Christmas mania

Help me! I am out of control! I cannot stop buying Christmas presents for Joseph!

I keep going out intending to buy for the other people on my list but then I just end up with a crat full of stuff for Joseph. I can't help it though. He's just really, really easy to buy for and just about everyone else I have to buy for is really, really hard.

I get great satisfaction out of finding the "perfect" gift. The problem is that I keep finding the "perfect" gift for one person over and over while everyone else on my list remains unbought for.

I think I might be acting out on some guilt I feel over Joseph's first Christmas with us. He was still our foster child at the time and we were being told on a weekly basis "He's going to go back home any day now. Expect it to happen at any time." I went to a used children's clothing store and bought him a big bag of clothes. I thought it would be of good use when he was back living with people who didn't know how to provide for his basic needs. About two days before Christmas I realized that he would be with us for the holidays and I went and got him a coupleof cheapie baby toys somewhere. And that's all he got for his very first Christmas. Yeah, I still feel a little crummy about that.

So now I need to make up for it by buying him everything that he expressed even a mild, passing interest in. Movies, computer games, Wii games, a Nintendo DS, art supplies, Tech Dudes, Cars cars, puzzles, board games, I'm out of control!

I hope Elle won't mind watching Joseph open presents for three hours while she sits there with her new pink bike and pink helmet and ..... not much else.

Sigh.