Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Operation Bathroom

When my brother and I were kids I would always get stuck cleaning the bathroom that we shared.  Every so often my mom would tell him to clean it but then he would say, and I quote, "But I don't know how to clean the bathroom!" and then she would tell me to do it.  Until recently, if you asked my mom about this she would deny that it ever happened.  Not that long ago though my brother told her it was true, that he had been faking not knowing how to use a rag so that I would be the one who always had to clean the bathroom.  He still brags about it to this day.  Butthead.

I was thinking about this yesterday.  I don't know why, maybe I was just in a mood to contemplate injustice or something.  But I was thinking about it and it occurred to me that I should make sure that BOTH of my children were skilled in the art of bathroom cleaning.  That way neither of the kids would have to grow up with the painful, scarring memory of being forced to do slightly more than their fair share of the work!*

Operation Bathroom was born.  I even facebooked it.  "I am going to recruit the kids to help clean the bathrooms. It's high time these little monsters started pulling their weight around here. Check back in five minutes for an update about how one of them managed to injure themselves with a toilet brush."**
Ahaha.  I'm so funny.  I didn't really expect one of them to get hurt.  I knew everything would be fine!

I gathered up the cleaning supplies, went into the bathroom and called for the kids to join me in there.  Now, most of the time the second I set foot into the bathroom the kids are right outside the door, rattaling the doorknob, shoving notes under the door, asking me questions they could have asked during any of the other 23.9 hours a day we spend together but decided they needed answered at that very second.***  Not this time though.  I had to beg, plead and use a Very Serious Tone to get them in there.

Once we got started though it went pretty well.  I showed them how to shake the rugs out on the front porch and they liked that.  Elle enjoyed sitting on the bathroom counter and wiping off the mirror.  Joseph seemed to have fun scrubbing the toilet.  It was cute. I liked watching them get so into it.  So when Joseph asked if we could have some music on to clean by I was all to happy to oblige him.

I walked into the kitchen and turned some music on the jacked-up "laptop".  Then I opened the recently finished running dishwasher and pulled out the racks so the dishes could dry.  Then I went into the laundry room off the kitchen so that I could grab a couple of cleaning supplies I forgot.  Then I walked out of the laundry room.

That's when Operation Bathroom turned into Operation Disinfect Everything In The Entire Effing Kitchen.  Joseph was standing in the middle of the kitchen.  Dancing. Wildly and gleefully waving his arms around.  With his left arm waving right over the open dishwasher.  And in his left hand?

You guessed it.

The still wet and dripping toilet brush.

Because I am a Very Good Mom I didn't get too upset.  I just gagged for about half an hour then calmly explained that it's a toilet brush, not a throw your hands in the air and wave em like you just don't care brush and perhaps we should use that as a clue as to where the brush belonged.  He seemed to understand and in fact I think he felt a little bad.

He's never going to be allowed to help clean the bathroom again though.

I hate to break it to my brother but he's no longer the king of getting out of stuff.  "I don't know how to clean the bathroom" can't hold a candle to "I can't help clean the bathroom because Tik Tok might come on and my spontaneous outburst of joyous dancing may lead to poo water being flung all over your kitchen."

*Although really it wasn't slightly because my brother was always finding ways to get out of doing work.  I started doing my own laundry when I was 9.  I think my brother started when he was 27.

** My brother's real and actual response to that was "Don't let them snowball you with any of that "I don't know how to clean the bathroom" junk. Take it from me, that line is bull."

*** Best thing yelled to me through the bathroom door in this past week?  "Mama, I'm going to eat five or ten pieces of candy while you're in privacy ok?

Two years ago today I added a chapter in Joseph's adoption story.


Anonymous said...

Oh my, that is so funny!! See what happens when you try to multi-task?? Never, ever does anything good come of it! At what age are you going to teach them to wash clothes?? (Just a hint, Jesse didn't start until he was in high school.) Your week has been as challenging as mine has been. Oh, by the way, did you ever finish the adoption story?? Love to all,
Grandm Judy

CharmingDriver said...

''I just gagged for about half an hour then calmly explained that it's a toilet brush, not a throw your hands in the air and wave em like you just don't care brush and perhaps we should use that as a clue as to where the brush belonged.''


ps No free rides at my house, the 4 year old even helps with laundry.

Ben said...

Hey, I started doing laundry when I was 15. But the first time I tried I used bleach instead of detergent.