Let's boogie

On Wednesday at t-ball practice the lady who never shuts up talked to me for about 5 minutes straight. I couldn't say too much back to her because I was mesmerized by this giant booger she had hanging out of her nose. It kind of flapped back and forth when she talked. All I could think was that if she breathed too hard her booger would come shooting out and land on me and I would have no choice but to jump up and run around screaming "Get it off me! Get it off me! GET IT OFF ME!"

I also couldn't answer her back because I was afraid that if I opened my mouth to talk the booger might fly out of her nose and into my mouth. Then I would be dead because I would have to go home and gargle with bleach.

Wonder baby

Elle is turning into a creepy-crawly maniac. If you put something she wants in fromt of her (like the remote control or a blueberry) she will creep towards it with this look intense look on her face. I don't think I saw her roll for something once today, she always crept towards it. I'm glad she's decided to stop being such a little slug. She's also getting into a sitting position without help now. She's also trying to pull herself into a standing position sometimes. All of the sudden she's become mobile. Ack!

No rest for the weary

It seems like the kids were up all night last night. For some reason Elle was really gassy and kept waking up. Joseph kept waking up too and even when he was sleeping he was grinding his teeth so loud that I could hear it in the next room. And now they've both been up since 6! I don't know how they do it but I would sure like some of that energy.

Don't test me granny

I had an interesting exchange with someone at Joseph's t-ball practice today. There is a lady that comes to watch her grand-daughter play sports every day. She also watches the girls little brother who's 2. Well, she doesn't watch him very well since most of the time he just wanders around the field picking up broken glass and drinking diet Mt Dew. Anyway, this lady is a real crab. So here's what went down:

Grandma, girl and boy are sitting in the dugout next to me watching the kids play. Boy takes a drink of water and spits it at the girl. Grandma says "Do that again and I'll smack you!" Boy does it again, grandma does nothing. Girl does it to boy and grandma again says nothing. Boy spits at girl again and grandma hits boy in the mouth. Hard. Boy stumbles back and cries. Grandma mutters "I don't know where he learns that stuff from". I think to myself "Uh, I think I might have an idea you stupid cow." I consider telling grandma that she's out of line but hold my tounge. Boy wanders around and cries for a little bit and then comes back and gets another drink. I can see that he's thinking about spitting again and grandma says "If you do it again I'll hit you harder this time." I jump in.
Me: "You can't hit him like that."
Grandma: (with a shocked look on her face) "What?!?"
Me: "If you hit him like that again I'll call the cops. It's against the law to hit a kid on the head or in the face like that."
Grandma: (to boy) "Ok, just do whatever you want then. I guess it doesn't matter if I let you run wild." (I was dying to point out to her that she had let girl spit without saying anything and that she always let boy run wild anyway but I held my tounge.)
After a short pause grandma says to me: "I guess you people don't think it's ok to tell your kids what to do. That's why kids think they can do whatever they want now."
Me: "Funny, I've never hit my kid in the mouth and he's never spit at anyone."
Grandma: "You people think you know how to raise kids?" (I'm not sure who she meant by "you people" here since I was the only other person in the dugout. Maybe she's been called on her mouth smacking before.)
Me: "It's not just me, it's the law. I could have called the cops the first time you did it but I'm telling you now that if I see you hit him again I will call."
Grandma: "Fine! We're leaving!" (She angrily collects boy, girl and their cans of diet pop and goes ..... to the other dugout.)

I did call CPS later and it turns out I was right. You cannot hit a child in the face or on the head like she hit her grandson. So. There you go. I'm not thinking I've stopped this crazy lady from every hitting her grandkid again maybe she won't be stupid enough to do it in front of me now. Anyway, it was an interesting day.

Drama Joe

Jesse and I were eating jumbalya (how do you spell that?) for dinner and the spicy smell of it was really bothering Joseph. He was walking around plugging his nose and whining about it. Finally he decided to go out on the porch until we finished. As he went outside he dramaticaly cried "Why did I have to be born to parents who love soup?"

And now you know why we call him Drama Joe.

Hey, check out my nifty wish list on the right. Now, when you find yourself wanting to buy me something you can just check out my little list and buy me something off of that. Just think how much easier your life is going to be. Aren't I thoughtful?

Netflix review II

This might be the best Netflix review I have ever seen. Some people really know how to bring the crazy.
"I think the movie is unbelievably real. It was a common practice at the time to carry human waste from one side of the village to the fields, then splash the waste around the corps as fertilizer. Well, maybe that explains why I cannot make myself a fan of "organic food". I think the film's director left out the girls and the women in these back-breaking scenes carefully enough not to upset his viewers, instead, he gave them a beautiful aura for the sake of art. I was 13 and a girl, carrying one bucket of waste with another girl. You'd be damned if you walked in the front and going downhill, you'd be damned if you walked in the back and going uphill. So we always ended up with waste spilled all over us. If the whole village was doing it, you'd be doing it just like the village people - nothing special - except they were so skilled that nothing spill over them. Naturally, I contracted hepatitis A, and multiple episodes of severe gastrointestinal disorders, physically under-developed but gained remarkable inner strength. Most interestingly, the villagers soon found out what my doctor parents could and could not do - it was just like the movie - layers of people circled around my folks with whatever ailments they had. After my father delivered our village Chief's baby boy and stopped his wife's massive bleeding - he gave my parents the permission of not working in the fields but practiced medicine in our hub."
Thanks for sharing!

So annoying

The lady who never stops talking at t-ball practice is an idiot. Yesterday she was blathering on and on about something or other and I was doing my best to tune her out. Out of the corner of my ear (I think that's a valid expression) I heard her say "My friend's kids all had bad colds and she brought them over to my house anyway. Now [her kid who's name I won't use] has a really bad cold too."

Wait, what? Your kid has a bad cold? Is that why his face was all coated in snot when you first got here? And now he's playing catch with my son? Seriously?

Ok, I know it's just a cold and not ebola or something but geez! Why would you do that? If you know your kid is sick then keep them home! You don't bring them to play with a bunch of kids who are right at the age where they are always sticking their fingers in their mouth/nose/whatever.

So guess who spent the whole night stuffed up and grinding his teeth? And guess who has been sniffling and coughing all afternoon? Poor Joseph. Poor Elle too because if Joseph has it it's only a matter of time before she does too. Poor me because if the kids get it, I'll get it. Poor Jesse because he's going to come home to a snotty, crabby group of people. I blame Talky McTalkpants.

Sweet

Amanda was over yesterday and we were working on some plans for Gwen's bridal shower. We were talking about doing a game where you say the beginning of a saying and the guests have to finish it. Amanda was saying a couple of them and Joseph jumped in with some answers. It went a little something like this:

Amanda: "A man's home....."
Me: "....is a mess?"
Joseph: ".... is his wife's love."
Amanda: "Marriage is..."
Me: "....hard work?"
Joseph: "...a joy in your heart?"

You know he didn't get those romantic and poetic thoughts from me!

Big girl

Elle sat up on her own today. I was playing on the floor with her trying to get her to crawl for a long time this morning. She was laying on her belly and I walked out of the room for about 15 seconds. When I came back in she was sitting up and chewing on a toy. Crazy baby! She hasn't done it again since but I made a big deal about it and ohhed and ahhed all over her. She just sat there and stared at me as if to see "Whatever crazy lady. It's no big deal."

A cute picture

Elle and Joseph playing with Joseph's new toys.

Money matters

Since Joseph was adopted through the county all his medical expenses will be covered until he's 18. It's a good thing too. I was just looking at his bill for last month's physical/occupational/speech therapy and it's over $1700. His 1/2 speech evaluation alone was over $340. It's crazy how much this stuff costs. We're working on getting him in to see a behavioral therapist too and I shudder to think how much that would cost us if we were paying for it.

Having a child with sepcial needs is so much work sometimes but this is one aspect that I never really considered before. Most families who need these services don't have them paid for by the state. Yet, they're right there, bringing their kids in 2, maybe 3 times a week and shelling out big bucks for the help that their kids need. I'm so gratful that on top of everything we don't have that financial burden hanging over us. We're so lucky that we have access to these services without the restrictions of trying to decide if we can afford it or not.

An eight legged geek

Me: Joseph, I need some more money.
Joseph: Maybe you could get a job.
Me: What kind of job could I get?
Joseph: Maybe you could be a ...... a..... a octa-pah-nerd.
Me: What?
Joseph: A octa-pah-nerd. You know, a person who sells stuff and has a business and makes money.
Me: An entrepreneur?
Joseph: Yes, a octa-pah-nerd. You could do that.

Joseph is awesome

I'm going to tell this story and if you don't know Joseph you might wonder what's so amazing about it. If you know him then you'll understand what a big deal this is.

Last night I was talking to Joseph about different things as I was doing Reiki on him. I asked him what he thought about soccer so far and he had this to say:

"I like it. I like most things but not some things about it."
Me: "What part don't you like?"
Joseph: "I don't like how some of the kids call me 'little boy' and not by my name.
Me: "You know what you could do about that? You could-"
Joseph (cutting me off): I know, I already have a plan. I asked Alicia (his helper) 'Please help me tell those kids to call me Joseph' and she tells them to call me my name."

I was speechless. Here I was all ready to be the wise mom and give him the answer and he went and figured it out all on his own. I'm so proud that he was able to be that assertive. He knew it was bothering him and he found a way to deal with it.

I talked to Alicia about it today and she said there are a couple of boys who keep calling him that but that she keeps reminding them not to. Today she got right in one kid's face and said "You will call him Joseph and you will call her Rachael from now on. Do not call them 'little boy' and 'little girl' any more!" (Theres a little girl who plays soccer who gets picked on a little bit too.) I hope this takes care of it because otherwise I'm about to get in the kid's face myself. And I won't be so nice. This is the same kid who told Joseph "You stink". Little brat needs to change his ways.

But anyway, my big guy is amazing. I'm so proud to see how he's growing and changing. He never would have stood up for himself like that a year ago and he for sure would not have asked for help. What a great kid!

Shut up already, lady

One of the little boys that Joseph plays t-ball with has a mother who has a severe case of motor-mouth. The woman does not shut up! During practice the parents sit in the dugout to watch and lord have mercy on you if you're the one stuck sitting next to this woman. She will talk, talk, talk, talk, talk the entire half hour. I know a lot about this woman. I know what school all her kids go to. I know their names and the color of their hair and what other activities they're in. I know her husbands name and what he does for a living and how they spent last weekend. I know know what her daughter does that annoys her husband. I know what her son's favorite kind of sports drink is. And all this is just stuff she talked about today.

If she starts talking to you then you're screwed. If you answer her back she takes that to mean that you want to engage her and she gets even more talkative. If you don't answer she takes that to mean that you want to hear what else she has to say and she talks even more. If you try to turn away and talk to someone else she butts right into that conversation and bring it around to her again.

The worst thing she does is the way she talks about the people in her life like I know them. She'll say something like "Well, you know how much Roger likes meatballs!" Ah yes. You know how Roger is with his meatballs. Ice-delivering, brown hair having, daughter hating Roger can't get enough meatballs.

The thing is that I don't want to be rude to this lady. I just want her to shut the hell up already. I'm afraid though that my inability to be rude will mean that she'll spend a lot of time talking to me during the next month and half.

4th of July pictures

Joseph at the 4th of July parade.


Elle at the parade. She's grinding her teeth here. She does that all the time now.


The kids together.


Elle eating Jello.


Joseph and his old lady going for a ride.

Busy days

Man, between Joseph's birthday festivities and 4th of July stuff I feel like we've hardly even been home the past 4 days. Some highlights included:
- Joseph getting so overwhelmed with opening all his presents that he had to whisper "Focus, Joseph. Focus!" to himself over and over.
- Joseph getting so overwhelmed by everyone being at his party that he had to run around and give everyone a hug and a kiss. This included Becky's boyfriend who he had never even met before.
- Joseph getting so overhwhelmed by the whole party experience that he had to gush "Thank you for coming everyone! You have no idea how much this means to me!".
- Joseph and Elle falling asleep during the 4th of July fireworks.
- Finding out that I did not lose my camera.
- Seeing Elle and Caden attack a plate of orange Jello.

All in all it's been a fun few days. It's nice to have nothing to do today though. We're all just going to take it easy this afternoon. I've got to go though now because Elle is sitting in her high chair and shooting me looks that say "Are you ever going to notice that I'm stinky?"

Happy, happy birthday baby!

My little boy is 6 today! I can't even believe it. I can so clearly remember the day he came to us. He was so tiny I was almost afraid to pick him up. I never could have guessed that that tiny, fragile little baby could turn into the wild, crazy, wonderful and fantastic Mr Joe that we know and love today.

He woke up at about 6 this morning and said "Bingo! It's my birthday!" and then went back to sleep. Later, when he woke up for real and came downstairs he said "I can't believe I'm 6 today. I know I'm older but I don't feel any changes in me!"

Tonight's his big birthday dinner with a bonfire and fireworks to follow. Yesterday Joseph said "And the best part of my birthday is that Uncle Ben will be there. Must .... watch .... doves!" He can't even talk about Ben without saying the doves quote. Let that be a warning to you. Say something to Joseph once and he will forever associate that phrase with you. It will become your catchphrase. You won't be able to be around him without him saying it. He's such a funny, funny boy.

My week

The week without Jesse went ok. There was really only one day where I considered leaving Joseph at a gas station and my parents were able to help out on that day. (I think his new allergy medication was making him wild. I stopped giving it to him.) Otherwise it went pretty good.

Today was the first day of what has become Joseph's 4 day birthday celebration. Judy came and took us toy shopping and then out to eat. Joseph got a bunch of toys and a meal of fries and chicken strips. I had a really greasy chimichanga and a bunch of gas. I think he got the better deal there.

If you're not Nick Lachey ignore the rest of this post.

Dear Nick,
"Half the man"? Don't be a puss. You're far too good looking to be that upset over Jessica fricken Simpson. Jessica "Chicken of the sea" Simpson. Do yourelf a favor and grow a pair. And if you can't do that then take some of that divorce settlement money and buy yourself a pair.
That's all for now!
Jen
ps. Call me!