Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Death Monitor

So I'm using my laptop again.  Sort of.  Jesse has come up with a solution straight out of There, I Fixed It.  I can use the laptop but everything shows up on this other monitor that Jesse plugged into the laptop.  It takes away some portability factor of the laptop (and turns it into a dining-room-table-top) but on the plus side I can... um... I don't know what the plus side is.  Please don't tell the monitor that.  I feel like it has the capacity to become angry.

Remember when computers were first invented and scientists proudly showed them off and said that soon there would be one in every home?  I think this is the monitor that computer was hooked up to.

This monitor is simultaneously the largest and the smallest thing ever created.  I estimate it's weight at about 700 pounds and despite the fact it measures 50 inches across, it's got a 3 inch screen.

The tiny screen is also very dark.  I tried photoshopping some vacation pictures but I had to keep making them brighter and brighter just to be able to see them.  I loaded one onto flickr and then ran downstairs to the office to see how it looked on a decent monitor.  It looked like we had visited Mt Rushmore on the same day the sun exploded.

I ran back upstairs and edited the photo again and tan back downstairs to check the results.  I did this several times.  80 billion to be exact.  That's how many it took to finish the next installment in The "you must be crazy" Chronicles.  Now you might call that extreme devotion to blogging.  I call it extreme devotion to avoiding cleaning my bathroom.  I figure if I wear myself out running up and down the stairs then when Jesse gets home and sees that the house is a disaster I'll be able to say "Sorry, I know Tuesday is bathroom cleaning day but I am too tired from blogging" and I won't even feel guilty about it because honestly, the one thing I really hate about being a stay-at-home-mom is that it always falls upon me to clean up other people's pee splatters.

Anyway.  That's my laptop situation as it stands right now.  Well, that and my keyboard is acting a little wonky but I'm afraid to tell Jesse that lest he hook up a typewriter to the laptop.  I guess I'm going to have to cave in and buy a new laptop.  Sadly, the only way I can afford to do that is to sell a kidney.

Oh, I'm kidding,  I would never sell a kidney to get a new laptop.  I'm selling one of Elle's. She's the one that broke the old laptop.

Four years ago today parenting was really hard but people using Netflix were awesome.
Five years ago today Joseph wanted to wash an old man.


Stimey said...

Think of all the great exercise you're getting!

Lindsay said...

Hahaha. You're on a funny roll Jen. And not to bring up a mommy wars thing, but I just got a job Whoohoo! and I am still cleaning pee. humpf. And because this job involves baking, I now have to do MORE dishes.