Sunday, August 03, 2008

A day at the fair (complete with hot sex)

Yesterday my family and my friend Jen's family got together and drove out to the local county fair. It was a day filled with greasy food, people watching, animal poop and overpriced and rickety rides. Here are some highlights.

We couldn't resist stopping in the "Conservation" building. The sign is what drew us in.

Next we stopped for a little while to watch the Old People Trio do a rocking version of "In Heaven There Is No Beer". The crowd went wild. Well, this one little girl did. It was pretty cute.

After that we stopped in the horse barn to see the horses. Look! Janessa is "showen" Oreo. There were about a dozen of these carefully made, glittery, misspelled signs on various horse stalls. I was a little embarrassed for their maker but then I started to wonder if maybe "showen" is some sort of fair lingo that I just don't know about. Anyone know?

Next we went to look at some smaller animals. Look at these cute little baby chicks! I wonder what the ideal home for baby chicks is?

Why a popcorn popper of course! This conjured up all sorts of funny images in my head that I won't even go into because I don't want people to think I'm weird. The fact that I wanted to drizzle melted butter all over these little guys means nothing ok?

On to the deformed animal exhibit! We all enjoyed seeing the stuffed two headed calf and it's .... commemorative plaque? Actually I think we were all a little weirded out. Except Joseph who gleefully sang "Old McDonald had a farm e-i-e-i-o! And on that farm he had a two headed cow e-i-e-i-o! With a moo-moo moo-moo here and and moo-moo moo-moo there!"

Next half of our group went into the cow barn and half of us stayed out to watch the "Oh my god I'm never eating beef or drinking milk again" exhibit. This cow was getting her hooves filed down and not only did it look really uncomfortable there were also huge shards of hoof flying out into the crowd. I think one got in my eye.

Luckily my eyesight was not affected by the big sliver of cow foot in my eye so I was able to enjoy the art exhibit. Trent won second place with his portrait of Justin Timberlake. I was impressed

Finally we moved on to the carnival portion of the fair where we got to see some red hot doggie style sex. And no Mr Carnie, just because I'm taking a picture of them doesn't mean I want to try to win one of your obscene stuffed animals.

How do you know it's time to leave the fair? When you start to whine and pout when you're not allowed to play with the giant box of electricity.

All in all a good day. I just wish I had gotten a picture of the deep fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich I got. That thing was better than red hot doggie style sex.

I love the fair.


Alison Wonderland said...

Are those stuffed animals really supposed to be having sex or are they just stacked up on on top of the other? If they are doing it ... I'm going to spare you my thoughts on the breakdown of American society.

Jen said...

I love how Elle kept turning her head to face the camera while she was pouting... making sure you always had the perfect photo op!

Nathan and I were rolling at this post.. friggin' funny.

Ben said...

That Justin Timberlake picture has a strangely hypnotic quality.

Laggin said...

Fried PB&J? Yummy. I saw fried Oreos and fried pickles on our trip. Both times I just chanted "walk away, walk away" and it worked. But I'm still wondering what I missed out on.

Rhea said...

What's a county fair without a few deformed specimens?

Manager Mom said...

Oh my God. There were so many things freaking me out in this post, I don't know where to start.

I need to hang at fairs more often. That's some twisted fun right there!

Ferdinand the Duck said...

That picture of Elle is fadorable.

Anonymous said...

the dogs..too funny.

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children said...

I am speechless! I can only hope I have half the experience at the fair tomorrow!!

(So glad you left this link! Leaving links can be skeevy, but I knew you weren't being skeevy!)