Speaking Minnesotan

I think it's time for me to face the facts. I speak Minnesotan. I never wanted to do it but it was pointless to resist. I was born into it, there was no escape.

Minnesota, land of 10,000 lakes and 14,000 odd pronunciations.

I only lived in Minnesota for a couple of years before moving away but apparently the dialect made a big impression on me. No matter where I lived as I was growing up people would say "You're from Minnesota aren't you?" Depending on my mood I would respond with "Yah, sure! You betcha!" or "Nuhooooo!" (That's "no" to you non-Minnesotan speakers.)

The Minnesota dialect is a powerful thing but it's not the only influence on my speech. The six years that I lived in California did a number on the way I talk. My conversations skills have been seriously dumbed down by the fact that I can't get through two sentences in a row without throwing in a "you know" or "like" or "whatever". Here's a hint for all of you unfamiliar with the West coast. Californians aren't all stupid. They just sound that way.

I've also been effected by living on various Air Force bases for many of my formative years. I think of Jesse's boss as his "first shirt". I want things done asap. Not ASAP, asap. I sometimes think that I need to stop at the BX for something or other.

I don't think my time in Colorado had any effect on my accent at all. Colorado, like much of the middle of he country is kind of vanilla when it comes to accents. Why is that do you suppose? Why is it that the north, south, east and west have such strong, recognizable dialects while the middle of the country doesn't? How do they speak so normally with stupid speech patterns invading them from every side?

But I digress. The point is that I've finally come to accept my Minnesota dialect. It took living here for 11+ years but I've finally embraced my Minnesota speech. The other day I picked up something heavy and said "Oof-duh" without a hint of irony. I think I've fully assimilated.

Oh, one more thing. A quick tip for those of you non-Minnesotans who may someday find yourselves within our borders: If someone offers you a "salad" be prepared for the fact that whatever they give you will most likely contain jell-o and/or mini marshmallows.

I hope you've entered dat dere popcorn giveaway I've got going on right now. It ain't too bad a deal but it's endin' tonight.