Let's not jinx this

I really hope I'm pregnant. Then at least the way I'm feeling right now will be all worth it. I'm crabby and sooooo tired. I don't want to be feeling this crappy for nothing.

For the next few days (until my blood test on the 17th anyway) I'm not going to talk about the surrogacy or the pregnancy. I don't want to jinx things. In fact, I try not to even think about it. Most of the time I do ok except for when I go to the bathroom and I find myself thinking "Please oh please don't let me be flushing one of those little buggers away."

It's a funny thing. Because I am so rabidly por-choice I really don't consider embryos as being alive. I think of them as having potential life. But knowing how very, very much these little ones are wanted has made me feel very protective of the embryos. For their dad's sakes I really hope I'm able to hang on to (at least) one of them.