Did I say I didn't want to humilate my kids?

Today when I picked Joseph up from school his teacher walked him out to the car. She said "Joseph wanted me come out here with him so that I could be here when he told you something very important about his day. He was worried you might be upset so he wanted me here to explain things to you if he couldn't."

Of course I was a little worried when I heard that. What could be wrong? Was someone mean to Joseph? Was he mean to someone? Did he get in trouble? What could it be.

I looked at Joseph and he looked at me, his brown eyes as wide as dinner plates. He looked at his teacher and she nodded, encouraging him to speak. "Mommy!" he said very seriously and in a voice loud enough that one might want to use it if one wished to be heard over the sound of an airplane taking off nearby "I had a really bad stomach ache today and so I went to the bathroom and I pooped. And it was a big poop. A very, very big poop. Now I feel better. I just wanted Ms M here so that you wouldn't get too worried."

I glanced at his teacher and she was nodding as though she agreed that this was a very serious issue. She has been a teacher for a long time and has apparently perfected the skill of looking very serious when presented with something very ridiculous. I have only been a mom for eight years and and I have not perfected this skill.

So I stood there and I tried my best not to laugh. I tried, I really did. I'm sorry, he was so worried about the size of his poop upsetting me that he had to bring his teacher out for moral support? How do you keep a straight face when that happens? Thank goodness Joseph is not really very good at picking up on subtle facial expressions and I don't think he notices that I was milliseconds away from bursting out into hysterical laughter. I waved him into the car and then stood there on the sidewalk and giggled for a moment.

Then I got in the car and drove home. All along the way I kept glancing in the rear view mirror and smiling at my sweet, sweet boy. My darling boy who worried that a story about poop might upset me and who wanted to protect me getting upset. That kid is something else.

One year ago today Elle was cute and her hair was really short.
Four years ago today I had fun in the ER with two hot doctors. I had also not yet discovered spell check.