Friday, June 12, 2009


I am in the hospital with a tube sticking out of my chest. My right lung collapsed yesterday. I'm not sure how long I will be here but I hope it will be a somewhat shorter visit than I had the last time it happened to me. Right now I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will be out by Sunday.

Frankly my dear, this sucks. I'm in a good deal of pain and there's not a whole lot that can be done about it. I'm doped up pretty well but having a long tube snaking through your chest cavity is just uncomfortable no matter how you slice it.

So can I ask you a small favor? Tell me a story. Tell me the funniest, strangest, silliest thing that happened to you this week. Then, go take a great big deep breath and enjoy being able to breath sans a giant chest tube. Do it for the kids. And by kids I mean me. Thank you.

Two years ago today I had morning sickness.
Three years ago today I was insane and wanted another baby.


Lala said...

lets see....I had a fur coat in the mudroom along with other odds and end. My mom's two dogs live in the mudroom and they're bored so they've started chewing things. I didn't think they could reach the coat cause it was up high but one day I came home and found it on the floor. No huge loss, it was out of style anyway and they seem to be enjoying themselves. one night that week we hear the coyotes come into the neighborhood while my teenager is outside and he gets freaked out when he hears rustling beside him, thinking it was coyotes he came running into the house. Next morning I go out looking for clues to see if there really were coyotes and I find scat. Full of hair, dark dark black and smaller than normal dog poop, I drag my son out and say Look Look! they were right here and you were standing right there and he gets all upset. I save the scat for my mom to get see when she gets home and she's looking at it closely and she points to something, I look closely and it's a seam. It's not coyote scat after all, it's just recycled fur coat.

Wendy said...

For this, I will post. Even though, I am a reader, not a writer. But I'm so sorry to hear about your lung and I can so appreciate the need to hear a story in such circumstances. Get better quickly!

And a story...ooh, I have such a good one. (Please bear in mind, though, reader, not writer.) So several days ago, my son, all excited, tells me that we have a tree mouse. A tree mouse? I'm thinking, chipmunk? Maybe ground squirrel? We live in central Florida and haven't lived here long, so I don't really know much about the native wildlife. Tree mouse sounds plausible and my boy (13) knows a lot about animals, so okay, we have a tree mouse.

A quick backtrack, we have a huge tree in our backyard and a happy squirrel population. Also cows across the road, chickens nearby enough to hear, lizards continually, and occasionally some other oddity, like once a gopher tortoise got trapped in the backyard while on its commute to the mating grounds (no idea where those were, it's just what the books say gopher tortoises do) and once, extremely oddly, some guinea fowl had to be lifted over the fence. It had been a windy night so apparently they got blown in? The question mark is because honestly, it made no sense to me, but my point is that strange wildlife in the backyard is not an anomaly. A tree mouse sounded plausible.

So the boy sees the tree mouse a few times and reports it to me every time but somehow I always miss it. Then yesterday, he calls me, and I come running. Tree mouse? It's a rat! A RAT! In my backyard!! Climbing the tree!!!

He still thinks its a tree mouse however, so we go online and look at pictures, and confirm that no, it's a rat. A real rat. Apparently Florida has rats called roof rats. And they can climb. And there's at least one, probably many more, living in my tree--or possibly my roof. Ack. I am completely creeped out.

But then, I go off with my boyo to visit my sister and her kids. And as we drive, the boy says, Look, look, mom, there's a feathered tree mouse!

It's a bird.

And then five minutes later, it's look, look, Mom, there's a predatory feathered tree mouse.

It's a hawk.

And ten minutes later, it's look, look, Mom, there are some GIGANTIC tree mice.

Deer, three of them.

And the tree mouse being a rat, okay, that was funny. But my boy being able to laugh at himself like that, that was priceless. It turns out that 13 actually does have a good side.

I hope you feel better soon!

Cathy said...

Okay - mine is short, but funny, and I can't, or rather won't, share it on my own blog.

The other day Quinn was taking an extra long time in the bathroom, so I went in there...

Me: Quinn, are you done pooping yet?

Quinn: No, mamma. See, I'm almost as big as daddy and it takes daddy forever to poop, so it's going to take me forever. You should just go read on your computer some more. I'll let you know when I'm done.

jenn said...

Oh, man. I'm so sorry to hear about that. I hope things improve quickly.

Funny...hmmm..OK. Last weekend our family did our first bike trip together - a 13 mile trail along an old rail bed. It was a challenge, but both kids pulled it off. When we were loading the bikes back into the van, my nine-year-old said, "You know, I really think Grandpa would have liked that."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked her absently, "What makes you say that?"

"Well," she said, "He's always really energetic and likes doing active things. But I don't mean that in a BAD way. I mean, I'm not trying to be critical."

Gee, do you think my attitude toward exercise has rubbed off on my kids?

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

Have you ever heard the story of when Ethan saw Emma having her diaper changed the first time? I took the diaper off, he looked down at her, and looked at me with scorn, and said: "So. Huh. I see her privates fell off." He looked at me like I had broken his baby sister.
Hope you're feeling better very soon!

Mandy said...

I was in Target shopping yesterday, sneezed and realized I had probably just peed my pants a little! (Enjoying the little reminders of the suck fest parts of Pregnancy!)

Laggin said...

Holy shiite. (Is that one of the words you don't say?)

Two martinis later...I am sans story after reading that entry. But I will be back with a story.

My baby...who is going on 15 is I have some feeling for what it feels like to to be able to breathe.

Stimey said...

Oh, jeez. I'm so sorry. Let's see. Funny. Damn. I can tell you the one joke my college best friend knew: What did the mushroom say to the other mushroom to get her to go on a date with him? "Come on! I'm a fungi!"

Of course, you have to pronounce that "fun guy" instead of "fun-gi" to get it.

Are you even more depressed now?

I am so sorry to hear about your lung. That sounds terrible. I'm really sorry. Keep us updated. I hope you get to go home soon, friend.

Caustic Cupcake said...

A short conversation from my bar last night:

ME (speaking to die-hard Redwings fan not too long after they lost the Stanley Cup to the Penguins): Sorry about the Penguins, dude.

Anonymous said...

my son got his yellow belt today

Sheri said...

Cheer up! It could for sure be worse....I am going in for brain surgery for an anusysum. I've never done this before but I have done a collapsed lung..OWWWW. Hang in there and hope it ends soon for you. It is VERY painful....I'm thinking my brain surgery is going to be less so.

Anonymous said...

So I'm backstage at a dance recital yesterday(I'm the stage manager)and the kids are lined up for the finale. The four-year-olds are in front of me. One sweet little girl in a purple fairy outfit looks at me and says, very seriously, "It wouldn't be a good idea to go out there naked." Hope you're feeling better.