To the person who stole my antenna ball

To the person who stole my antenna ball,
I am so glad that you got such a kick out of my Mickey Mouse antenna ball. We always enjoyed it too. I'm sure you'll enjoy how much easier it makes it to find your car in a crowded parking lot. That was one of the things that we liked most about it. In fact, just the other day my son remarked how when he came out of school he always looked for the antenna ball to help him find the car. I'm sure the tears he shed when he discovered the ball was missing were tears of joy. Joy that now someone else could get use out of something that we ...... weren't really done using.

Stealing that antenna ball certainly was clever of you! Where else in the world would you have found one if you hadn't taken the one off of our car? It not like you could have found one in a store or a catalog or ebay or Amazon or in 8 billion other places. And think of the money you saved yourself! Why, by stealing our faded old Mickey Mouse antenna ball you saved yourself the three or four dollars it would have cost you to buy a brand new one.

Enjoy your antenna ball! I hope it brings you as much pleasure as it brought us! And I certainly hope no one ever steals anything from you (even something that might seem small and insignificant) because it kind of sucks ass.