There should be a law

If I ran the world it would be illegal to operate a Krispy Kreme store within 10 miles of a pregnant woman. Yes, I know this would probably put them out of business but I think it would be the best thing in the long run. Damn them and their fried sugary goodness.

Cravings

I've been pretty lucky when it comes to cravings so far. Nothing too crazy and most of the time they're not too bad. For a while I was craving red meat all the time but that stopped. I still like mac and cheese with steak sauce but that's not too wierd. Is it? Aside from that one time I wanted (ugh) pork rinds (ugh) I haven't wanted anything too gross either. So, I've been pretty lucky in the craving department.

So why is it that today all I could think about was celery salt? If I had some in the house I would have probably just sprinkled it on my tounge. Honestly, I have never experianced anything like that craving. I don't even know if I like celery salt. I know there's a theory that says if you're craving something it's because your body needs it but ...... celery salt?

Help!

Someone needs to come over to my house and pry this box of cheese crackers out of my hands before I eat them all. Seriously, I'm like a crazy woman. I put them away but then they somehow end up in my hands again. I'm going to have to flush them down the toilet or something I think.

All better

I'm feeling a lot better today, the pain is down to a dull roar. Joseph and I were even able to take a nice, slow walk arond the block.

I have never had so many health problems in my life that I have has since I got pregnant. First off was the really bad morning sickness. Then the eye jelly problems. Then the bronchitis. Then the infection in my mouth. Now the torn muscle in my abdomen. I expect to be held together with string by the end.

Why do people say that you're pregnant for 9 months? It's 40 weeks, that makes 10 months in my book.

I like feeling the baby kick but I really don't like it when she kicks down. It's a really weird sensation. Hard to describe. It's not painful or uncomfortable, just strange.

Pregnancy is fun!

I finally got in to see my doctor today about this pain I've been having in my lower abdomen. The verdict? My muscles in my abdomen are stretching to make room for everything going on in there (as happens) and one particular muscle has developed a weak spot and come apart. Therefor every time I use the muscle it kind of comes apart and the stuff behind it bulges through.

It won't hurt the baby and after I give birth things will go back to normal. For now there's not a whole lot I can do. I asked the doctor what I could do to stop the pain and she said "Give birth". I can walk to try to strenghten the area but I have to stop if it hurts too bad. Should be interesting because today it hurt like a son of a gun just to walk across the room. I am never getting pregnant again!

On the upside, I am 6 months along today. Aside from the pain I'm feeling pretty good and things seem to be going well with the baby. I have gained another 5 pounds so that puts my official pregnancy weight gain at minus 7 pounds. Yipee! Still in the negative.

The baby kicks all the time! I can see my stomach bouncing all over the place now. Yesterday I was laying in bed and there was a bulge on the right side of my stomach. It's so bizzare, it just makes me laugh when I can see her moving around in there. She's gotten into the schedule of doing arobics right as I lay down to sleep at night.

Quick Joseph story - Last night at about 1:00 he wandered into my room, still fast asleep. He came up to the bed and (still sleeping) started to sing. "What do we want? A girl worth fighting for!" I took him to the bathroom and as he was peeing he was still singing "a girl worth fighting for!". I would love to peek inside his head to see what he dreams about.

Holla Back Boy

Can anyone give me a logical explanation for why Joseph would know the song "Hollaback Girl"? We heard it in the car while flipping through radio stations and he made me stop so he could listen to it. Then he sang it. I can't figure that out. It was pretty cute though.

Too hot

I went outside to check the mail and I was nearly melted by the hot wind blowing at me.

Joesph is laying on the couch naked as a jaybird. He says it's too hot for clothes and I say it's too hot for me to give a damn.

A man just rode his bike by the house and he was wearing a windbreaker jacket. I think he's crazy.

This smells goldy

Joseph saw that my toenails were painted and he wanted his done too. I let him pick out a color (he picked gold) and just did his big toes. He said "This stuff smells goldy and makes my feet look sparkly!" Then he asked me to paint his eyes.

We're totally freaking Jesse out.

I'm not fat, I'm just cold

From a week-by-week pregnancy site I visit:
"Your baby is almost completely formed (at 23 weeks), and is beginning to deposit brown fat on his or her body. The purpose of the brown fat is to retain body heat."

From now on when I have the craving for chocolate I'm going to give in to it because I think I might need more brown fat to get me through the winter. And never mind the fact that only newborns have brown fat, that it eventually goes away as we get a little older. I'm sticking to my claim that my butt needs to be this big to keep me from freezing to death.

Just to be clear, I didn't pass out at the doctors office when I saw the mole, I just was trying to say that I almost passed out thinking about it. It's making me all sweaty right now. uhhhhhhh....

Just look at ........ PLOP

I took Joseph in to see a dermetologist today to have a couple of moles looked at. One is er... was behind his ear. It's pretty large and when his hair is really short you can see it really well. Sometimes he picks at it and it gets all red and inflamed. More than once he has been standing around minding his own business and someone across the room will yell "He has a tick behind his ear!" Even after I explain it's just a mole they continue to shriek like mental patients that it looks like a mole. So I wanted to get it removed. (By the way, Jesse is against this for some reason. Why? Who knows, he'll have to expain it in his own blog ... that he doesn't have. So I'll just make up a reason: He has a mole behind his ear too and he wanted Joseph to be a member of his Mole Behind The Ear Club.)

The doctor aid it would be no problem to remove the mole and he could do it right then and there. He had Joseph lay down on the table and told him he was going to give him a little pock behind his ear. Joseph happily laid down and the nurse had him turn his head to look at me. The doctor gave him a little shot of novicane right on the mole and Joseph hardly even flinched. I, however, could not help noticing how hot it seemed to be getting in the room. Joseph held my hands and smiled his sweet little smile at me. I started to sweat buckets of ice cold sweat. The doctor took out the razor blade. Joseph chatted with the nurse about his new shirt. I gripped the table with one hand while holding Joseph's hands with the other. Everyone in the room was all smiles. Ok, mine was more of plastered on grimace but I was doing my best. The doctor brought the razor blade up to Joseph and the nurse said "Just look at Mommy!". I faintly mumbled "Just look at .... Mo .... mm......"

The next thing I remember was that the nurse had her hand on my back and was asking me if I needed to sit down. I was clutching on to Joseph's hands so tightly that I'm suprised I didn't break them. I don't think I actually passed out because I was still standing but the room definatly went black once I saw the doctor start slicing. I caught a look at myself in the mirror and I was pure white.

Once the doctor finished up and I had recovered a bit from the trauma of seeing a minor, routine procedure performed on my son the nurse talked to us about how to care for the spot where the mole had been. I was actually feeling pretty good until we were walking out of the room and I saw the razor blade with the mole still on it on a tray..........PLOP

Happy (belated) Father's Day!

I meant to post this on Sunday but I just didn't get around to it. I'm a slug.

So, Happy Belated Father's Day to Jesse and (or course!) my very own Dear Old Dad. In honor of Father's Day here are some Dad memories that I wanted to share.

1- When we lived in California we would go to The Fisherman's Wharf and Dad would always try to get Ben and I to eat these little marinated squid that he would buy. We always said no but he would always try. Finally he offered us a quarter to do it. I did, Ben did not. I can't remember how it tasted but I do remember how pleased Dad was that someone finally tried one. Now that I think about it I can't figure out what he was so determined to get us to eat those slimy little things.

2- I used to have these ceramic Raggety Ann book ends when I was little. One time Ben was in my room and broke them. I was so sad that Dad made up a song about a broken Raggety Ann. I don't remember how it went but I do know it made me feel better and I always wanted him to sing it after that. Dad also does a killer version of "Home, Home on the Range" ("They plaaa-aaay all daa-aaaay").

3- When I was on the swim team Dad (and Mom!) would come to every meet that Ben and I had. During every race Ben and I were in Dad would stand by the pool and yell for us. I can so clearly remember being underwater and not being able to hear anything except Dad's voice loudly cheering me on. Even though I kind of sucked as a swimmer he would always yell for me just as loudly as he did for Ben who was awesome.

4- This is not a specific memory, but it is one of my favorite things about Dad. We can talk for hours and hours about Disney stuff. How to have the perfect trip, what rides are the best, where you would eat if you only had one meal in DisneyWorld, what movie deserves it's own ride, the list goes on and on. You'll never meet someone who puts as much thought into Disney stuff as my Dad. He's always planning his next trip there even though he only gets to take one trip for every 10 he plans.

5- When I was 17 and wanting to buy my first car Dad was the one to take me car shopping. After a few fruitless outtings Dad came to see me at work one day. He had gone out and found the perfect car for me all on his own! Looking back I realize that it was probably easier to car shop without a moody 17 year old tagging along but it still meant a lot to me. It was a good car too and I had it until Jesse and I had been married for about 2 years.

6- I seem to have this vauge memory of Dad coming over to build new steps for our front door. Could that be because he did it this last Sunday? Oh yeah, that's right! My dad (and Jesse) spent Father's Day building new front steps for the house. He's done a ton of work on this house. Putting shelves in Joseph's closet, putting HUGE shelves in the basement, fixing the shower drain (that invloved tearing down a wall), ripping out plaster walls and putting up sheetrock in Joseph's room, the list goes on and on.

I LOVE my dad. He's such an amazing person, so funny and generous and laid back and handy (the man can fix anything!). I feel very lucky to have him as a father and very lucky to have him as a Grandpa for my kid(s). Joseph wanted to add something too:

Thank you for taking me to the movies. I like going to your house. You're a good fixer. Thank you for fixing the new steps. It's very fun when you play with me all the time. You are good at computer games. You made me a shirt. That's all. Love, Joseph.

I love you Dad!

France, India and South Dakota

Last night I was giving Joseph a bath and I had put in one of those tablets that changes the water colors. He was sitting there kind of staring into the water then he turned to me and said "When I was in France we didn't have enough food to eat so sometimes we pretended to eat colors." I asked him what happened after he was in France and he said he then went to India and then South Dakota after that. That all led to an interesting conversation today.

Joseph: Remember when I was in France?
Me: No, I don't remember that but I remember you telling me about it.
J: Then I was in India.
M: Yeah, how did you get there from France?
J: I don't know.......
M: Did you have the same family?
J: Not all the same but the same Mommy and Daddy. (long pause) I had the same parents in South Dakota too. (long pause) And then here too.
M: You mean me and Daddy?
J: Yeah. We were all the same but ...... (loooong pause) we looked different and we talked different and we had different hair.
M: What else do you remember?
J: Well, I went to French school in France but I liked India and South Dakota the best because I could do whatever I wanted. Can we go to Burger King now?

And that was the end of that.

It's strange when I think of all the stuff that happen to bring Joseph to us. It's almost like it was meant to be because we were supposed to be together. I don't know, maybe I'm just weird to think that stuff.

Cops: Waite Park

Jesse and I spent about 2 hours last night watching police run back and forth with police dogs in front of our house last night. The police helicopter kept circling above and shining it's light in our yard. There was a cop parked right in front of our garage and he kept shining his flashlight into our trees. At nearly 3:00 we heard dogs barking frantically and a bunch of police started heading down the alley of the block kitty-corner to us. After a few minutes they led someone out in handcuffs and but him in a police car. Then Jesse and I went out on the porch to try to hear what they were saying but between the noise of everyone in the neighborhood having their air conditioners on we weren't able to hear much other than that they spotted they guy by seeing his shoes poking out from somewhere.

I've looked online but whatever happened doesn't seem to be posted anywhere. So, if anyone knows what happened outside my house last night please let me know.

What's this all about?

There's a cop car sitting right outside our house and three more at the other end of the block. There's also a helicoptor that's been circling overhead for about 15 minutes now. Jesse called the Waite Park police to ask what was going on and all they said was to not leave the house and to report any suspicious activity. Creepy.

Updates later.

Weird

They can do some pretty amazing things with ultrasounds now. Check this out: http://www.baby-insight.com/babies.html
I'm not sure I would want one of those pictures because if I saw my baby all squishy looking like that I might get sad that my kid was so ugly.

My funny kids

The baby has been moving around like crazy the past few days. Last night I was taking a bath and she was all over the place. I laid really still and pretty soon I could see my belly bouncing around a little bit. That was pretty cool. She must have been doing flips in there because I could feel her more than I ever could before. I just had to kind of laugh every time my belly moved. It's so surreal.

Today was the Waite Park city-wide garage sale and Joseph and I went out looking for baby things. We found pretty much nothing. Nothing but Beanie Babies that is. We saw them nearly everywhere we went. At one garage sale I was paying for some Beanies and Joseph was playing a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot game with this other little boy at the sale. The other kid won and Joseph turns to me and happily says "I didn't win but that's ok because I still have my imagination and no one can ever take that from me!" Talk about surreal.

Joseph is a winner

So Joseph won for his age group in the Waite Park Kiddie Parade. He looked so cute driving his little 4 wheeler with his little float behind it. He was waving and smiling his little heart out. At the end when they announced he was the winner he just went running up to get his prize and he had the biggest grin on his face. He won a $20 gift certificate to Coborns that I told him he can use however he wants. I'll have to take him in tomorrow and let him spend a few dollars on whatever he wants to buy. I'm guessing we're going to have a house full of Scooby Doo yogurt, fruit snacks and cookies.

Greatest Americans

Ok, Ben insisted I do this so I'll do my best. I have no idea what makes an American "Great" so bear with me. I'm kind of thinking along the lines of who had the most influance over America and it's culture.

Presidents-
George Washington
Abraham Lincoln
Teddy Roosevelt
Thomas Jefferson
I wish I could think of a more contemporary president but I can't. I refuse to list JFK because people only think he's great because he was killed. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Military-
Dwight Eisenhower
Douglas McArthur

Inventors/Buisnessmen-
Albert Einstein
Thomas Edison
The Wright Brothers
Henry Ford
Bill Gates

Other Fields-
Walt Disney
Martin Luther King
Lewis and Clark
Mark Twain
Susan B Anthony
Fredrick Douglas
Steven Spielburg
Dr Spock (the baby guy, not the Star Trek guy)

People who almost made the list:
Elvis - He's kind of an icon but did he really influance American culture? Yeah, I guess so but having you life end with your head in a toilet does not = great in my book.
Oprah - She mentions a book and it becomes a best seller. She mentions a product and it sells out at stores. She mentions a cause and the money comes pouring in. She's not a terrible actress. She came very close but in the end I decided she's become pretty insane lately and that's not so great.
The Wal-Mart guy - Probably the most important American buisiness man ever. To bad the company he started is ruining America. No list for him! The same goes for the guy who started McDonalds.

So there's my list. I wish I could have come up with some important people in the fields of education, medicine and art but I can't.

One of those days

Today was one of those days that had me thinking "And why do I want 2 of these things running around the house?". Joseph was a holy terror at the Dr's office. He was running back and forth screaming about a healthy colon and trying to open all the drawers. When I pulled him over and told him knock it off he started crying and saying "I'm a bad man! That's why you call me Mr Rotten!".

Anyway, it looks like getting Joseph in to see any kind of specialist to get him an "official" diagnosis is going ti be a huge pain in the ass. The one person in St Cloud who does that is not accepting any new patients at this time. That means we'll probably have to see someone in the cities but even that can take up to a year to get in to see someone. The best part is that we won't even be able to get him into a therapist until he's gotten some kind of flippin' diagnosis. The whole thing is so frustrating! I was nearly in tears when his doctor was telling me all this. How can it be so difficult to get someone to look at him and say "This is what you're dealing with and this is how we can help him?" Augh. I'm really in a bad mood now.

Joseph stuff

Joseph grinds his teeth so much that I'm worried he's going to have them down to little nubs by the time they are supposed to fall out. His dentist said he would probably grow out of it but it has only gotten worse. When he's asleep in his room we can clearly hear him in our room, that's how loud it is. I asked my chiropractor about it and she suggested I bring Joseph in for an adjustment. So on Wednesday Joseph is going to have his first chiropractor appointment. There's no spot in the baby book for that.

Here's what Joseph has to say: I'm watching tv. I like pie. I like puppies. Daddy eated one of Mommy's cookies. I'm watching tv. That's all. This is from Joseph. I like Velma. I have 100 babies in my tummy.

What's new?

Well, let's see. The Relay for Life went really well. In addition to the money we raised before the relay we raised nearly $100 there doing Reiki. Our silent auction stuff sold and raised some good money too I think. I won a bottle of root beer and a certificate for a free pizza. All in all a pretty successful day.

On Wed. Joseph is going to be in the Waite Park Kiddie Parade. Mom and Dad made him a float that he's going to pull along behind him on his little 4 wheeler. The theme of it is "Halloween in June". It's pretty cute. He's been practicing his parade wave and asking me every 3 seconds if it's time for the parade now? Now? Now? How about now?

Joseph has some kind of nasty, hacking cough going on. He has a doctors appointment tomorrow but for now he's pretty unhappy. He also feels a little bit warm so I'm keeping him full of Tylenol and juice and trying to get him to rest. Luckily there is a Sponge Bob marathon on TV today.

Last year we had a couple of ants in out kitchen and I put out some Terro and the problem went away in about 2 days. Yesterday I noticed 2 ants on a kitchen window and I put out a little bit of Terro. When I went back in later there were ants all over the stuff. I could watch those ants all day. They come marching up all serious like and start to drink. Then you can see their little bellies (?) start to swell up. When they're full they stagger off like they're drunk and then 2 more come and take their place. I put out more stuff this morning but there haven't been any ants there yet. I hope that takes care of that.

I'm 22 weeks pregnant now. By now the baby weighs about 15 ounces and is nearly 11 inches long and has developed eyebrows. Also, the baby's first little poop is developing. How sweet! I feel her move all the time now. Most often I feel her early in the afternoon or late at night. Babies at this stage get hiccups all the time so that's probably what I'm feeling.

Run Dick Run

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2957 - This is some pretty funny stuff. It's a buch of spoofs of the old Dick and Jane books. WARNING - not for the easily offended or faint of heart. Also, do not click on any other links on the site unless you are willing to be horrifed and shocked. But this is still funny.

Two conversations with Joseph

It started yesterday-

Me: Joseph, this is going to be our last summer with just you and me and Daddy. We have to do lots of fun stuff together don't we?
Joseph: Like what?
Me: We can go swimming or to a museum or back to the zoo. What else can you think of?
J: How about washing an old man?
M: Huh? Where would we find an old man?
J: Maybe in South America.

And then today-

Joseph: Mommy, can we get some Dawn dishwashing liquid?
Me: Why?
J: Because it's tough on grease and soft on hands.
M: We already have some dishwashing liquid.
J: Well, maybe we can use it on that old man we're going to wash this sumer!

My kid is a freak.

Tasty!

Doesn't mac n' cheese smothered with steak sauce sound like the best thing ever?

Oh my god, I'm going to be pregnant forever. Check out my ticker. It's never going to end.

Is anyone even reading this thing anymore?

Congratulations!

Congratulations to my Relay for Life team! We raised $2256. Thank you all for your great work! A big thank you also to everyone who donated money to the team.

It's a gas

This afternoon I spent a half hour doubled over in pain on the kitchen floor. I couldn't even move because I had such a sharp, shooting pain in my abdomen. I was covered in sweat, shaking, unable to catch my breath and honestly thinking I was going to pass out. I was scared but I couldn't even go and get the phone because if I moved the pain got about 10 times worse. Then, just as suddenly as it came, it was gone.

So, what was it? Gas.

Yeah, gas. Killer-monster gas, but gas all the same. It was bizzare because the pain was so bad that I was honestly scared that there was something wrong with the baby. In retrospect I'm glad I couldn't get to the phone because if I had called Jesse and he had come home to rush me to the hospital I would have been pretty humilated when they looked at me and said "Yeah, you just need to fart.".

And just to be clear, in case anyone thinks I'm over-reacting, this really, really, really hurt. Since I can't really find the words to describe it, just believe me. It was bad.

Pixar calling

I just got a phone call from someone asking to speak to Nemo. When I said there was no on here by that name they said "Are you sure? Nemo Marlin?"

Um, yeah. I'm pretty sure Nemo Marlin doesn't live here. And neither does Flick, Boo, or any of the Incredibles.

Happy Birthday Ben!

Happy birthday Ben! Welcome to the "Oh My God, I Can't Believe I'm Almost 30" club.

Oh, and for anyone who's interested, I'm feeling better.

Yuck

I don't know if I'm even going to leave this entry up or not, I just want to get it all out.

I am so down right now. I feel like I'm always on the verge of crying and in fact I do cry several times a day. Most of the time it's without any good reason. I think I've been very short with Jesse and Joseph because I just feel so rotten all the time. It's actually making me feel tired and sluggish.

The strange thing is that I can't think of any reason why I feel this way. We're all doing well. The baby seems to be healthy, Joseph is happy and doing well in school/therapy, we've been doing lots of stuff together as a family and we don't have anything like financial problems hanging over our head. In a way it just makes things worse that I know I don't have any reason to feel this way.

I don't know if this is just some kind of strange mood swing caused by the pregnancy or what but it really sucks. It's been getting worse for the last week or so and I don't really know what to do. I'm not looking for pity or anything but a word of advice or a kind word of encouragement might really help right now. I don't know. This blows.

Now I seem to have a flipping nose bleed.

So cute

Last night I was in the kitchen with Jesse and Joseph was in the living room playing with his train set and I could hear him singing a little song. I couldn't pick up everything he said but one part was "just me and my little sister". How sweet is that?

Everywhere we went today Joseph told everyone that we are going to be having a "new girl baby". He's very excited about the whole thing.

Today at OT joseph drew a picture of himself. I was amazed. It had a head, a shirt, legs, arms, hands, feet, eyes, mouth (kind of), a tounge and a "cute button nose". I have hardly ever seen him draw a complete smiley face before. The drawing took a little bit of prompting from his therapist to complete but he did suprisingly well.

Dad- That site you posted in the comment section carries a "Disney Princess Canteen Action". Well, the baby needs a "Disney Princess Canteen Action". Whatever the heck that is.

ADDED LATER
I just got a call from the doctors office confirming that everything looks good with the baby. All the measurments and pictures show that the baby looks healthy. That's good to hear.

Have I mentioned that I am totally excited that the baby is a girl? I can't wait to meet her.