This is why I don't have friends

You may not know this about me but I suffer from a rare condition knows as Compliment Dysfunction Syndrome.  This painful condition renders me unable to give or receive compliments like a normal person. Of course it's a real thing!  I offer the following example as proof.

Yesterday Elle was at soccer practice and I was sitting on the sidelines.  I noticed how cute the little boy of the woman sitting next to me was.  I thought to myself that perhaps I should try to talk to this woman and tell her how cute her kid was.  Try as I could though I couldn't find a good way to start a conversation with this person I didn't know and had never spoken to before.  I suppose I could have just jumped in and talked to her without planning it our first but I know that if I had I would have ended up lurching towards her all Frankenstein like saying "Cute kids good!  FIRE BAD!" and that is not a good way to start a conversation.  So I just said nothing.

Then, not three minutes later, the woman started talking to me.  We made small talk for a couple of minutes and then she said the words that stopped me dead in my tracks.  "Your daughter is so cute."

My mind raced.  How should I respond to that?  The only two things I came up with made me sound insincere ("Oh yeah, your kid is totally cute too and I totally mean that and I'm not just saying that because you said it first.  For reals.") or like a total creeper ("Your kid is so cute too!  I noticed it as soon as you got here and I was just sitting here planning out the best way to tell you how cute I think your kid is!").

So I said nothing.  I think I sort of muttered a quick thanks but that's the most I could come up with.  I know it was rude and that wasn't how I meant to come across but this damned Compliment Dysfunction Syndrome left me able to give a return compliment.

Any advice?  How do I give a compliment in a way that won't make the other person fear that I'm going to lunge at them and start stroking their hair? 

One year ago today people in LA really liked fiber. 
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