Amazon Woman

I am not boycotting Amazon.

Look, I think we can all agree that the "how to be a ped0phile" book that Amazon is selling is repulsive and it's hideous that such a thing even exists.  The very idea that there are people out there that want to harm children in this way makes me sick to my stomach.  My argument here is in no way, shape or form a defense of this book or the vile scum who wrote it.

There are a lot of books on Amazon that I wish people would never buy or read.  Tom Clancy novels, Focus on the Family publications, Sandra Lee cookbooks and those stupid sparkly vampire books.  In fact, if I had my way none of that stuff would be available on Amazon (or anywhere else for that matter).

But do you really want me deciding that for you?  Do you want me - or any random yahoo - deciding that you can't buy something because it offends our individual sensibilities?  Because there are a lot of books that offend me as an individual that you probably really enjoy.  Lucky for you  those books fall under the protection of the First Amendment and neither I nor anyone else can tell you that you can't buy and read them even if they are total crap. *coughTwilightcough*

Now certainly as a consumer you have a right to vote with your dollars.  If you don't like that Amazon has a company policy of stocking books that are vile (but legal!) then don't shop there.  And if you want to use your voice and exercise your First Amendment right to tell others not to shop there then you should do that.

But I'm standing with Amazon on this one and I hope they don't cave to the mob.  Just like you don't want me deciding that you can't read Twilight or the Bible or How Easy is That? by Ina Garten, I don't want a loud, angry facebook/twitter mob telling me what I can't read.  It's a very slippery slope.  If the loud, angry mob gets this book taken off shelves then what's next?  What's the next book that they direct their attention to?  Lolita for it's portrayal of sex with a ch1ld?  To Kill A Mockingbird for racial slurs?  The Color Purple for it's rape, inc@st, slurs and lesbian themes?  And should the loud, angry mob get their way then?

Look, I don't plan to buy this repulsive how-to book.  I don't even like that it exists.  What I do like is that Amazon is standing up for my (and your!) First Amendment rights by keeping this book for sale. (At the time I wrote this I heard the book is back on the shelves.  Obviously this may change.)  I like that they are not letting the moral code of an individual, or of a group, decide what I can and cannot read.

So I'm still going to shop at Amazon.  I'm going to support them as a company by buying books and video games and photography equipment there.  And I'm going to do my part to stamp out offensive material by NOT buying Twilight.

It's the right thing to do.

Edited to add: Oy. Just so we're super clear here: I am not defending this book.  I am not defending the person who wrote it or those who might buy it.  I am attempting to address the larger issue of you and I being able to have access to books and other materials that fall under the legal protection of the first amendment.  Further more, if you send me an email accusing me of being a "pervert defender" you are not doing anything to change my mind on this issue.  It's just going to make me question not only your mental stability but also your reading comprehension skills.  Also I'm going to wonder why you're so worked up about Twilight.

One year ago today I played Barbies.
Four years ago today Joseph was my defender.

What are you reading?

I am married to a man who does not read for pleasure.  In the nearly 11 years that we have been married I have only ever seen him read one book and that was the time I forced him to read Angela's Ashes.  He liked it and I hoped that might get him to read other books as well but it just didn't stick.  Other than sports and computer magazines he gets, he just doesn't read.  I don't get it.

My kids are both big readers.  Joseph will sit and read for hours at a time.  Any time he goes anywhere he brings a book with him.  The last time he was tested at school he was reading at an 8th grade level.  The kid devours pretty much any kind of book we give him.  Chapter books, joke books, biographies, short stories, history books, coffee table books and his all time favorite, video game guides.  He loves them all.  I love that he loves to read.

Elle can't read many things yet but she really enjoys looking at books.  She has several of her favorites memorized so sometimes she'll "read" them to herself or to her dolls.  She no longer naps but some days when she's feeling sleepy she'll tell me she needs to lay down and read for a little while.  It makes me so happy to see that I'm raising another budding reader.

I think one reason both the kids like to read so much is that we've always read to them.  Even when they were babies we read them bedtime stories.  Joseph can read better than some adults but we still read to him at night.  I don't know when that will stop but I don't think it will be any time soon.  To me, reading to your children is just a basic part of being a parent.  You feed them, you clothe them, you make sure that when they leave the house they don't have food all over their face (sometimes) and you read to them.  It's just not an optional thing.

I was read to a lot as a kid.  One of my favorite childhood memories is resting against my mom as she read the Little House books to me and my brother.  (Books just sound better when you're listening to them with your ear pressed up against the reader's chest.)  I grew up seeing both my parents read and we always had stacks of library books around the house.  I don't remember being told "no" if I ever asked for a new book.  We ordered copiously from school book orders and book fairs.  Reading was an important part of my childhood.

I still love to read.  A good book is one of life's great pleasures.  I like to read in the bathtub but I've fallen asleep and dropped my book into the water more times than I care to admit.  I never mind plane trips or long waits at the doctor's office as long as I have a book with me.  I'm always glad to have a little time to sit down and read.

How about you?  Do you like to read?  Do you have favorite type of book? Can you recommend something good for me to purchase on my nook?  What have you read lately that you loved?  Or what's an old favorite that you love to read over and over again?  And finally, do you think there's any way that I can get Jesse to like reading?

One year ago today I had underwear in my fruit basket.
Two years ago today Joseph tried to raise his eye brows.

I like you so much that I would read a bad book for you

Remember how I am on a quest to meet new people? And how sometimes it goes terribly, horribly wrong? Yeah, I remember that.

Well, I don't give up easily so a few weeks ago I went to a book club meeting. And guess what. It didn't suck! It was fun and the people in it were normal. Well, there was this one lady who would not SHUT UP about her back surgery but there's one in every group* so I can't really complain.

The best part was that I met someone. And she was nice and funny and interesting and she smelled like lavender. And the more I talk about her the more it sounds like I want to date her.

Now I have to make the plunge and ask her next week if she would like to exchange phone numbers and maybe get together for coffee or something some time. I'm not really nervous about it because we got along well last time and ended up chatting for half an hour after the book club had ended so I don't think it will be too weird.

My only problem now is that in order to see this person again I have to read the books that the book club picks. The books. Oh god, they're awful. This month's book is so horrible that I actually feel resentful every time I pick it up. I have over half of the book left and I'm having to force myself to slog through it. It makes me so angry that every few pages I find myself thinking "Oh forget it! I'll just stop reading it and skip out on this stupid book club!"

But then I remember this nice person I'm trying to get to know and I remember how she funny she was and how she smelled like lavender and I keep pressing on. I know that sounds stalkerish and but she laughed at my jokes so I kind of don't care how creepy I'm coming off here.

I guess I should get back to it. I have 237 pages of total crap to get read before next week. Sigh. Wish me luck.

*Really, there is one in every group. If you're ever in a group and you think there isn't at least one weirdo? It's because you're the weirdo. I'm sorry to break it to you but speaking as a person who has played the part of the weirdo many times, I know of that which I speak.

Harry Potter and the Fairly Unspoilerish Review

Well, I did it. I finished it this afternoon. It was .... I don't know. About as I thought it would be I suupose. Unlike the other books, there was almost no humor in this one. I guess there was a little bit but the overall tone of the whole book was so dark that the humor just sort of seemed a little off. There were a few points in the book that seemed so dark and adult that they just seemed out of place in a children's book. It ended about the way I expected it to but there were a couple of little suprises along the way. Now I just sort of feel let down because now it's really, really over. yes, I know that it's silly to get that wrapped up in a book. So sue me.

You've probably heard that the big spoiler about this book was that 2 major characters would die. I don't know by who's count that is but by mine, that number is way off. *Don't read this next part if you don't want to be spoiled at all even though I'm not naming names or anything!* By my count there were seven major characters that died plus a small handful of minor characters.

All in all, a satisfying read. I'm sorry that after all this long wait I had to rip through it like I did but I was just too worried about hearing about the ending from somewhere else. Even if you find yourself spoiled though, don't worry. It's still an enjoyable book.

I love you, don't touch me

I am not a touchy-feely person. I am a person who highly values her personal space. I enjoy the occasional hug or kiss or pat on the back but for the most part I really prefer that people not touch me.* I guess this probably has something to do with my upbringing. My parents were very loving but we were never a very physically demonstrative family. When I was a kid there were hugs and kisses goodnight but by the time I was a teenager that had stopped and there wasn't really a lot of physical affection. I don't mean any of this as a criticism, it's simply not the way our family operated. My parents showed us that they loved us in a million ways. Physical affection just wasn't really one of them.** Maybe it's our gruff, stoic German blood.

The point is that even under the very best of circumstances I just don't really like physical contact. I have found that when I'm pregnant it's even worse. I really don't want anyone touching me ever, at all. Even Jesse has to back off when I'm pregnant. I don't know if it's a hormone that's doing it or the fact that I feel so huge and bloated or if it's something else all together. Whatever it is, I just know that when I'm pregnant I'm really uncomfortable with any physical contact that I don't initiate. Jesse (who is much more touchy-feely than me) can attest to this. Often if I'm upset about something he'll try to make me hug him to ...... I don't know, make me feel better I guess. Almost invariably all this does is make me more upset. Which begs the question, why does he keep doing it?

So if you see me in the next 7 or 8 months and I appear to pull away from you don't take it personally. It's not that I don't like you. It's that I cannot stand the thought of you touching me.

*The exception to this rule is with my kids. I could live very happily with my children permanently affixed to me. I love snuggling my babies. They can often be seen squirming to get away from me as I squeeze and cuddle them.

**After thinking about this I remembered that there are pictures of Ben and I snuggled up to my mom and dad as they read books to us. When I read the Little House books to Joseph I can so clearly remember my mom reading them to me. I would snuggle up next to her and my hair would still be wet from my bath. I would lean up against her and my hair would make a wet spot on her shirt. Every book she would read would sound even better when I listened to it with my head leaning on her chest. I could hear her voice normally in one ear and in the other I could feel it rumble and vibrate through her chest and into my ear. If I close my eyes and think back I can still "hear" it. It's a really powerful memory. Every child should have someone read to them like that.

Motherboy

I dropped Elle off with her godmother today so that Joseph and I could have some one-on-one time together. I took him to arts and crafts, then to lunch and then home to play some games and read some books and then to the library.

At the library I was humilated when they told me they couldn't allow me to check out books with my card until I paid off my ridiculous fees from nearly 4 years ago when I apparently lost a book that I honestly don't think I ever checked out. Seriously, do I seem like the kind of person who would check out "Trash to Treasure, Inexpensive Holiday Crafts"? I don't think so. Luckily Joseph has a library card of his own so they let him, the ultra-responsible 6 year old check out some stuff while his mother wildly pawed through her purse trying to scrape together the $42! needed to pay the library fee. (You know, I don't mind paying a fee if I owe it, but $42? For something I'm not even sure I had?) I don't know, I paid part of it but I think from here on out I'll always be sure to check books out on Joseph's card.

Anyway, Joseph and I had a really nice time together. It was nice to be able to devote 100% of my attention to him and I think he liked it a lot too. Several times he would say things like "I love you Mommy. I love to spend time with you! You are the best Mommy I ever met. I like to be with just the two of us." The funny thing is that without fail he would follow that up with a big sigh and say "It's just not the same without Elle around." Goofy kid.

What gives?

So the real question is, did Jesse totally forget that today is my birthday or is he just waiting until later to mention it?

Ben, go ahead and post your spoiler laden review of AFFC. I just won't read it because I'm desperatly hanging on to that last little shread of hope that something interesting will happen. I figure I can't be spending this much time reading about so and so's bannerman and all their families and all their coat of arms and all their friends and their families and bannerman and coat of arms for nothing. It has to pay off sometime. Right?