Parenting is hard

Sometimes being a good parent is all about ignoring your instincts.

A couple of days ago my mom and I took Joseph and Elle to play at a kiddie pool. After we had been there of a few minutes Joseph found three older boys (maybe they were 8 or 9) who were playing a game where they tried to push each other down under the water. I called Joseph over and told him that it was ok if he played with the boys but that he couldn't push or be pushed. Call me over protective but I couldn't see letting my very gentle little boy get pushed around by three little ruffians. Anyway, that seemed to be an ok plan for a while. The boys pushed and splashed and Joseph mostly just followed them around squealing.

Then things took a turn for the less fun. I looked away for one second to make sure that Elle wasn't floating away and I look back to see Joseph sitting by the side of the pool crying. I hop up and start walking quickly over to him. The older boys went into defense mode. They were no dummies. They know that when a 6 foot tall woman is storming over to her child that you just made cry you start coming up with answers and quick. In reality I wasn't even going to say anything to the boys, I just wanted to find out from Joseph why he was crying.

Joseph told me that one of the boys told him he couldn't play with them anymore because they were playing a pushing game and he wasn't allowed to push. I had two instincts right then. The first was to scoop Joseph up and cradle him and soothe him and help him feel better. The second was to tell those older boys "You're going to play a gentle game with my son and you're going to like it!" I did neither.

First I told the boys (who were still loudly proclaiming their innocence) that I knew they hadn't done anything wrong. Then I whispered to Joseph that he needed to stop crying because otherwise those big boys were not going to want to play with him. Then I told him that he needed to either find someone else to play with or he needed to ask the boys if it was ok if he just splashed instead of pushed. The littlest of the bigger boys was furiously whispering to his friends "Is it ok if he just splashes? His mom says he can't push!"

As they discussed it with each other my sweet and gentle little boy sat on the side of the pool shivering and saying "It's ok! We'll work out a plan! It's ok, right Mommy? We can work out a plan? My friends will still let me play with them? Right?" Augh, that was hard.

In the end they decided that he could splash instead of push. Joseph went back to following them around and squealing and they went back to mostly ignoring him. He was happy. I was a mess. I wanted so bad to demand that those little boys be nice to him and include him. I just want the whole world to see how gentle he is and to be as gentle with him in return. It's hard knowing that the older he gets the more he's going find that not everyone is as nice as he is and not everyone is going to want to be his friend. Why can't I just follow him around for the rest of his life making sure everyone is nice to him?

Netflix review

Sometimes when I'm considering adding a movie to my Netflix queue I like to read the reviews of other people to see what they have to say about the movie. There are some real gems out there. In honor of all the people who post Netflix reviews I now present to you the best Netflix review I have ever seen. It doesn't matter what movie it's for, just read it and enjoy!
"I haven't seen this anf if, as it now states in small print that it is titled, I will not watch it as I haven't the three other titled films. You should note in - large --- letters when it is subtitled. Please send me the english version of this film. Please put in the film description when the actors will not be speaking Eniglsh as I do not speak French. Also, when talking to your customer service, they stated I had 7 ?? movies in hand? I do not. Please advise which ones you state I have please and see if we can clear this up. Thank you. By the way. I hope you win your suit against Blockbuster"

They wrote another one later too!
"Since you do not reply to anything I write, I am checking other places to get movies!! I have stated many times trhat you do not state clearly, foreign films, I believe 4 of. Also, one of them was empty, another scratched, which was replaced. Now, I have none at all??? I will bet you have many more like me. I guess your getting to big?At this time, paying for 3 movies at a time, I have none in the house???"
This was about a movie named "Touchez Pas au Grisbi". How could they have known it was foreign with a title like that? I love people.

What Joseph said

"Mommy, that shirt looks nice on you. It's a good shirt because it has a spot for those lumpy things on your chest to go."

"Sometimes when you're in love with someone and you look at them everyone can tell that you're in love with them and it makes you feel shy. That's why when I love someone I keep it my own secret."

"I don't really like all these dinners that you make me. Instead of food can you just buy me toys?"

Rewards

Who ever said motherhood is a thankless job? Yesterday Joseph grabbed a stack of paper and some crayons and sat himself down to work on a project. He scribbled for about 15 minutes and all I heard him say was the occasional mumble of "Oh yeah, she has two eyes, not one." and "This color is good for a shirt." After a while be brought me a "book" that he had made. It had pictures of the two of us together doing various things and he had carfully signed his name at the bottom of each page. He asked me if I could write the title of the book on the cover for him. What was the title? "I love you Mommy". Cripes, I was just a big puddle of happy, melted mommy.

Congratulations to my sweet baby boy on raising $215 for the Relay for Life. He's a monster!

Imagine this

Imagine this: You plan out a dinner for your family. You make a great effort to plan something that everyone will like. You cook the dinner with your own 2 hands and present it to your waiting family. You are greeted with shrieks of "This is gross!" and "I don't eat this yucky stuff!" and "Mommy, why do you cook stuff I hate?". You send the little shrieker to the couch to sit quietly so that you can enjoy your meal. After a while he gets bored and wanders back in to berate you some more for not making chicken nuggets. Repeat the same thing every night and you'll see what it's like to live with Joseph.

Contrast this with Elle who only screamed once at dinner and that was because I wasn't paying close enough attention to her and I hadn't noticed that she had eaten all her tater-tot casserole. By the end of the meal Elle had eaten more of the dinner than Joseph had. She even clapped in between bites.

Hot or Not? The Random Edition

Let's proceed shall we?


There's nothing much to say about the girl in this picture but how strange is the family posed in the pictures she's pointing to? Did the photographer say "Now act like someone put you in a glass jar and shook you up"?


"But Grandpa we don't want to be in the picture!" "Quiet kids! Don't you want grandpa to get a good rating on Hot or Not!"


Is this really the best picture you have of yourself? Really?


Dude, how much popcorn does this guy have? I totally want to watch movies at his house!


"...... to get through the wrapper on this Tootsie Pop?"

Our secret obsession

Joseph and I have a secret. It's something I've never shared before. He and I are suckers for the crap that you see commercials for on tv and then order over the phone. We almost never see one of those commercials without one of us saying "I'd like that!"

What does Joseph covet? Blendypens! http://www.renart.tv/index_files/blendy.htm He talks about them all the time. "And Mommy, did you know that the Blendypens come with a carrying case that is also a belt so that you can color wherever you go?"

What do I covet? The Kaboom NeverScrub Refillable Self-Cleaning Toilet Kit. http://yhst-54645302932347.stores.yahoo.net/neverscrub.html

I sometimes think I might cave in and order one or the other but I'm afraid that if I do I will lose all self control and order everything I see on tv. I'll become one of those people who watches infomercials not because they are funny but because I find them to be a great way to keep up with what'snew in the field of overpriced junk. I'll watch the Home Shopping Network and start ordering applique vests from Susanne Sommers. (I think I spelled about 10 words wrong in that last sentance.) I don't want to be one of those people so instead I'll quietly covet and hope someone else buys Joseph and I what we want.

The final day

Today is Joseph's last day of preschool. Eeek!

Yesterday I freaked him out by telling him that during the summer he would only be allowed to pick 2 shows a day to watch on tv and then that would be it. His little heart is broken.

Joseph's been watching old Double Dare reruns lately. What a crappy show that is. I didn't realize it when I was a kid but man, what a pile of suck. They ask about 8 questions in every round and the rest of the time is spent explaining how the Physical Challenges are supposed to work. Half they time they break or don't work like they're supposed to. Then, during the final challenge it's just one huge commercial as they explain what lame prizes you can win after getting through each obstacle. Anyway, Joseph really likes it for some reason now and has been asking us if we can go on the show.

Elle is starting to get up on her knees and elbows and rock back and forth. Won't be long now till she's crawling. Ack! Why do my kids keep growing!?!

Interesting note - Someone is stealing my computer games! I can't find my Pharaoh disk. If you have it please give it back to me. If you don't have it but feel sorry for me then please buy me a new one. Thank you.