Um, forget what I said

Forget what I said yesterday about not pumping anymore. On the advice of my commentors and an emailer and I doula/friend I am going to stop pumping gradually rather than go cold turkey. Of course that makes more sense, I just needed someone to point that out me.

For anyone who doesn't understand why J as acting this way about the whole thing, I have to say that I agree. I don't totally get it myself. I know that he likes the ideaof breast milk but I think the lack of an ingredient list is what makes him nervous. I've never in my whole life met someone so paranoid about toxins and contaminants. Let's not forget that this is the guy who didn't want me taking any pregnancy-approved, baby-safe stool softeners while I was pregnant. (I guess he prefered I just didn't poop for nine months.)

The thing is, I really like J. He's a nice guy. And now that A is here J and I have gotten a lot closer. Now that he doesn't have to be nervous about the whole pregnancy he and I have really become friends. There's no longer that tension that was caused by him always worrying that I might be doing something wrong and me always feeling like I wasn't being trusted. But now the breast milk has become something else for J to worry about and for me to feel bad about. So I still think it's time to stop. Just more slowly than I planned to.

B and I have always gotten along well but I've always had less contact with him than with J. Yesterday I got an email from B that had some pictures of A attachted*. The email was short. It just said "Thank you for giving life to A. We love him so much."

My heart jumped all over and remembered why I did all this and I decided it was all worth it.

*I've got a picture of A on my flickr account. You can check it out there but you have to be a contact of mine to see it. You can get to my flickr account by clicking on the pictures in the top of my sidebar.