And I used to look so stylish

I have a grey crewneck tee but I don't like to wear it anymore because I don't want people to think I got it for free by ordering a pair of pajama jeans.


Two years ago today I went to the gym.
Three years ago today I was creeped out by E.T.

Easy Feet!

Two questions: 1 Why does that guy have his shoe in the shower?  2 How gross is it that that woman is bathing in a tub full of bubbles, rose petals and DEAD SLOUGHED OFF FOOT SKIN?!?!

Easy Feet!  For people who have way too much shower gel and are bad at life.

(This commercial makes me wonder about my own foot cleansing routine.  Up until now I've just been waving a wet washcloth at my feet when I shower.  Please don't tell Jody M.)

Two years ago today Joseph did not think i I was photogenic.
Three years ago today I was undecided about Elle.
Five years ago today Joseph might have been a racist.

Where in the hell is my dad?

If you are a regular reader of this blog you know that I'm pretty much an open book.  There's not a whole lot about myself that I won't talk about.  There is one area where I've always held back though.  Oh, don't pretend you don't know what I'm taking about.  I know that you've read my blog and thought to yourself "Well that's a great story about her cervix and all but why hasn't she ever talked about ... you know, that thing she never talks about?"

You're in luck folks. Today is the day I break down that final barrier.

Today is the day ... I post a video ... of my dad ... dancing.

It's a parody of the Where In The Hell Is Matt? videos that the college my dad works at put together for student orientation.  If you want to get right to the best part skip to 3:39 to see my dad. He's the one who stops dancing to point at the car.  Not even his job (which pays him and requires him to do things) could force him to dance for three seconds in a row.

There.  Now there are no more secrets between us.  I know I feel much better now.  How my dad will respond to this remains to be seen.

Updated to add: When I showed this video to the kids Elle said "How did Paga do that?  When we went to New York did he come to our house and sneak into our computer?"  My baby is crazy smart ya'll.

One year ago today I found out I was pregnant with twins.
Three years ago today a pharmacist tried to wound me.

The visible spectrum is full on

Once upon a time there was a guy who loved rainbows. I mean, he REALLY loved rainbows. Like, he made sex noises when he saw them.

Then the Huffington Post took note of him and he became an internet celebrity.

Cake Wrecks even got in on the act.

Then someone made a music video out of it. A video that I have played so many times that my children can now sing along with it.

The moral of this story? If you insist on sobbing about rainbows be sure you're video taping yourself while doing it. You could become the next internet sensation.

Alternate moral? Crazy people are really into rainbows.

Woman's Last Stand

If you watched the Super Bowl you probably saw this horrible ad suggesting that men have been so emasculated that the only way they can assert themselves is to drive a great big manly car.
Oh my god! Some woman is making them do things. Horrible things like cleaning up after themselves and sorting recycling!

Here's a brilliant response to that ad. (Be aware it's not exactly safe for little ears or at work.) (Be especially careful if your co-workers have little ears.)

One year ago today Joseph was weird.

Randomness and links and youtube... oh my!

First off, I guess today is some kind of blog delurking day or something. I don't know, no one ever tells me about this stuff. Because I enjoy a good delurking as much as the next person I'm going to ask you to comment today. To help encourage you I am going to donate $1 for every comment I get on this post to Doctors Without Borders.

*****

Pat Robertson is a dick. True story.
My feelings about Pat Robertson are pretty much the same as my feelings on Jerry Falwell. And I don't want to hear about how he needs to be left along because at least his organization is doing some good and blah blah blah. Being involved with a charity does not give you a "Get Our Of Asshole Territory Free" card. Dave says it all better than I could.

*****

Can Muslims be good Americans? Avitable knows the answer to this age old question.

*****

After my post about how my in-laws not supporting my surrogacy I got some amazingly kind and supportive emails. I won't go into details here but trust me, they were awesome. The support I got in the comments of that post was overwhelming to me as well. Everyone should have such kindness directed their way once in a while. To top it all off I got a call from J&B the next day. They just wanted to say hi and thank me yet again for my part in bringing Little A into this world. See? It is all good. It really is.

*****

Brad and Angelina have donated one million dollars to Doctors Without Borders to support their relief efforts in Haiti. That's pretty impressive. Now I almost feel a little bad for laughing at Mr and Mrs Smith preview. Almost. If you want to be a philanthropist like Brad and Angelina but don't have a million dollars of your own check out what Pioneer Woman has going on. She's donating 10 cents for every comment PLUS having a giveaway giving two $500 donations to the charity of the winner's choice. Not too shabby.

*****

In news from closer to home, yesterday Elle and I both wore red, long sleeved shirts. Hers was a turtleneck, mine was not. She noticed this and said "Hey! We're wearing the same shirts except mine has little bumpers on the neck to keep my head safe!" I like how her brain works.

*****

Stephen Baldwin - kind of a lunatic. Who could have seen that one coming?

*****

This is Joseph's current favorite youtube video. You should hear him belt it out.

*****

Don't forget that every comment left on this scatter-shot post will generate a $1 donation to Doctors Without Borders. You can feel free to retweet that or whatever it is you crazy social media suave bloggers do. Remember, every dollar I donate to Doctors Without Borders is one less dollar I spend on chocolate cake. So come on, do it for my jeans!

One year ago today I went to L.A.
Two years ago today I made a birth plan.

King Ding

Last night I attended a Rifftrax event with the town's hip crowd. (aka my brother, cousin and uncle) One of the best parts was when they showed a commercial for the classic toy known as Dingalings. You remember Dingalings don't you? No? Well I'm not sure exactly when they came out but I'm guessing they weren't on toy shelves long before someone realized how horribly penis-centric they were and had them yanked*.

I found a version of the commercial on youtube. Watch and enjoy. Be sure to keep an eye out for Fireman Dingaling with pumping action, Spy Dingaling with his amazing crotch camera and King Ding who sucks another Ding up into his... well, just watch and see.

*Ahahahahahaha!

One year ago today we got a new couch.
Two years ago today I had birth plans.

Shhhh! It's a secret!

I've discovered that a funny thing happens why you lose your voice. When you whisper to people, they whisper back to you. Even if the thing you whisper to them is "I've lost my voice."

"Oh no!" they whisper back.

People, it's not Everything Is A Secret Day. I've just lost my voice. YOU can still talk.

Anyway. You know what makes me smile? Youtube. I mean, not everything on youtube because most of it is stupid and pointless but there are a few gems out there that make me smile no matter how many times I've seen them. My favorites are:

The wedding dance video. I know, I know. Everyone has seen this a million times but I have to share it. I love seeing people happy and having a good time and everyone in this video just looks so into the whole thing. I cry when the bride comes out.


Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent. Remember when this woman shocked the world by being able to sing despite being overweight, middle aged and a little bit frumpy? I do because I watch this video all the time. Watch Simon fall in love at 1:27.


Baby laughing at Wii Golf. Baby laughter is good for the soul.


Evolution of Dance. It's funny and I sort of dance along in my seat when I watch this.


Evolution of Dance wedding video. I love this couple's take on the previous video. And what a story this couple will have to tell their grandchildren someday. "You see Sally, grandma and I used our first dance as a married couple to pay tribute to a video some random had posted on youtube."


Joseph sings Jackson. The best youtube video ever.