It's all good

I was not exepcting to be sitting down and writing out a birth story this soon (I thought I would still be pregnant at this point!) but little A is here and I could not be happier about it. I don't have any pictures to post because I want to respect my IFs privacy but trust me, he is a beautiful boy.

I had to be at the hospital at 5 AM to get the induction going. I got about 2 hours of sleep the night before because I was just a bundle of nerves. Unfortunatly the hospital screwed up the order for my pitocin so they didn't even get hooked up until nearly 8. They hooked me up and I dozed off until around 9 when I was able to start feeling contractions. Jesse and I played cards until my doula (Jen) got there at about 10. Then the three of us played cards for the next half hour or so before my contractions suddenly got a lot more intense.

My doc checked me and decided to go ahead and break my water at that point. Contractions really got a lot stronger then and all of the sudden I couldn't keep still. I would sit on the birthing ball for a minute then I wanted to walk around then I wanted to lean over the bed then I wanted to go back on the ball. My IFs got there just as the nurse was telling me either I had to sit still or they were going to have to put internal monitors on me because they kept losing track of the baby with the external monitor. Also, for some reason the monitor wasn't picking up my contractions even though I was having them big time.

I agreed to the internal monitor and it's a good thing I did. As soon as we got it hooked up we saw that the baby's heartbeat was dropping with each contraction. They turned off the pit thinking that he might not be tolerating it and that might be what was causing the deceleration. Almost right away my contractions were half as painful as they had been on the pit. It was heavenly. Jen had me change positions a few times thinking that maybe the baby's umbilicl cord was getting pinched and that's what was causing the drop in heartrate. She was right because all of the sudden his heartbeat was steady and fine. The bad news was that the pit got turned back on because my contractions were becoming more erratic. As soon as the pit was back on the contractions went back up in intensity.

The next few hours were kind of a blur. I labored in the tub for a bit but I didn't really like that. I spent a lot of time leaning over the bed while my amazing doula rubbed my back and my amazing husband held my hands and kept telling me over and over how proud he was of me. My IFs would pop in every so often to see how I was doing but I think it made them a little nervous to see me in so much pain. I was so glad that they were comfortable enough with letting me labor on my own without feeling the need to check in every three seconds. I think B is a good calming influence on J so it made a big difference that he was there.

Around 4 I finally caved in and asked for some IV pain meds. I'm so glad I did! I was having really, really intense, painful contractions every 3 minutes but I somehow managed to doze off in between them. I would kind of sleep for a couple of minutes then then a contraction would start and right away Jesse would jump up to hold my hand and Jen would rub my back. They did this for every single contraction I had for two hours. I don't think I would have made it through without them. I was so out of it that I kept wanting to tell them stuff but I couldn't really seem to make my mouth work. Several times I wanted to try to describe to them the funky dreams I was having but I couldn't make the words come out.

Remember that this is only my second birth and my first without an epidural so I really didn't know what to expect when it came time to push. All I know is that all of the sudden it went from "Is it ever going to be time to push this baby out?" to "Holy cow! It's time to push this baby out!". My IFs were called into the room and I started pushing. I mostly kept my eyes closed but at one point I looked around and was amazed at how many people were in the room. Me, Jen, Jesse, my doctor, a nurse, a student nurse, my IFs, a baby nurse, a student baby nurse, a student paramedic (maybe two even) and a guy with a mop. Ok, maybe not the guy with a mop but the rest of them were in there.

I pushed for about 20 minutes and holy crap, they are not kidding when they refer to it as "The ring of fire" are they? I was not aware of it at the time but the baby's heartbeat really dropped at the end and the doctor ended up giving me an episeotomy (something I had hoped to avoid) to get the baby out quicker. Little A came out with his cord wrapped around his neck but as soon as it was undone he was ok. The doctor tried to lay him on my tummy but I said no, to give him to his dads. A weighed in at 7 pounds 6 ounces and was 19 inches long.

The doctor started stitching me up and I was watching over his shoulder as my IFs held their new little boy. Jesse was holding my left hand and Jen was holding my right and I just sank back in bed and said "Oh, it's all good". (I'm getting weepy typing this out.) I was so happy to see my IFs with their son, I was so happy to be done with the labor, I was so proud of myself for doing it without the epi, I felt so much love and support from Jesse and Jen. I know it sounds cheesy but at that moment everything was just so good and so wonderful and so right.

The rest of my hospital stay was nice. It was nice to rest and get real sleep at night. I got tons and tons of cuddle time with A. We tried nursing but didn't have much success. J, being his typical nervous self, was worried that he wasn't getting enough to eat so he pretty much stuffed him full of formula around the clock. He would bring him to me to nurse with formula still still on his face. That was a little bit of a let down but it was still nice to hold him and be close to him. He's a really cute baby, looks a lot like his daddy. When it was time to say goodbye I really wasn't sad at all. I was suprised at how "ok" I really was. I was mostly just looking forward to getting back home with my own babies.

I'm so happy with how everything went. I admit I had pretty big expectations but everything really went even better than I could have hoped for. Now I'm just concetrating on resting and recovering (because I really did forget how sore you are after giving birth) and pumping (I'm up to about 5 ounces a session). Jesse has off from work until Monday so I really get to take it easy for a couple more days.

Hormones are making me weepy but I don't want to cry in front of anyone because I don't want anyone to think I'm sad. I'm not sad, I just find myself crying for no reason several times a day. It only lasts a minute or two and then I feel better but I'll be glad once my hormones kind of come back under control. I worry that people are going to think the wrong thing.

Anyway, I suppose this had been long enough. I need to go take a bath. Doctors orders.