Monday, July 30, 2007

Are there Mexicans in Cancun?

Dear obnoxious magazine guy,
No, I do not want to buy any magazines to help you win a trip to Cancun. Even though you think you're really cute and smooth, I don't want to order any magazines from you. I wouldn't want to order magazines from you even if you looked like Orlando Bloom. What made me even less likely to want to order magazines from you is when you casually dropped the fact that you don't like "Mexicans or anyone else who doesn't speak English" into your sales pitch. Um. Yeah. Why in the world would you think that's ok? And why in the world would you want to win a trip to Cancun? Do you not know where that's located? There's Mexicans in them there hills!

And do you really think it helped your case when you told me not 30 seconds later that your father was a Marine and that "you know how those military guys are, they think a good time is killing someone"? Of course you had no way of knowing that my father is a "military guy" and that I can't think of very many things he would want to do less than kill someone.

What really put you in the doghouse though, obnoxious magazine guy, was when you guessed my age and put me at "about 36". Fuck you asshole. Get the hell off my porch. And no, I will not direct you towards the houses of any of my "white neighbors who might like to buy some magazines".

Thank you,
A 30 year old, non-Mexican hating, proud daughter of a kind and gentle military guy

4 comments:

Absolutely Bananas said...

I might buy a magazine just to wack him with it. Naaah, a drop-kick off the front porch would be better.

Sophie Treadmill said...

The other day a newspaper guy rang the doorbell and I kept cutting him off after one sentence with a very quick response, it was almost Gilmorian (except I'm not as pretty or clever) and when I said the words "saves trees" he thanked me and said 'have a nice day. It was weird, it's like that's the one thing he never tries to argue with or something.

Sophie Treadmill said...

Oh, and I'm dying to see this guy's sales records.

It takes a special talent to drop that many offenses in the space of what I am sure was a very brief conversation.

I can't believe they even make people like him anymore. Why hasn't that model been discontinued as a public safety harzard?

StickyKeys Says: said...

Maybe he was going to Cancun, CO? Is there a Cancun in Colorado? How bizarre...