Wednesday, January 18, 2006


Joseph was watching a show on the Disney channel this morning and during a commercial I saw something that made my my blood run cold. It was a video with the little girl from the Cosby show (the youngest one who played Olivia, Raven Symone or whatever her hame is) singing "Under the Sea" from The Little Mermaid. Why? Why? Why why why why why why why?

Why does the world need that? Why take a perfecly fine little song and ruin it like that? Why does Disney insist on bastardising all of it's best stuff? I would love to sit in on a meeting where the company big wigs decide to do this crap. I think it would go a little something like this......

Disney Guy 1: Hey, Cinderella is a classic movie loved by young and old alike. How can we capitalize on that?
Disney guy 2: How about making Cinderella 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6? We can have Jessica Simpson do the songs!
Disney Guy 1: That's good but what about some of our newer movies? How can we make more money off of those?
Disney Guy 3: I know! Let's take a popular character ..... oh, let's say Stitch for example, and slap him on all of our old stuff to make it new and exciting. And let's have him read the announcments on the monorail it Disney World. If the Momorail is good, the Monorail plus Stitch can only be better. We'll have Ashley Simpson sing a song about it.
Disney Guy 1: Ok, so we've got the Classics and the new movies covered but how do we come up with new and fresh ideas for future products?
Disney Guy 2: Instead of coming up with new ideas let's just keep making sequels to the old ones. We can use the same ideas over and over and over. Or, even better, let's re-release the old movies with added scenes that are unneeded clunky and add a new "rediscovered" song. It can be sung by Raven Symone!
Me: You're all fired. Get the hell out of here.

Yeah. So that's that. I'm a pretty serious Disney fan so they should really listen to what I have to say. All I'm trying to do is keep them from ruining their company. At the very least they should stop having Raven Symone sing remakes of Disney Classics. That's just a bad idea.

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