking about because in the future everyone will have cameras implanted in their eyes so that everyone can constantly see what everyone else is doing at all time and I'll tell my story and they'll be all "There's no such thing as a blawg Grandma!  Stop talking crazy or we'll get back in our hover cars and go back to our houses on the moon!"

Or maybe I'll tell them about the time I was in the airport and this kid (I say "kid" because he was in his early 20's and I have The Old) wearing a Blogger t-shirt sat down next to me.  I said "I like your shirt!  I have a blog too!" and he was like "Oh.  Yeah.  My sister bought it for me.  It's supposed to be ironic." and then a long uncomfortable silence followed.  Then he took pity on me and said "Um... you said you have a blog?  What's... that's... all about?" and I couldn't even think of a lie fast enough so I just blurted out "Oh, hahaha, you know, hahaha, I just tell stories about my kids, hahaha, you know, poop stories and stuff like that, hahahah, Iprettymuchhaveamommyblog, hahahahaha!" and then he got up and moved away from me without saying another word.  That story is 100% true and it was even more awkward than words can express and now that I think about it it's kind of embarrassing so I don't think I'll tell that one to my grand kids. 

I'll just tell them about the time the president visited my blog.

One year ago today I was not famous.
Two years ago today I posted a video that still makes me cry.
Four years ago today I posted something boring about teeth.
Five years ago today Joseph had a mole and gold toenails.

Death Monitor

So I'm using my laptop again.  Sort of.  Jesse has come up with a solution straight out of There, I Fixed It.  I can use the laptop but everything shows up on this other monitor that Jesse plugged into the laptop.  It takes away some portability factor of the laptop (and turns it into a dining-room-table-top) but on the plus side I can... um... I don't know what the plus side is.  Please don't tell the monitor that.  I feel like it has the capacity to become angry.

Remember when computers were first invented and scientists proudly showed them off and said that soon there would be one in every home?  I think this is the monitor that computer was hooked up to.

This monitor is simultaneously the largest and the smallest thing ever created.  I estimate it's weight at about 700 pounds and despite the fact it measures 50 inches across, it's got a 3 inch screen.

The tiny screen is also very dark.  I tried photoshopping some vacation pictures but I had to keep making them brighter and brighter just to be able to see them.  I loaded one onto flickr and then ran downstairs to the office to see how it looked on a decent monitor.  It looked like we had visited Mt Rushmore on the same day the sun exploded.

I ran back upstairs and edited the photo again and tan back downstairs to check the results.  I did this several times.  80 billion to be exact.  That's how many it took to finish the next installment in The "you must be crazy" Chronicles.  Now you might call that extreme devotion to blogging.  I call it extreme devotion to avoiding cleaning my bathroom.  I figure if I wear myself out running up and down the stairs then when Jesse gets home and sees that the house is a disaster I'll be able to say "Sorry, I know Tuesday is bathroom cleaning day but I am too tired from blogging" and I won't even feel guilty about it because honestly, the one thing I really hate about being a stay-at-home-mom is that it always falls upon me to clean up other people's pee splatters.

Anyway.  That's my laptop situation as it stands right now.  Well, that and my keyboard is acting a little wonky but I'm afraid to tell Jesse that lest he hook up a typewriter to the laptop.  I guess I'm going to have to cave in and buy a new laptop.  Sadly, the only way I can afford to do that is to sell a kidney.

Oh, I'm kidding,  I would never sell a kidney to get a new laptop.  I'm selling one of Elle's. She's the one that broke the old laptop.

Four years ago today parenting was really hard but people using Netflix were awesome.
Five years ago today Joseph wanted to wash an old man.

You noticed me! You really noticed me!

Oh! I didn't see you there at first. I've been so busy "sorting" Halloween candy for the last two days that I've hardly had time to think about this blog, much less it's readership. So you'll understand my surprise when I checked my stats and discovered a rather large and glorious upswing in my page views. Specifically, it went from "none" to "some".

I've had these odd blips before and I know it doesn't lead to lead to sustained, long-term readers but I thought I would throw out this offer anyway: If you come back I can promise you lots of stories about boobs and poop and having babies for gay men. And I'm sure my long time readers (hi Jean!) will vouch for and tell you that I can occasionally be amusing or interesting. I'm like a car wreck where the cars are driven by clowns. You can't look away and you feel a little bad for laughing but come on, it's clowns in a car wreck! There are giant floppy shoes all over the highway.

Ok, I lied. I'm nothing like a clown car wreck. I'm more like a housewife who's trying to avoid her domestic responsibilities. Doesn't that sound fun?

Oh well. It was nice while it lasted.

One year ago today I had issues with the neighborhood vagabond.
Four years ago today Elle had her first real bath.

For once I'm not talking about vaginas ..... much

I have a question about blogging and commenting and I was wondering if anyone could give me some input. It occurs to me that I should have asked this yesterday when I was asking everyone to leave a comment. That would have killed two birds with one post. It's because all my great ideas come a day too late that I will never be a blogging super star. That and because I mostly just talk about poop. And vaginas. And boobs. And every time I type "vaginas" my spell check tells me it's wrong so what in the hell is the plural of vagina? Vagini? Vaginies?

Aaaaaanyway.... Here's what I'm wondering: When you leave a comment on a blog how important is it to you that you get a response? Do you find that you are more likely to comment on a blog if you know that your comment will get a response? Some blogs answer comments right in the comments section, I did that for a while too. If you comment on a blog that does that do you ever check back for an answer to your comment?

I enjoy responding to comments but I want to do it in the way that works best for my readers. I see blogging as a give and take activity and if you take the time to comment on my dopey little posts I feel like the least I can do is respond. So what do you think is the best way for a blogger to respond to comments?

I am thinking of changing the way I respond to comments. For people that use a valid email address I will respond via email. For other people I will respond right in the comments section itself. Does that seem like a good solution?

And seriously, what is the plural of vagina?

One year ago today I talked about my confusion regarding Dooce.
Three years ago today showed how he got the nickname Drama Joe.
Four years ago today I used an obscure Simpsons reference but oh my god, how boring was I? Very.

This is only a test... Beeeeeeeeeeep

I am futzing around with some things on my blog and I wonder if you all could help me out. Could you please leave a comment for me on this post? It doesn't have to be interesting or witty or long. It can just say "test" or "hi" or "you're lame" or whatever you want. It would mean a lot to me.

If you have a blogger account could you please leave your comment under that name? And if you don't can you please use a valid email address when leaving your comment?

Consider this my early birthday gift. (Please note that if you planned on buying me a birthday gift for my 32nd birthday (which is on the 20th) this does not take the place of said planned gift. You still have to buy me something. And leave a comment.) Thank you.

One year ago today Joseph got his own blog.
Two years ago today I talked about my fragina.
Four years ago today I ate trash.

Blog constipation

Do you ever have blog constipation? You know, when you want to blog but you just can't?

I'm having that right now. There's something I want to talk about but for various reasons I can't. I mean, I guess I can, there's certainly no law against it. I choose not to though for the sake of peace and harmony in my off-line life. I have to say though, it's killing me. It's taking something that I'm already tense about and making it ten times worse.

It's not until situations like this come up that I realize how much I really rely on blogging. It's an emotional release valve for me. If I can get it all out here then it doesn't eat at me as much. If I keep it inside and non-blogged then it pick, pick, picks at my brain.

Now this thing I'm tense about isn't a big deal and in a few days it will be a non-issue. I have chosen not to talk about it through because it involves people other than me. There's not a lot about myself that I won't share on this blog. I talk about almost every aspect of my life. I do censor myself on a few topics though. I try not to say anything about my kids that will hurt or humiliate them in the future. That's not to say that I shy away from talking about when they are being horrid little monsters but since they are good most of the time I think the overall tone when I talk about them is loving. The same goes for Jesse. He might get a little teasing on this blog but if there's an actual issue between us I keep it between us and not on the blog. I don't talk a lot about my extended family or Jesse's extended family because I am not interested in causing family strife with my stupid little blog. That's just not worth it.

So now I find myself in a situation where I can't talk about what I want to talk about and I can't talk about anything else! I can only talk about how I can't talk about something. Oh blogging, you have warped me.

What about you? Are there things you consider "off limits"? Why? Does the potential reaction of people you know cause you to censor yourself? Or do you just let it all out there, consequences be damned?

One year ago today we had a fixation situation with Joseph.
Two years ago today my bra tried to kill me.
Three years ago today I had a cold. And I'm getting one today too.

The good, the bad and the downright gross

Yesterday was my four year blogiversary. I didn't even realize it until I was finished with my entry but there you go. It's somewhat poetic that neither my first entry nor my entry four years later got any comments. (I hope that anyone who thought about commenting on my last post instead went and left a comment on Shannon's blog.)

I get fair amount of traffic to this blog. And by fair amount I mean more than the six or so visitors a day I used to get. I get a ton of google hits. Most of the time they're for things like "girl pooping" or "girl problems" or "zicam and breastfeeding" or "detachable penis". I do get hits once in a while that kind of amuse and/or horrify me. A few recent ones are:

story about a girl who causes a problem but then helps to fix the problem and with her help the effets of the problem are reduced in her community and a lesson is learned - I find this one very cute for some reason.

say a girl is 19 and a boy is 13 does the boy need to wear a condom - What the boy needs is the police. Seriously. That's .... wow.

is it common for college students to wear diapers - Sure. If they're super freaky.

girl who poops on the toilet and then feeds there baby out there boobs pictures - Good lord. What an oddly specific fetish.

am i hot if i am fat and eat cake? - As one fattie to another? Yes. Yes you are.

I think I have Assbugers - "don't care about other people don't like people" - I think it's breaking an internet law if you diagnose yourself with something you can't even spell.

oobi on noggin breastfeeding - :o

So you can see why I've kept at this for four years. It's not the four cents a day I make on ads. It's not the avalanche of comments I get on every post. It's not even the knowledge that I am providing a much needed service to the world. (Because if I don't mommy blog, who will?) It's the ability to connect with the freaks that keeps me around. Because if I don't blog how else will I know about your poop fetish?

One year ago today I laughed at earnest people.
Four years ago today I was the most boring person on the face of the planet and I feared pooping while giving birth.

Why does Bossy hate Jen?

Jen loves blogs. A lot of blogs. One blog that Jen loves is Bossy. Jen loves Bossy's sense of humor and doesn't even mind when Bossy types like this.

A long time ago Jen added Bossy to her reader. For many days Jen enjoyed her daily dose of Bossy. Then, one day there was no Bossy. There was no Bossy for many days and Jen wondered what happened. Jen checked Bossy's blog and there it was, alive and well. For some reason the feed just wasn't making it to Jen's reader.

So Jen tried again. Again, the feed showed up for a few days and then it stopped. So Jen tried yet again. Again, the feed worked for a little while then it stopped. Jen does not give up easily so she subscribed to the feed over and over and over. And over and over and over the feed would disappear.

So Jen can only conclude one thing. Bossy hates Jen and does not want her reading her blog. Jen knows Bossy will never read this but she wants to say: Jen is sorry Bossy! Whatever Jen did, she takes it back! Please let Jen continue to read you so that she doesn't miss out on your fantastic cartoons, pictures of you in various fabulous scarves and updates on your adorable son family!

(I don't know how Bossy does it. Writing like this for just one entry sort of makes me want to knock my head against the wall.)

One year ago today Jesse failed his maxi pad buying mission.

I've lost my baby

First of all I want to thank everyone who left a comment on yesterday's post. Your kind and thoughtful responses remind me of what I really love about blogging. It's not all vaginas and poop stories. Sometimes it's really about reaching out for help and making a connection with people who care. And even if you didn't leave a comment, thank you for just taking the time to read. It means a lot to me. You and me man, we're like this!

Now that I've got the cheese out of the way, it's time for some sad news. I've got this really awesome key chain that I really, really love. It looks like the naked torso of a pregnant woman. It's clear plastic so you can see right through it. The belly is made of plastic ball filled with water and inside of it floats a teeny baby boy. I love this key chain.

Well, yesterday I went to start the car and I noticed something "off" about my little naked pregnant lady key chain. Her baby was missing! The ball that made up her belly had popped out. I looked and looked and looked but I couldn't find it anywhere. I suppose it could have fallen out at any time when I was running errands yesterday so now there's probably a baby ball laying in the middle of a parking lot somewhere.

My poor naked pregnant lady key chain! Before she looked so lovely. Now she's just a naked torso with a big creepy looking cavern in her stomach.

The key chain has gone from being one of my Top 20 Most Awesome Things That I Own to being one of my Top 20 Most Depressing Things To Look At. This is worse than the time I accidentally ripped the head off my Ramona Quimby paper doll.

So, if you happen to see a little baby ball rolling around could you roll it my way? My little naked pregnant lady misses it.

One more small thing. I'm going to start linking back to some of my older entries. If anything halfway interesting happened my blog on this date then then I'll direct you to it at the bottom of my posts. I won't be sad if you don't click it. (I'm too busy being sad about my naked pregnant lady key chain.)

Two years ago today I lectured you about taking Zicam while breastfeeding.
Three years ago today I showed you a picture of a massive tool.

I've blogged for 1000 posts and all I got was this lousy gallbladder surgery scar

This post is set to publish as I go in for my surgery tomorrow. Err, today. Whatever. It's a pretty crappy way to celebrate my 1000th post on this blog but somehow it just seems to fit.

Since I have to get up at 5 AM I suppose I should be sleeping right now but I can't. I've got so many important questions going through my head. Questions like "Will I have to take my underwear off for the surgery?" and "Can I keep my gallstones or are they considered medical waste?" and "But what if I want to keep them? Are they really waste if it's my waste and I want them?" and "Why in the hell would I want my gallstones?"

I was planning on doing a sort of best of post for this momentous occasion but maybe this is just as good. No one really reads those things anyway and besides, the first two thirds of this blog is absolute crap anyway. The last third is crap too but now I sometimes post recipes and cool pictures of snowflakes.

Today the realtor who sold us our house sent us a flashlight and a card wishing us a happy new year. No real reason for that story, I'm just wondering if it makes any more sense to you guys than it does to me.

I love you all, thank you for reading and I'll see you on the flip side. And by flip side I mean the side where your gallbladder is removed. Or rather, my gallbladder. Painkillers are fun.

At last, a practical use for blogging

Said to Joseph this morning during a big dramatic tantrum over being denied usage of a video game - "If you don't knock it off I'm going to blog about this."

He was instantly quiet as a mouse.

This blogging gig has finally paid off.

Cute girl, too bad about the eyebrows

I know, I know. I've been a very bad blogger lately. I'm not writing, I'm not reading. I'm not leaving comments. I'm not even answering comments. In short, I'm sucking wind at this whole blogging thing. I have an excuse though!

You see, right now I'm just a little wrapped up in me. Or rather, I'm wrapped up in my stress about house stuff. In some sort of crazy miracle series of events we found the perfect house and had someone put an offer in on ours all within 48 hours. Another miracle, the home we found was waaaay out of our price range but the sellers agreed to drop the price and we're getting it for $30,000 than what it was originally listed at. Yet another miracle, the buyers of our house offered us very close to what we were asking and despite the rotten housing market we're still walking out of this place with a profit.

All of this came about about after a lot of offering and counter-offering and haggling and waiting and hand wringing. And it's not done yet. There will be an inspection of our house on Friday and we'll have an inspection of the house we want early next week. I'm worried, worried, worried about what those might turn up. I have no reason to think either one will go badly but I feel like everything has gone so smoothly so far that we're bound for some bad luck.

So for now I'm going to try to be positive. I'm going to focus on getting all our worldly possessions packed (because the proposed closing date is September 23rd!) and getting ready for our trip to Disney World.

The number one thing on my "must do before vacation" list? Getting my eyebrows waxed. I don't want to go on vacation and take a ton of pictures and then come back and show them to people have everyone say "Looks like you had a great time but why were you carrying those two caterpillars around on your forehead the whole time?"

Because people would totally ask that. And if you don't believe me it's because you've never seen my eyebrows.

Internet drama is like a lake or a rock or something

I compose all my best posts while I'm sitting in the shower. I know what you're thinking. "You actually compose this drivel? Like, actual thought goes into it?" You're also probably thinking "Wait a second, did you say you sit in the shower?"

Back off, all right? I've been doing it since I was a kid and I'm not about to stop for you.

But where was I? Oh yes, I compose my best posts while I'm sitting in the shower. Something about the hot water and the steam and the soap and the washing of my hair till it squeaks then pouring on a gallon of conditioner really gets the old creative juices flowing.

I also have a lot of great ideas for posts when I'm halfway asleep. For that reason I keep a notepad by my bed and I use it to jot quick ideas on as I'm drifting to sleep. Then I wake up in the morning and read my notepad and it always says something like "Shneedle doo snarf coorp? snack cake moodle bowl!" Then I throw that page away and hope for better luck next time.

The point of all this is to say that I came up with really great analogy for Internet drama the other day. You may want to sit down for this, it's pretty good. (I say that assuming that you're not in the shower where you would of course already be sitting down.)

Starting Internet drama is a lot like throwing a rock into a pond. What you did may have been very small but instantly ripples start to form. Those ripples grow and grow, getting bigger and bigger than you ever thought they would. You don't have to stay and watch those ripples grow. You can turn away and not watch them. You can refuse to add to them by throwing more rocks into the water. You can roll your eyes and declare that the ripples are boring and that you're so over them. What you can't do is stand on the shore and demand that the ripples stop. Even if it makes you angry or sad those ripples are going to keep growing. All you can do is wait for them to stop when they're good and ready to. Jumping into the water and trying to force the ripples to stop is only going to make things worse.

You know what? I'm going to be honest with you. This was not a shower composed post. This is something that came to me at two in the morning. That's why it's such a labored analogy. At one time I think there was also a part about pond scum and ducks but I decided to leave that our for the sake of clarity.

Now if you'll excuse me, there's a shower floor calling my name.

The best thing I've read all day

Read this! If it's the only thing you do today, read it. I promise it's a lot more cheerful than the last link I posted here. I promise. Now go!

Oh wait, before you go, let me ask you this. Do you like popcorn? Do you like free stuff? Do you like free popcorn? Then you're going to want to come back on Monday when I start a contest where not one, but TWO people will win free popcorn!

Blogs that you might not read but you should

I was de-cluttering my reader today and I was amazed at how many dead blogs I had on there. I was sad to delete some of them but I'm guessing that after six months? Some of them just aren't coming back. As I was organizing some of my new reads into folders (cleaning my reader is easier and more fun than cleaning my house) I kept thinking "This is such a good blog! I should share this with someone!" So that's what I'm going to do. Do yourself a favor and check out the following blogs. If you're running short on time just pick one. I promise you that you'll be pleasantly surprised.

matt, liz and madeline - The tag line for this blog is "life and death. all in a 27 hour period. what you read here is what follows." That pretty much says it all. You may want to start here to get a feel for what this blog is about. Be prepared to cry. The writing style was a little hard for me to get into at first but once I did I was glad I stuck with it.

The Wind in Your Vagina - Yes, that's really what it's called. Even stranger, it's written by a man. This is daddy-blogging with a twist. Be prepared to laugh.

Mara Triangle - This blog is written by a man named Joseph who is "the head of tourism and anti-animal harassment for the Mara Conservancy" in Kenya. This isn't updated very often but it's a fascinating read. Joseph is also on Twitter and Flickr. Be prepared to be educated and to see some gory animal pictures. It's gore with a purpose though.

Fat Cyclist - This is written by a man who um, rides a bike. A lot. So he's not really fat at all. He blogs about biking a little but he blogs more about his wife and her battle with cancer. Be prepared to laugh and cry and discover a long dormant desire to take up biking. At least that's what happened to me.

Ok, I've shared with you some of my new finds, now it's your turn! Tell me who else I should be reading. Also, let me know if you checked out any of the above and what you thought of them.

The forecast

The forecast for this blog includes occasional patches of blog wonkiness followed by the extended periods of bloggy loveliness. Be sure to bring your blogbrella.....

Ok, that went nowhere. The point is that you may experience some weirdness with this blog for a little while as my redesign is almost done. Stick with me.