When it comes to school for Joseph I feel like I'm walking a fine line between coddling and facilitating. For example, Joseph's teacher realized very early into the school year that it wasn't really working for Joseph to take part in the daily group reading activity. It was too much for him, the noise the activity, the having to pay attention to what everyone else was saying. It was throwing his whole day off. The solution she came up with was to let Joseph is someone away from everyone else (like at her desk) and read his own book (often not even what the rest of the class is reading) to himself. It's a solution that works well for everyone because Joseph is already way ahead of his grade level in reading anyway and this way he's able to maintain that sense of order and control and personal space that he needs to function.
To me that is facilitating. We see his needs, look at his strengths, accept his limits and come to a solution that take all of those things into consideration. It allows him to be the best student he can be without forcing him to fit into the mold of a typical student, a role he just cannot play. Now if Joseph decided tomorrow that he wanted to go play Legos during reading time and I said ok to that then that would be coddling. I wouldn't be doing him any favors by letting him get away with less than he's able.
We had parent/teacher conferences last night and we heard the same thing we always hear. Joseph is very smart, he's a delight to have in class, the kids love him, he thrives in leadership roles and he will do pretty much anything required of him to get computer lab time. All of that was great to hear. I know what a wonderful kid he is and it's nice to hear other people say it too.
One thing about the conference bothered me though. It turns out Joseph is really struggling with cursive writing. If you've ever seen Joseph write you would know he struggles even with writing in print. Honestly, he writes like a toddler. I don't say that to mock him, it's just a matter of fact. His letters are large and floppy and sometimes backwards. To make it worse he's hard-wired himself to write certain letters in unusual ways. For example, when making a lower case "r" he makes the little arch over the top then goes back and makes the line down. A "g" is a misshapen circle with a backwards "c" beneath it. Translating those odd letter formations into a smooth, flowing way of writing is just not working for him. I honestly don't think he can do it.
And I'm wondering...... Does it matter? Does he need to learn to write cursive? Can't we just let him have his half-success at printing without making him stress about trying to master something that's beyond him? And really, who writes in cursive anymore anyway? When was the last time you used cursive for anything other than to sign your name? I don't even know if signing you name counts as cursive. Most people just sort of scribble anyway and someday Joseph can learn to do that on his own.
We have an IEP meeting coming up next month and I am very seriously considering asking that we just drop cursive writing out of his curriculum. Maybe when the rest of the class is working on cursive writing his para-professional can help him out with practicing printing. On the whole, school is such a positive experience for Joseph and I would hate for cursive writing to become a stumbling block.
So here's where I walk the line. By getting him out of cursive writing am I coddling him and making things too easy for him? Or am I facilitating a positive learning environment for him by making sure he's not facing insurmountable obstacles?
Jen
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