Why am I still up?

Today I was feeding Elle and trying to eat lunch at the same time. I was also trying to get Joseph to get ready for school. I would give Elle a bite, take a bite, tell Joseph for the 8 millionth time to go potty, give her a bite, take a bite, tell Joseph for the 8 millionth and first time to go potty and so on. At one point I got mixed up and I stuck a spoonful of Elle's sweet potatoes in my mouth. Gag. How do babies eat that stuff? She likes it though. She shrieked with delight in between each bite I gave her. Wouldn't it be funny if everyone ate like that? If we were eating something we really liked we would just scream out loud? Awesome.

A few days ago we got a wedding invitation in the mail. I had no idea who the people getting married were and Jesse said it was someone in his family but he's not 100% sure who she is or how she's related to him. Then yesterday I get in invitation to her shower. Um. Yeah. I've never even met this person. At the bottom of the invite it says "Cash gifts are also accepted". A little tacky, no? I don't think I'm gonna make the hour+ drive to sit in a room full of people I don't know so that I can give someone I've never met a cash gift. Maybe I'm just being bitchy but I thought that was weird.

Cutest thing ever

Joseph's bus will be here any minute but for right now he's laying on the floor next to Elle. They're just looking at each other and giggling. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen. She babbles at him and then he says "Oh Elle! So many stories for such a little girl!" and then they both giggle and giggle. Cuteness overload!

Hooray!

We have a school for Joseph! Hooray! It's an all day program at a really good school and I am so, so excited. We'll have to drive him to and from school but it will work out where Jesse can drive him in the morning on the way to work. Exciting!

I was thinking about how strange it's going to be for Joseph to be gone for like 7 hours a day. I'm going to miss having my little guy around. He's too little to be away from me that long. Ack! I changed my mind about school! I'll just keep him home with me forever.

What a pain

Elle has an ear infection. Awwwwww, baby's first infection. She's such a trooper. The only clue she gave that she was in pain was that on Sunday night she tried to claw the left side of her face off. Otherwise she acted like nothing was wrong. She was pretty much her same sunny self.

Yesterday Joseph got off the bus with a concerned look on his face. When I asked him what was wrong he said "Today was just not my day! First, my tape was coming off and I wanted to take it off all the way but my teacher said it was still on enough. Then, my school friend Hunter said I was cheating in line and all I was doing was walking by! I'm just saying that today was not my day."

Once again, oh the drama of it all. (Hello to Canadian Jen, lover of overly-dramatic children and Starting Over. Not that anyone really loves Starting Over because it's a terrible show and someday I'll get into that more.)

Jesse is slowly recovering from his massive eyeball injury. He has plans to stop being a great big baby about the whole thing very soon now. As a side note, I used to keep another blog and that one had a pretty good sized readership. I used to write all kinds of stuff about Jesse and that stuff was always the stuff people responded to the most. If I went to long without writing about him people would write comments begging me to tell another story about the amazing man-boy. (Don't goggle it, the diary has been long deleted and the results you get will only disturb you.) Anyway, the stories were greatly exaggerated for comic effect and people always seemed to like them. I miss that about this blog. It's fun to have a forum to "talk" to people but I miss the ability to tell a silly semi-true story without worrying about offending or hurting someone. Maybe I need to start another blog so I can talk crap about all the people I know. Maybe not. I have a hard enough time making myself update this one sometimes.

100% true story

When Jesse was putting Joseph to bed tonight I asked him if he could take Elle with him as he read bedtime stories. That way they could both be read to and I could have a few minutes of freedom from my whiny and snotty kids. (Not that they're always whiny and snotty, it's just that they have colds right now.) He told me he couldn't because he didn't feel good because this morning as he was walking out to the car the strap on his man-purse broke and it hit him in the eye.

Totally true. I swear it.

Happy Birthday to me!

In honor of my 29th birthday here are 29 facts that you might not know about me:
1- I still have 2 baby teeth in my mouth. I dont' have any permenant teeth to replace them.
2- I'm allergic to the skin on apples.
3- I have never, in my entire life, purchased a tomato, an olive or a mushroom.
4- I close as I can remember I have moved about 15 times in my life.
5- I've had surgery to correct a lazy eye.
6- I almost always remember my dreams.
7- The only video games I have ever beaten are Theme Hostpital and Kingdom Hearts.
8- The person I would most like to meet in the whole world is the Dalai Lama.
9- My favorite poem is "Annabelle Lee" by Poe.
10- My secret guilty pleasure is watching Starting Over.
11- I like to take two Double Stuffed Oreos, take one part of the cookie off each and then stick them together to make quadruple stuffed Oreos.
12- My secret wish and ambition is to own a dog sled team and compete in the Alaskan Iditarod. (That's right, I hate the cold and physical activity of almost all kinds and I want to compete in the most challenging slde dog race ever.)
13- I'm still afraid of things hiding under my bed so when I go to bed I try to get in from as far away as possible so that nothing can reach out and grab my ankles.
14- Whenever I go to see a movie I forget what I'm there to see during the previews.
15- I used to have a huge paper doll collection and I sold it at a garage sale (probably for $1). I would kill to have those paper dolls back.
16- I often imagine what it would be like to shave my head.
17- Although I've never been stung I am terrified of bees.
18- I don't own a pair of winter boots.
19- I have a hard time sleeping without socks on, even in the summer.
20- I would like to have 4 more children. All boys.
21- I think Paris Hilton and Bratz dolls are destroying little girls in America.
22- I hate romantic comedies (not including Love Actually).
23- When I was a kid and I had to clean my room I would pretend that I was a maid cleaning the room of a rich kid. I would talk to myself in a British accent.
24- I always drive the speed limit.
25- I believe in ghosts.
26- I think hot chocolate is gross unless it has peppermint schnapps in it.
27- If I could only eat one food for the next year it would be my mom's fettucinni. (Of course I would weigh about 400 pounds at the end of the first year....)
28- Tom Hanks is my favorite actor and Kate Winslet is my favorite actress.
29- If I could have any job in the whole world I would like to be an Imagineer.

So there you go. I feel closer to you somehow now. I have to go though. Jesse remembered it was my birthday (thanks Judy) and brought me home Japanese food for lunch.

What gives?

So the real question is, did Jesse totally forget that today is my birthday or is he just waiting until later to mention it?

Ben, go ahead and post your spoiler laden review of AFFC. I just won't read it because I'm desperatly hanging on to that last little shread of hope that something interesting will happen. I figure I can't be spending this much time reading about so and so's bannerman and all their families and all their coat of arms and all their friends and their families and bannerman and coat of arms for nothing. It has to pay off sometime. Right?

I wish I was a baby

What made Elle laugh yesterday? When I said "Uh-oh" after I spilled some paint. What made Elle laugh this morning? When She pulled my hair and I said "No no Elle, don't pull my hair." What made Elle laugh this afternoon? When she pulled a blaknet over her head and I peeked under it to look at her? What will make Elle laugh tonight? Jesse stubbing his toe? Me dropping the remote comtrol? A piece of dust floating by? Sometimes I wish I could be a baby and be so easily amused.

Plus, I could wear cute little sundressed and when people remarked about how fat my thights were it would be a good thing. People love babies in fat thigh revealing sundresses. If you're a fat thighed baby in a sundress people smile and coo at you and try to feed you ice cream. If you're a fat thighed woman my age in a sundress people just point and laugh.

It's been a day

You know the kind of day where your 6 month old poops so much that it comes out the top of her diaper and as you're trying to take her shirt off she wiggles around and the poop ends up in her hair? Then she grabs your hair and she has poop on her hands so then you have poop in your hair too? Then as you're cleaning her off she poops even more? Then, when you think she's all clean you realize she has poop in her ear?

How about one of those days where after the poop fiasco your 5 year old sits on the porch and dumps an entire new bottle of bubbles all over himself? Then, as you strip him down to his underwear every person in town walks by and he keeps screaming "I'm a bad person!"? Then, you go to put the bubble soaked clothes with the dirty laundry and you hear your kid on the porch singing only when you get closer you realize that he's not singing, that he's really standing on the porch in his underwear yelling "penis" as loud as he can over and over?

You know those kind of days? You ever have one? Someone please tell me that they've had this kind of day before. Please.

Dramatic much?

I had this conversation with Joseph today:

Joseph: Daddy said he wanted a good report about how I did at therapy.
Me: I don't think he's going to be to happy then.
Joseph: I should have been a good listener.
M: Yes, you should have.
J: Daddy's not going to like this.
M: No, probably not.
J: (long pause) I guess I'll have to hide my secret forever then.

Oh the drama of it all.

Hot or Not? for Pam

This one is for Pam. Let's start it off with a cheap shot shall we?

Look, it's Little Red Riding Ho!


Ok, this one cracks me up because between the dazed look on her face, her mussed hair and her strange position it looks like the picture was taken just as she was getting up after falling down the stairs.


Why would you post a picture of yourself with a massive booger in your nose? Photoshop that thing out of there!


Beause nothing says "hot" like a photo of you visiting Grandma at the home.


Crack is hot ya'll.


I bet this guy's a real riot. I bet his cubicle at work is plastered with Dilbert cartoons. I bet he has a t-shirt that says "Will golf for food". I bet the thinks Jay Leno is really funny. I bet he eats white bread. I want to punch this guy in the head.

Overall, pretty good

All things considered we had a pretty good weekend. Saturday was Amanda's wedding shower and that went well. I think people had fun and Amanda got some really good gifts. The food turned out well and people seemed to like the stuff I made. Who knew lavander cupcakes would be so good?

Before the shower I went with Amanda when she went for her wedding hair-do trial run. It was lots of fun and she looked so pretty. She got me a early birthday present, an italian charm bracelet. I love it! It has a charm with Joseph's birthstone, one with Elle's birthsone, one with the stone from the month Jesse and I were married, our initials, one with a butterfly and one that says "I love chocolate". How cute is that?

Today we went to the mall and I lost about 20 pounds when I got about 10 inches of hair cut off. I also lost another pound when I had my wooly eyebrows waxed. I look so girly. It's kind of nice.

Elle sat on her own for about 20 seconds today. Yikes! She's getting so big. I miss my little baby who was happy just laying on my chest and sleeping all day. Oh well. I bought her a pretty dress for Easter/upcoming weddings. I love having a little girl to spoil.

Now I'm going to go watch the Sopranos and eat leftover shower fudge. Life is sweet.

A sad day

Jesse's grandmother passed away early this morning. I don't have the grace and finesse to discuss something like this on a blog mostly devoted to talking about baby poop so I don't really know what else to say about that.

I won't be taking Joseph to the funeral, he's just to sensitive. He sobbed the other day when I had to throw away a houseplant that I was unable to keep alive. Death is just to much for him to handle right now. Bless his little heart, he's just too sweet for his own good.

Get it Ben?

Time to start researching brontosaurus schools I guess. No word back from the other school yet. I'll give it till tomorrow before I fully throw in the towel.

Poop

Well, poop. Joseph did not get picked in the lottery for the school we want him to go to. We're still going to try to do a little more wrangling and stuff in the next few days but it's not looking good. Not only did he not get in the class but we are nearly on the bottom of the waiting list. Argh. I'm too frustrated to talk about it right now. Maybe more later.

Lost my voice

I've lost my voice. It's from a cold, not from yelling at Joseph. We don't yell in our house. And by "we", I mean "I". Jesse yells at Joseph sometimes. I don't. Although, I did have to yell at both of them the other day for yelling at each other while I was on the phone with my mom (who was not yelling). It's the loud and obnoxious circle of life.

Another fricken cold

I've spent the better part of today hacking up large, yellow globs of goo. I don't know if it counts as another cold or just a continuation of the endless cold I've had this winter. I'm so tired of being sick.

Elle has a cold too so she's been sleeping in her swing at night. It keeps her upright otherwise she coughs and coughs and wakes herself up. I've been sleeping on the couch so I can keep an eye on her. Of course I wake up every time she makes the tinniest noise. It's good times.

We found out tomorrow if Joseph will get into the school we want him to or not. I don't have a good feeling about it but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'll update when I know something.