Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Womb for rent - the family matter

Picking up where I left off here and here I'm going to answer another one of my most asked questions about surrogacy. One thing that I get asked a lot is "How does your husband/kids/family feel about this?"

Jesse is very supportive.Of course when I first brought it up he was kind of like "What the hell?" but once we researched it a little bit he was all for it. He mostly just wanted some assurance that I would be ok with all the meds I would have to take. I think he's proud of me and he's happy to support me in something that he knows is important to me.

The kids are an interesting factor in all this. Joseph knows what's going on and he likes to tell people his version of events. "My mommy is having a baby but then she's giving it away so that we can go on a cruise." I always try to remind him that I'm not really giving the baby away, that it's not mine to begin with. I explain that I'm just helping B & J by giving their baby a place to grow and after he's born he'll go to live with them because they are his parents. I think he gets it but some of the language involved is sort of hard for him to understand.

Elle is too little to understand what's going on at all. I haven't even tried to explain it to her. If I do this all again (and I hope to) I'll let her know what's going on but I think this time around she's just too little. I'm not trying to hide it from her but I don't want to confuse her. She's very perceptive so I wouldn't be suprised if she had figured out that something is going on. If nothing else she has probably noticed that my lap is getting smaller.

At this point in my life my parents are probably used to me coming up with kind of wacky ideas. So I imagine that when I first brought this up they thought "Yeah, we'll beleive it when we see it." I also imagine they were pretty suprised when I went ahead with it. It seems like they're ok with it though now. I guess neither of them has ever really said how they feel about it but I'm taking that as a good sign. (As in, I would hear about it if they didn't like it.)

My extended family is largely supportive. As are my in-laws. Mostly. The only people who have really expressed some negative feelings about this whole thing are my father-in-law and his wife. They're really convinced that I'm going to fall in love with this baby and be heartbroken after it's born. I haven't been able to convince them otherwise so I guess I can't really worry too much about what they think. I also suspect that my FIL might have an issue with the fact that I'm doing this for a gay couple. He's never said it but it's just a feeling I have.

So there you have it. Everyone has been (for the most part) pretty suppportive. I consider myself lucky to know such great people.

Next time I'll answer the big question: Won't it be hard for you to give up the baby?


Ben said...

Hey you didn't say how I felt about it.

Anonymous said...

That WAS my question!

Jen said...

Oh, and I forgot to mention this by my brother has been totally awesome about the whole thing. There has never been, nor shall there ever be a brother more wonderful and wise than my very own brother.

Ben said...